S

o… what do you do?”

I get asked this question 

everywhere I go. It is 

the 
first 
thing 
on 

the 
agenda 
when 

meeting new people, 
whether 
it’s 
your 

neighbors at a garage 
sale or recruiters at 
an event. Answering 
this question is tricky. 
Though no one says 
it so directly, it is 
likely that people will 
scrutinize and judge 
your response. This 
question carries so much weight 
that it is even considered the 
life’s most dangerous question, 
according to The Minimalists. 
So, how do we get it right? How 
can we fascinate people in just a 
few seconds?

I never knew how to respond 

but I always knew how not to. I’ve 
realized that most people have 
a limited way of answering this 
question. If you observe closely, 
people sound like a recorded 
resume. Press “play” and they will 
spew out their job titles and all their 
projects and accomplishments. 
They assume that being impressive 
means talking technical. But no 
one likes a robot. If you bombard 
people with details, you lose them.

When it comes to the topic 

of effective speaking, there are 
countless self-help books and 
YouTube videos on how to become 
more charismatic and how to 
be more memorable. Some are 
convinced that we must maintain 
eye contact and talk slowly; others 
maintain that we must turn 
anxiety into excitement. This 
is all great advice — but there’s 
one other factor that is often 
overlooked. My own view is that of 
James Whittaker, a distinguished 
engineer from Microsoft: that 
storytelling is, in fact, the secret to 
turning this dreadful question into 
a moment of fascination.

In fact, a study from Princeton 

University 
finds 
that 
stories 

synchronize our brains — the same 

brain regions activate 
in both the speaker 
and listener when we 
tell a story. Stories 
are 
powerful 
and 

memorable 
because 

we can relate to them. 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Here’s 
how 

Whittaker 
put 

storytelling 
into 

practice. 
Whittaker 

met Bill Gates for 
the first time at a 

conference full of overachievers. 
Desperate 
to 
get 
a 
moment 

with Gates, a guy from Cornell 
boasted about his expertise in 
machine-learning and another 
guy from Stanford talked big about 
computer vision. But their rhetoric 
worked against them. Whittaker 
examined their interactions only 
to find that Gates was bored out of 
his mind.

So what did Whittaker do 

differently so that one of the 
world’s most influential people 
held on to his hand and didn’t 
let go?

“Mr. Gates, I test software, 

because a computer on every 
desk and in every home that 
doesn’t work is no contribution 
to humanity, sir,” Whittaker said. 
How brilliant. Not only did he tell 
a story, he actually used Gates’s 
own story to connect with him. 
“A computer on every desk and 
in every home” was Microsoft’s 
motto at the time.

So if we love stories, why don’t 

we tell more of them? It is because 
we tend to dismiss small talk as an 
opportunity to connect. Yes, we’ve 
all been there. The uncomfortable 
silences in elevators and waiting 
rooms, taking out cell phones to 
avoid eye contact.

Talking 
to 
strangers 
is 

uncomfortable. As Laurie Helgoe, 
author of “Introvert Power: Why 

Your Inner Life is Your Hidden 
Strength,” writes in her book, “We 
hate small talk because we hate the 
barrier it creates between people.”

Small talk is also often looked 

down upon. A friend wrote in 
my high school yearbook, “Small 
talk is for small people, and that 
stuff is not for you.” In making 
this comment, he meant that I’m 
a big and imaginative person who 
shouldn’t settle for less. But what 
he also implied here is that small 
talk is insignificant.

But here’s what people may 

overlook: All conversations and 
relationships do start small, and 
taking these moments to share 
stories is where fascinating and 
boring people differ.

By no means am I suggesting 

you to be someone you’re not. You 
don’t have to change who you 
are. In fact, “You have to become 
more of who you are,” says Sally 
Hogshead, creator of Fascination 
Personality test. We are all born 
fascinating — we just have to 
unlearn how to be boring.

Break out of your scripted 

responses. Break out of your already 
prepared conversations. Start out 
your next presentation with a story. 
Remind people in the elevator 
about the first time you got stuck in 
one. Ask the person standing next 
to you in Starbucks line what their 
favorite drink is and why. People 
want to connect. And who knows? 
From these interactions, you might 
capture someone’s attention who 
could be your next employer, best 
friend or even the love of your life. 
(I certainly did.)

