3B
Wednesday, February 22, 2017 // The Statement 

BY SYLVANNA GROSS, DAILY SPORTS EDITOR

ILLUSTRATION BY ERIN TOLAR

“

So, what are your plans for next year?”

Eight words that all seniors respond to 

with immediate sweaty palms and slight 
nausea. It’s an involuntary response that 
most of us experience because being asked 

to confront the biggest source of stress we have at this 
moment is awful.

Every. Single. Senior. Has heard this question — at 

minimum — 10,000,000,000,000 times this year alone. 
And, in case you slept through the last moments of 2016 
and Mariah Carey’s New Year’s Eve performance, it’s 
just two months into the new year.

The question itself is relatively harmless at face 

value. It’s a natural follow-up to the normal “How are 
you?” “I’m good, how are you?” type of conversation 
you have twice every hour on average. More often 
than not, though, the question is asked by someone 
carelessly inquiring about your future on the off-
chance that they’ll be interested. Or, their parents just 
taught them good manners and reminded them not to 
talk just about themselves during small talk.

Coming from peers, the question is inquisitive. 

Coming from relatives, the question can be intrusive 
and coming from strangers the question can be 
invasive. But for whatever reason the question is asked, 
there’s still the obvious fact that you must now answer 
it.

And that’s why a lot of 

us want to spontaneously 
combust, because we just 
don’t know. And in a society 
where saving face is key 
and having your stuff 
together is attractive, 
admitting 
that 
we 

are clueless AF is 
unbearable.

No matter how 

you answer the 
question, you’re 
trapped. 
If 

you’re one of the chosen few and have already locked 
down a job or a graduate position or whatever, you feel 
guilty by bragging or feel disheartened when they don’t 
care or feel protective if nosy relatives give you their 
take on what you’re choosing to do.

Because clearly Aunt Helen knows more about 

working in a lab than you, even though you’re the one 
graduating with a degree in biomedical engineering.

If you respond with a joke, others might feel that you 

aren’t taking things seriously and you might become 
a bum. If you respond with a simple “I don’t know,” 
the pesky counterpart will probably follow up with a 
“Well, do you have any ideas?” type of question.

So how, as seniors, do we grapple with publicizing 

one of the scariest transitions in our lives while also not 
knowing what to publicize?

I’ve found that politely disassociating with the 

conversation works. That, and learning to just have 
quick hits such as “I’ve applied to some jobs” or “Some 
graduate schools are looking at my application now.” 
Just enough information to quell the nosiest inquirer, 
but not enough to display how much you have no clue 
what’s going on.

In truth, there’s a part of me that loves the question. 

I mean, it’s inviting me to talk about myself, which is 

amazing. When I first started getting the question in 
September, I would jump at the chance to talk freely 
about all the possibilities I had in front of me. Quickly, 
when I saw my friends solidifying their post-graduation 
plans, my frankness turned to embarrassment because 
there was nothing definitive. And then it turned to 
humor. Over holiday break, my friend asked me what I 
will be doing my next year and I just laughed.

It’s not that I find not knowing what I’m going to 

be doing funny, it’s just that I find my reaction to 
the question now funny. Going into senior year, and 
hearing from former then-senior friends, I knew 
that people didn’t like being asked that question, 
which I had always found unfathomable. How do 
you not like talking about yourself? But I think I 
get the dislike now. The question just invites me 
to continuously face an unknown future, which 
scares me quite shitless.

So, I’m not suggesting that people don’t ask, 

because I understand the knee-jerk curiosity for 
someone else’s life. But, maybe, wait for them to 
post a Facebook status about their job offer or 
graduate school offer or whatever else they might 
be doing before subjecting them to the challenge of 
explaining their (probably) stressful decisions. 

How to: Respond to The Question

1. So, you’ve been asked about 

your plans.
2. First rule: No matter how much you want to claw 

their eyes out, consider that the last resort.

3. Remember you probably really like whoever 

asked.
4. Seriously, remember that.

5. And if you don’t — well, your mom would 

want you to stay calm.

6. Now, open your mouth.
7. Say words.

8. You can lie; for all they know, it’s the truth.

10. OK, stop saying words. You’ve probably said 

enough to bore them to the next topic of conversation.

11. Take a deep breath.

12. Because at the end 

of the day, you’ll figure 
something out.

9. Say more words.

