T

his season of New 
York Fashion Week, 
I was lucky enough 

to 
assist 
the 
production 

team at an anonymous (shh!) 
designer label in a two-
day, get-shit-done conquest 
leading up to their fall winter 
2017 show. Here’s how it went 
down, in real time.

Day Before Show
2:03 p.m.: My room key is 

MIA, my shoes are soaked 
and I just spent an entire 30 
minutes next to Kyle Mooney 
on the train without saying a 
word.

Craziest street style of the 

day has to go to my man, 
Winter Storm Niko. He’s 
wound up in every single 
photo, for better or worse. 
Look out, Vogue.com! I start 
my unpaid job at 3. Hopefully 
no one at the showroom is 
bothered by my discolored 
Nike combat boots.

4:21 p.m.: At Starbucks 

(again) on a break after 
working for an hour — 
grueling. 
The 
showroom 

is incredible, all glitz and 
gilded. Everyone is terribly 
nice. I organized expensive 
underwear for the expensive 
fashion show, took inventory 

of more nice things and 
stripped models of their less 
expensive clothes, stuffing 
their limbs into colorful, 
avant-garde confections. One 
model told me all about the 
laser eye surgery she had in 
Australia. This coffee tastes 
like chorizo. I can’t find my 
water bottle. Sad!

Two of my fellow interns 

just walked in. Have you 
guys seen a blue water bottle? 
No? I’m about to walk into a 
world-class showroom just 
to search for a half-broken 
water bottle. At least they’ll 
know that I mean business. 
I’m already bored here and 
I’m praying I will have some 
incredibly 
time-consuming 

task to go back to. That 
showroom is the bedroom my 
12-year-old self so desperately 
wanted. Come to think of it, 
this life is all my 12-year-old 
self could have asked for. She 
would be so proud.

9:04 p.m.: All right, now it’s 

really over for the day. I run 
around town in search of a 
FedEx, only to find it hidden 
in the basement of a Sheraton 
(a 
Sheraton?), 
down 
the 

street from the showroom. 
I accidentally walk in on the 

designer’s model fittings. I 
helped make the executive 
decision 
of 
what 
pants 

Kylie will wear to the show 
tomorrow. Full disclosure: 
She doesn’t own half of the 
merch 
in 
her 
Instagram 

photos. The designer loan is 
an age-old trick of the trade.

My boss seems to like me, 

and I’m liking her more and 
more by the minute — if 
corporate love really does 
exist, I think I’ve found it. On 
my way out for the night, she 
gave me a shirt to wear to the 
show tomorrow: A politically 
charged plain white tee, 
listing the phone numbers of 
every state’s Congressional 
representatives. Tell me again 
how “frivolous” fashion is, 
Jake Tapper. Tell me again.

Show Day
9:54 p.m.: I’ve been working 

since 10 a.m. Can’t talk. Too 
much. After-party in a few.

The Morning After
9:38 a.m.: I’m feeling so 

many things — my legs are 
jelly and my stomach is 
growling. I’m proud and 
scared for the team all at 
once. Speaking only in terms 
of the 20-minute span in 
which models paraded the 

runway, 
everything 
was 

perfect. Beautiful, kitschy 
pieces that hugged the body 
like a supermodel’s second 
skin.

Logistically, though, last 

night was a textbook example 
of how one powerful person 
can foil an entire company’s 
expertly-planned production. 
I won’t go into detail, but 
imagine a GSI stepping into 
your 
semester-long 
group 

project only to swap out its 
most reliable members in 
favor of his or her friends. 
That would never happen 
(read: Leaders and the Best), 
but you get the picture.

Last night taught me that 

what’s out of my control may 
suck, but that it will never 
take away from what is in 
my hands. Those seat cards 
I made? Mad awesome — 
Arial bold has never looked 
better. Gossip session with 
Fern Mallis? She’ll probably 
remember my name for 
three whole days.

In 
all 
seriousness, 

I’m so proud of what I 
accomplished alongside the 
rest of my team. Their free 
Moët at the after-party was 
well, well deserved.

2B

Managaing Editor:

Lara Moehlman

Deputy Editors:

Yoshiko Iwai

Brian Kuang 

Photo Editor:

Zoey Holmstrom

Editor in Chief:

Emma Kinery 

Managing Editor:

Rebecca Lerner

Copy Editors:

Danielle Jackson

Taylor Grandinetti

Wednesday, February 15, 2017 // The Statement 

In Excess: A Stream of Fashion Week Consciousness

ILLUSTRATION BY OLIVIA STILLMAN

BY TESS GARCIA, SENIOR ARTS EDITOR

statement

THE MICHIGAN DAILY | FEBRUARY 15, 2017

