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the statement

Wednesday, November 23, 2016 / The Statement

How To: Pledging for Unity in the Face of Divisiveness 

B Y S Y LVA N N A G R O S S

the
tangent

I

’m sure you’re really tired of hearing more about 
President-elect Donald Trump. Good, because this 
isn’t about him. This is about me.

So, I’m obviously going to start with an inspirational 

quote that I did not say.

“My mom used to say, ‘You can’t fall off the floor’ ” 

— Bakari Sellers, vice chairman of the South Carolina 
Democratic Party.

This past weekend I traveled to Washington, D.C. 

to participate as a representative of the University 
of Michigan Hillel in the General Assembly of the 
Jewish Federations of North America. It was a little life 
changing and it’s where I heard Sanders speak.

At the GA — that’s the cool, hip abbreviated way to 

say it — I got to sit four rows away from Supreme Court 
Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg (who claimed that she is 
proud to be the Notorious RBG), to Skype with Prime 
Minister Benjamin Netanyahu, to be in contact with 
congressman Ted Deutch (D—FL), to be front row at a 
Kafe Shahor Hazak (“Strong Black Coffee” in Hebrew) 
hip-hop concert and to participate in multiple breakout 
sessions on philanthropy, media during the presidential 
election and the Jewish voice in Israel.

Just pointing out, the above paragraph is only one 

sentence. Haters back off.

In one of the breakout sessions, I sat in the audience 

of a panel filled with two Jewish African Americans, 
Yavilah McCoy and Gamal Palmer and Sellers, a 
political commentator for CNN. McCoy was strong in 
her stance to inspire us to march forward confident in 
our identities, Palmer preached the value of respecting 
those identities and Sellers spoke of his belief that we 
will all be all right.

Expectedly, I walked away feeling inspired.
I also had the chance to visit, as a part of the first 

Jewish group, the National Museum of African 
American History and Culture. The exclusivity of the 
NMAAHC (the museum is booked through March) can 
be equated to Hamilton, but it’s worth it. The museum is 
breathtakingly amazing.

But the main point of this article is about a meaningful 

conversation I had the day after visiting the museum 

with some fellow Michiganders. In brief, we spoke about 
how amazing the museum was, but how we did not think 
we felt the same impact because of the privilege of our 
skin. We spoke about how that wasn’t inherently bad to 
not understand the full weight of the museum, as we are 
sure others do not feel the same impact when they visit 
the United States Holocaust Memorial Museum or Yad 
Vashem in Israel. Though the Jewish voice is entwined 
with the Civil Rights movement in America, it is not the 
spotlight. We cannot claim that.

Within this conversation among Jewish women, I 

want to point out two major points.

The first is that we spoke about it. We talked and 

explained how we were affected and how we felt while 
maintaining the sanctity of those who were directly 
affected. The second is that we were there and we were 
inspired. We didn’t “otherize” ourselves, as Sellers puts 
it, or stake claim to why we were being marginalized. 
Because. We. Weren’t. 

I came away from that weekend making a pledge 

to myself that I will do what I think is right. I made a 
pledge to worry about my neighbor as much as I worry 
about myself. And I made a pledge to be a part of the 
conversation, and if conversation is too little, the fight.

I know so much has been written already in the 

past week, and my voice isn’t adding much to the 
conversation. But this is as much a pledge to you as it 
is to myself. I have not mentioned political names sans 
the introduction, I have not discussed the election 
and I have not mentioned party names. I am a future 
lawyer, I see both conservative and liberal viewpoints 
and though I highly lean in one direction, I do not judge 
those who lean in the other. I believe in democracy and 
I believe in each other.

One day, I might look back and be regretful I chose to 

be very careful with my words in this column. And be 
regretful that I did not voice everything that I wanted 
to. But in truth, I don’t think I will. McCoy said this to 
us: “This is a time for action, not for words.” And I hope 
whoever knows me will attest in these coming years, as 
I become a real adult, that my actions will be just and my 
words will be few.

At the GA, a very common dialogue was, “We have 

not forgotten,” to remind ourselves that as the Jewish 
community we have not forgotten our past. And so it 
is our duty to now stand up and protect those whose 
future is in danger.

As a Jewish woman, I have not forgotten.
And now is not a time to keep quiet and forget, either. 

Your economic status is not more important than the 
safety and security of the person next to you. Your 
political agenda is not more important than the safety 
and security of the person next door. Your beliefs about 
Israel, the Islamic State, in building a wall or others is 
not more important than the safety and security of your 
friends and family.

I have faith in America. I am not being naive, and I am 

not succumbing to the disillusionment of this nation. 
I do not see the danger in my day-to-day life, but that 
does not mean it does not exist. I call on you to speak 
up and be heard as we enter into the real world. We are 
the future. We must be the change and break from our 
liberal bubble and see the world for what it is, and not 
what it should be.

Listen to Sellers’ mom.
How to: Have political conversations with someone 

you don’t agree with as an adult

1. Are you both in a combative mood, angry and 

unwilling to listen?

2. If yes to 1, don’t do it
3. Are you both cool, calm and collected?
4. If yes to 3, move forward
5. Listen and engage with the other’s background
6. Speak your mind
7. You will disagree
8. The world will not end
9. Don’t worry, you’re obviously in the right
10. They are the worst 
11. People are the worst
12. Fake an excuse and disengage from the 13. 

conversation

13. “My mom is calling, she pays my tuition bill so I 

should probably talk to her”

14. If 9-12 don’t happen, congratulations, you win

