H

ey, you.

How’s it hanging back there? 

Is the weather all right? Have you fallen 
victim to any wandering eyes recently? 
Who am I kidding, of course you have. I 
have felt many a strange glance searing in 
your direction as of late (read: cuffing sea-
son, and the like).

I am not here to mock your unusual 

width, nor your circumference. I have no 
desire to poke fun at your stretch marks, 
hard-earned by a body that I am still learn-
ing to love. No, my dear friend and favored 
appendage, I am writing to you today to 
say thank you.

You have granted me the gift of resil-

ience, both physical and mental. I have 
always given you the respect and care you 
deserve and have subsequently become 
known as the squat queen at my local 
CrossFit gym. Not even the longest of wall 
sits can conquer your prowess. On the 
emotional side of the spectrum, your has 
taught me to turn the other cheek (this was 
not intended to become a pun, but now that 
it is one, I’m running with it) in uncom-
fortable situations. For better or worse, 
you have given me no choice but to learn 
to walk calmly past every catcaller, to hop 
through whatever means of public tran-
sit in order to shield you from a drunken 
stranger’s grip. No one should have to face 
such encounters, let alone dodge them on a 
regular basis, but this world’s inhabitants 
are far from perfect. While I have trained 
you to endure temporary bodily pain, you 
have trained me to use the faults of those 
around me as a means of growing stronger.

Thank you for assisting me in my 

romantic ventures. I know that sounds 
crazy — well, it would if you had ears 
— but hear me out. Silly as it may sound, 
you have served as an excellent means of 
experimentation in the world of teenage 
love affairs. Thanks to you, separating the 
good boys from the bad has become mere 
child’s play. If my date still calls me beau-
tiful when I cover you with a loosely fit-
ted skirt, I will likely hold him in better 
standing than someone who only gives me 

the time of day when I’m on my way back 
from yoga. You have forced me to search 
for a significant other who sees in me all 
that I see in myself, as opposed to just the 
back of me. In turn, your prominence has 
provoked months of self-searching, during 
which time I have realized you are not the 
only part of me worth appreciating.

To that end, you have shown me that the 

best things in life are not consequences of 
my outward appearance, and for that I am 

eternally grateful. Your ever-present vol-
ume has granted me only a slew of short-
lived football-player flings, none of which 
will ever compare to the joys brought about 
by my own abilities. I am more proud of my 
writing, my athletic feats, and my academ-
ic achievements than I am of your chance 
appearance in my life. You have convinced 
me that no amount of hollow compliments 
will guarantee me a sense of self-worth; 
rather, confidence is a trait I must fight to 
acquire on my own.

It has taken all of my adolescence to 

come to terms with you. You have made 
every pair of skinny jeans a conquest, 
every bar stool an unreliable failure. Yet 
you have taught me not to sell myself 
short, that Tess Garcia is more than 
just “the girl with the big situation back 
there.” She is bold, she is smart and she 
is powerful in both body and mind. No 
derogatory slur will tarnish my confi-
dence, nor will any shallow compliment 
inflate it.Your full-figured being is a con-
sistent reminder of all that I need to push 
myself through everyday life. The best 
part? You are literally just a butt. I don’t 
know when my backside took a front seat 
in my life, but I sure am glad it did.

With love, gratitude, and absolutely no 

shame,

Tess

P.S. — About the football player who 

told you you were small … let’s forget 
about him.

2B

Magazine Editor:

Lara Moehlman

Deputy Editors:

Matt Gallatin

Yoshiko Iwai 

Design Editor:

Katie Spak

Photo Editor:

Claire Abdo

Editor in Chief:

Emma Kinery 

Managing Editor:

Rebecca Lerner

Copy Editors:

Danielle Jackson

Taylor Grandinetti

the statement

Wednesday, Janurary 4th, 2017 / The Statement 

Personal Statement: Thank You, But

B Y T E S S G A R C I A , S E N I O R A R T S E D I TO R

the
tangent

ILLUSTRATION BY KATIE SPAK