So, what do you do? Well I eat, I 

work out (occasionally) and I type 
really loudly on keyboards. And I 
also write stories about how people 
can become more fascinating. 
What is your story?

I 

spent this weekend skiing 
in 
northern 
Michigan 

while basking in the warm 

weather. Skiing with 
the sun beating down 
on my face as the 
temperature hit the 
50s would have been 
perfect if it hadn’t been 
February. It was still an 
enjoyable experience, 
don’t get me wrong, 
but the looming threat 
of 
global 
warming 

intruded 
on 
my 

happiness. I grew up 
in northern Michigan 
and spent my childhood 
exploring the slopes. I started skiing 
around the age of 3 and started 
snowboarding 
and 
ski-racing 

around the age of 12. These hills 
defined my youth, and I couldn’t 
help but fear my kids would never 
be able to have that experience. 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

This 
might 
seem 
overly 

dramatic or, if you don’t believe 
in climate change, absolutely 
ridiculous. 
Publications 
like 

Breitbart, after all, will have you 
believe that the warming of the 
earth’s climate can be disproved 
by lower temperatures in parts 
of the world. Breitbart also 
claims that climate change is a 
hoax against taxpayers. These 
views aren’t exclusive to far-
right publications, however. A 
study published in the journal, 
Public Understanding of Science, 
shows that the more Americans 
use conservative media, like Fox 
News, the less they trust scientists 
and the less certain they are that 
global warming is happening. 
Our very own president once 
tweeted, “The concept of global 
warming was created by and for 
the Chinese in order to make U.S. 
manufacturing non-competitive.”

Well, 
if 
China 
fabricated 

climate change, it sure is putting 
its money where its mouth 
is. 
China’s 
National 
Energy 

Administration announced plans 
to spend $361 billion on renewable 
power sources through 2020. 
China is also halfway through 
a plan to spend $88 billion on 
ultra-high-voltage direct-current 
connectors to stabilize their 
energy supply and better supply 
renewable energy to cities and 

industrial centers. Wow, they 
sure fell for that one!

China, 
though, 
isn’t 
the 

only 
country 
that 

has picked on the 
scientific 
consensus. 

The European Union 
aims 
to 
spend 
at 

least 20 percent of its 
budget through 2020 
on 
protecting 
the 

climate. Additionally, 
the EU, along with 
192 
states, 
signed 

on 
to 
the 
Paris 

Climate 
Agreement, 

committing 
to 

lowering 
global 
CO2 

emissions 
and 
mitigate 
the 

effects of climate change. Those 
schmucks! Oh, wait, no, the United 
States is one of the signatories. Mr. 
Trump has said he would cancel 
the climate deal, a commitment 
that brought him sharp criticism 
from 375 scientists, including 30 
Nobel Prize winners. Those hacks?

But even when not considered 

to be a conspiratorial hoax, 
climate change is often considered 
an issue at odds with U.S. economic 
interests. The narrative goes that, 
yes, climate change is happening, 
but fighting climate change would 
put the United States at an economic 
disadvantage, so the environment 
must be put on the back burner 
for now. But with so many other 
countries 
making 
substantial 

investments in sustainable energy, 
is refusing to address the need for 
renewable resources really the best 
course of action for our country? Is 
Trump’s promise to “put the coal 
country back to work” a practical 
economic strategy?

If I had to guess, clinging to 

the past and burying our heads 
in the sand probably isn’t the 
best way to promote economic 
growth and stay economically 
competitive as a country. It’s time 
to embrace that economic growth 
and environmental sustainability 
are not diametrically opposed. 
Sustainable energy is the future, 
and pretending otherwise might 
be profitable in the short term. 
In the long run, though, failing 
to invest in sustainable energy 
and fight against climate change 
will bring about self-inflicted 
economic hardship. Instead of 

maintaining an oil pipeline that 
is corroding, losing coating and 
putting Michigan’s water and 
shorelines in danger, Michigan 
should invest in energy sources 
that don’t threaten our tourism 
industry and natural beauty. This 
shouldn’t be controversial or 
partisan: it’s common sense and 
it’s in all of our best interests.

