H

ey, you.

How’s it hanging back there?

Is the weather all right? Have you fallen
victim to any wandering eyes recently?
Who am I kidding, of course you have. I
have felt many a strange glance searing in
your direction as of late (read: cuffing sea-
son, and the like).

I am not here to mock your unusual

width, nor your circumference. I have no
desire to poke fun at your stretch marks,
hard-earned by a body that I am still learn-
ing to love. No, my dear friend and favored
appendage, I am writing to you today to
say thank you.

You have granted me the gift of resil-

ience, both physical and mental. I have
always given you the respect and care you
deserve and have subsequently become
known as the squat queen at my local
CrossFit gym. Not even the longest of wall
sits can conquer your prowess. On the
emotional side of the spectrum, your has
taught me to turn the other cheek (this was
not intended to become a pun, but now that
it is one, I’m running with it) in uncom-
fortable situations. For better or worse,
you have given me no choice but to learn
to walk calmly past every catcaller, to hop
through whatever means of public tran-
sit in order to shield you from a drunken
stranger’s grip. No one should have to face
such encounters, let alone dodge them on a
regular basis, but this world’s inhabitants
are far from perfect. While I have trained
you to endure temporary bodily pain, you
have trained me to use the faults of those
around me as a means of growing stronger.

Thank you for assisting me in my

romantic ventures. I know that sounds
crazy — well, it would if you had ears
— but hear me out. Silly as it may sound,
you have served as an excellent means of
experimentation in the world of teenage
love affairs. Thanks to you, separating the
good boys from the bad has become mere
child’s play. If my date still calls me beau-
tiful when I cover you with a loosely fit-
ted skirt, I will likely hold him in better
standing than someone who only gives me

the time of day when I’m on my way back
from yoga. You have forced me to search
for a significant other who sees in me all
that I see in myself, as opposed to just the
back of me. In turn, your prominence has
provoked months of self-searching, during
which time I have realized you are not the
only part of me worth appreciating.

To that end, you have shown me that the

best things in life are not consequences of
my outward appearance, and for that I am

eternally grateful. Your ever-present vol-
ume has granted me only a slew of short-
lived football-player flings, none of which
will ever compare to the joys brought about
by my own abilities. I am more proud of my
writing, my athletic feats, and my academ-
ic achievements than I am of your chance
appearance in my life. You have convinced
me that no amount of hollow compliments
will guarantee me a sense of self-worth;
rather, confidence is a trait I must fight to
acquire on my own.

It has taken all of my adolescence to

come to terms with you. You have made
every pair of skinny jeans a conquest,
every bar stool an unreliable failure. Yet
you have taught me not to sell myself
short, that Tess Garcia is more than
just “the girl with the big situation back
there.” She is bold, she is smart and she
is powerful in both body and mind. No
derogatory slur will tarnish my confi-
dence, nor will any shallow compliment
inflate it.Your full-figured being is a con-
sistent reminder of all that I need to push
myself through everyday life. The best
part? You are literally just a butt. I don’t
know when my backside took a front seat
in my life, but I sure am glad it did.

With love, gratitude, and absolutely no

shame,

Tess

P.S. — About the football player who

told you you were small … let’s forget
about him.

2B

Magazine Editor:

Lara Moehlman

Deputy Editors:

Matt Gallatin

Yoshiko Iwai

Design Editor:

Katie Spak

Photo Editor:

Claire Abdo

Editor in Chief:

Emma Kinery

Managing Editor:

Rebecca Lerner

Copy Editors:

Danielle Jackson

Taylor Grandinetti

the statement

Wednesday, Janurary 4th, 2017 / The Statement

Personal Statement: Thank You, But

B Y T E S S G A R C I A , S E N I O R A R T S E D I TO R

the
tangent

ILLUSTRATION BY KATIE SPAK