So, 
if 
melting 
snow 
and 

childhoods without skiing don’t 
tug on your heartstrings enough, 
consider the economic argument 
for embracing the industries of the 
future. And if that’s not enough 
for you, consider the rising 
sea levels due to ice melting. 
Florida might be one of the more 
bizarre states, but it would be a 
bit of a bummer if it was entirely 
submerged in water.

With all this pressing need for 

progress, though, our country 
seems to be moving backward. Last 
Friday, Scott Pruitt was confirmed 
to 
lead 
the 
Environmental 

Protection Agency, despite the 
fact that he has built a career 
of suing the EPA to block its 
environmental regulations. Pruitt 
has acknowledged the existence of 
human-caused climate change, but 
his past suggests that he would do 
little to prevent the consequences 
of climate change. He claims his 
fights against the EPA are merely 
against government overreach. 
But if the head of the EPA doesn’t 
think the government should fight 
climate change, who will be able 
to take up the fight to preserve our 
country and our prosperity?

We might be about to find 

out. 
The 
day 
after 
Pruitt’s 

confirmation, hundreds gathered 
in Ann Arbor to march for climate 
change action in the Citizens’ 
Climate Rally. On April 29, the 
People’s 
Climate 
Movement 

will bring people to march for 
the cause in Washington D.C. 
and around the country. These 
marchers aren’t just tree-hugging 
hippies whom we can afford 
to ignore — they are scientists, 
advocates and, ultimately, people 
who care about our Earth, our 
economy and our future. We 

Opinion
The Michigan Daily — michigandaily.com
4 — Thursday, February 23, 2017

REBECCA LERNER

Managing Editor

420 Maynard St. 

Ann Arbor, MI 48109

 tothedaily@michigandaily.com

Edited and managed by students at the University of Michigan since 1890.

EMMA KINERY

Editor in Chief

ANNA POLUMBO-LEVY 

and REBECCA TARNOPOL 

Editorial Page Editors

Unsigned editorials reflect the official position of the Daily’s Editorial Board. 

All other signed articles and illustrations represent solely the views of their authors.

Carolyn Ayaub
Megan Burns

Samantha Goldstein

Caitlin Heenan
Jeremy Kaplan

Max Lubell

Alexis Megdanoff
Madeline Nowicki
Anna Polumbo-Levy 

Jason Rowland

Ali Safawi

Kevin Sweitzer

Rebecca Tarnopol

Ashley Tjhung

Stephanie Trierweiler

EDITORIAL BOARD MEMBERS

Never be speechless

GINA CHOE | COLUMN

The climate change conspiracy?

MAY KATE WINN | COLUMN

Gina Choe can be reached at 

ginachoe@umich.edu.

MARY KATE 

WINN

D

isclaimer: As an adoptee, 
I consider the family 
I live with in America 

as my family and I consider my 
biological Vietnamese family as 
my birth family. 

“Gotcha Day” has been a day 

that has been met with warmth 
and love from my parents. It’s 
a day that is celebrated when 
adopted parents finally get their 
adopted child. I was six months 
old when I was got from Thai 
Binh, Vietnam. My name before 
then was Nguyen Đai Duong. I 
was got on Feb. 9 and not too long 
after, my name would be Adam 
Yeager Brodnax.

Why 
is 
“gotcha” 
so 

cringeworthy?

Articulating the word gotcha 

feels like I’m on my iPhone 
with “Pokemon Go” opened 
as I frantically flick my finger 
across the screen trying to catch 
a Snorlax. My typical uses of 
the word “gotcha” are when I’m 
on my tippy toes reaching for a 
glass on the top shelf, or when 
I catch a firefly flickering in my 
aunt’s backyard.

The nomenclature of this 

day is problematic in itself. 
Margaret Schwartz suggested 
the 
day, 
“International 

Gotcha Day,” in 2005 in her 
book “The Pumpkin Patch: A 
Single Woman’s International 
Adoption 
Journey.” 
Though 

with good sentiment, the name 
“Gotcha Day” celebrates the 
beginnings of a family that is 
ultimately insensitive toward the 
circumstances of many children 
who are involuntarily taken from 
their ancestral threads as a door 
closes behind them.

The 
word, 
“gotcha,” 
has 

multiple definitions, synonyms 
and connotations that don’t 
encompass what being adopted 
means to me. The online Oxford 
Dictionary defines “gotcha” as 
“a sudden unforeseen problem.” 
Merriam-Webster 
defines 

“gotcha” as “an unexpected 
usually disconcerting challenge, 
revelation, or catch.” So using 
the term “gotcha” to celebrate 
the adoption of a child seems a 
bit off, right? It is not so simple 
to reduce the trying process of 

adoption to the word “gotcha.” 
It requires extensive paperwork 
for the adopting family that can 
take a while to get through all 
while another family is going 
through the process of giving 
up one of their own. When can 
you last remember celebrating a 
loved one or being at a wedding 
where a spouse celebrated their 
significant other with “I gotcha?”

The flipside
With adoption, there are two 

distinct worlds that only ever 
collide in one singular body. 
My birth family never met my 
adopted family. This makes 
me the physical and emotional 
embodiment that bridges these 
two worlds together. To one 
world, the joy that accompanies 
the addition of a child should be 
celebrated. It’s a beginning — 
that part is unequivocally true. 
The struggles and tribulations 
of legally adopting are a burden. 
The relief of that burden comes 
in the form of the child finally 
arriving. The joy and happiness 
that was brought to my parents 
is something that should be 
acknowledged, 
because 
they 

put their hearts into ensuring I 
grew up happy and healthy.

Yet, what is so often forgotten 

is that what’s left behind is a 
mother wondering where in the 
hell her kid landed. The joy of 
the legal addition to a new family 
comes at the expense of plucking 
a child away from a pair of arms 
— the emotional abandonment of 
one of her own. While there are 
many reasons a family may give 
up their child, I cannot move 
myself to imagine that my birth 
family’s decision to give me away 
came without pain.

So let’s abandon the word 

“gotcha”

The process of deciding that 

you can’t afford another life 
cannot be trivial. People are so 
easily reduced to dollar signs. 
For my American parents, they 
had to pay fees and services 
to legally adopt me. My birth 
family had to decide financially 
that they couldn’t afford me. 
This cold, inhumane concept 
of commodification envelopes 
me with willowing pain and 
unsettling 
frustration. 
Child 

adoption is not PetSmart — you 
do not walk in, pick me off the 
shelf, slap a barcode on my body 

and check-out. You do not got 
me. 

In a process filled with so 

many 
conflicting 
emotions, 

we 
should 
not 
reduce 
the 

summation of the adoption 
process to a word as predatory 
and as acquisitional as “gotcha.” 
This 
is 
a 
day 
filled 
with 

gratitude, regret, love, longing, 
heartache 
and 
dissonance. 

“Gotcha Day” is a day where I 
am filled with so many questions 
for my birth family surrounding 
my adoption. Why was I given 
up? Do I look like any of my 
siblings? Are they healthy? Are 
my parents still alive? I have 
no photos of my birth family, 
so for me, I struggle to imagine 
what my life could have been. 
I don’t know if I look more like 
my dad or my mom, and that’s 
something that hollows my 
heart. But, adoption should be 
a time of elation for these new 
moms and new fathers. It’s 
the beginnings of a family that 
couldn’t have existed without 
tribulation. We rightfully should 
celebrate it, but we should be 
conscious of the pain. We must 
be mindful that the feeling of 
abandonment, at whatever age, 
is breaking. Whatever bond that 
child had developed with their 
birth parents is ripped away 
slowly and at the price of their 
shaky readiness to let go. 

This day, which is filled 

with 
polarizing 
emotions, 

must acknowledge just that. 
It must encompass the weight 
of the birth family’s loss while 
relishing in the elation of the 
family who just welcomed their 
new child. To the critics who 
will not validate my pain for this 
day without a solution, I will 
give you a solution. Of the many 
proposals out there, the one 
that resonates most is “Family 
Day” because it considers both 
families. This name includes 
both the Brodnax family and it 
includes the Duong family and 
recognizes my belonging to 
both. It is inclusive to the two 
strings of yarn that have been 
woven through generation after 
generation into the infused 
thread I am today.

Let’s abandon the word “Gotcha” 

Adam Brodnax is a senior editor for 

Michigan in Color.

GINA 
CHOE

Mary Kate Winn can be reached at 

winnm@umich.edu.

MICHIGAN IN COLOR

ADAM BRODNAX

“

JOE IOVINO | CONTACT JOE AT JIOVINO@UMICH.EDU

for the ones that got abandoned

