Opinion
The Michigan Daily — michigandaily.com
4A — Monday, November 14, 2016
Let’s grieve, let’s fight
T
he first time I remember
it happening, I was
standing on the rooftop
of the Cathedral in Santiago
de Compostela in Spain. I
had just finished a 600-mile
solo pilgrimage, in which I
walked from Seville in the
south of Spain to Santiago in
the northwestern corner over
the course of six weeks. I was
taking a tour of the Cathedral
of Santiago and on this tour
you are permitted to walk
along the rooftop and view the
old city below. One minute, I
am simply standing on top of
this cathedral, the next, the
building is crumbling around
me and I am falling to my death.
I imagined this, of course,
as I am still here to write
this. The point is to illustrate
what is called an “intrusive
thought,” one of five diagnostic
criteria
for
Post-Traumatic
Stress Disorder, a disorder I
was diagnosed with in October
2015. This news came to me
nearly four years after the first
time I was raped, and only nine
months after the most recent
episode of sexual assault.
In total, I have been raped
four times. Only one of which
happened
while
I
was
a
student. All of which happened
with people I knew. None of
which happened in a dark
alley behind a dumpster or
while I was unconscious from
drinking. The sad truth is
that this is the reality of rape.
Sexual violence against women
is largely not committed by
strangers at gunpoint as the
media would like us to believe.
It is committed in the safety
of our own homes by those we
know and trust.
My
story
is
about
the
aftermath of rape. What happens
to survivors after the fact is
so often ignored, minimized
with a blanket statement or
sensationalized when someone
is brave enough to speak out
about it (take the Stanford Rape
Case). The truth is, though, that
our suffering doesn’t end when
the trauma stops, it is only the
beginning. The truth is, not all
of us have witnesses. The truth
is, rape is a contest of “he said,
she said” and more often than
not, what she says is denied
its own validity. The truth is,
reporting these crimes isn’t
taken seriously. The truth is,
Brock Turner only spent three
months in jail for being caught in
the act of raping an unconscious
woman. The truth is, rape causes
so many of us to suffer so much
more after the physical act than
the world cares to know. The
truth is, unfortunately, that
survivors of sexual assault often
suffer in silence.
PTSD is a mental disorder
that I have to carry daily. For the
six months after my pilgrimage,
I lived (and still live) with
intrusive thoughts, among other
things. I envisioned myself being
hit by a bus each time I crossed
the road. I would walk into the
bathroom and imagine that my
roommate would be dead in the
bathtub. Waiting at the bus stop,
I expected to be shot down by a
drive-by gunman. This was so
common that I thought it was
normal. I thought to myself,
“the worst thing has already
happened, so of course I imagine
all these terrible things all the
time.” I didn’t think I needed
help; it just made sense that the
world was a terrifying place.
These
are
the
milder
symptoms
of
PTSD;
others
include
flashbacks,
mind
and
body
disassociation,
avoidance
of
activities
and
places, hypervigilance, general
disinterest,
disabling
panic
attacks caused by severe anxiety
and depression spotted with
suicidal episodes. I call PTSD
my “invisible disability,” always
there but never seen. I am able
to function highly in daily life;
I remain employed and in a
healthy, long-term relationship,
but my life is permeated with
a constant feeling of fear and I
struggle with a severe mental
illness that only those closest to
me witness.
In
some
sense,
having
PTSD is like living as though
you are dying. Your body
is constantly on high alert,
ready to take action against
any
danger,
triggering
the
fight, flight or freeze response
almost constantly. However,
this becomes exhausting and
disabling when simply standing
at the bus stop is perceived as a
true threat.
I have been in a cognitive
behavioral therapy program
for a year now. I’ve tried three
different medication cocktails,
of which one made me deeply
suicidal and another made me
gain 45 pounds in six months.
My mind and body have finally
settled on a combination of
Zoloft, Abilify and Wellbutrin.
A medication cocktail they call
“well-loft” because it works so
well for those of us who need
it to leave the house in the
morning. PTSD has severely
impacted
my
relationship,
draining us both and sending
us to couples therapy to cope
with the imbalance. It has
taken away from my ability
to explore the world on my
own. When I was 19, I spent
six weeks travelling Ecuador
alone. A year and a half ago,
I crossed the entire country
of Spain on foot by myself.
Now, I’m afraid of my own
bathroom. It’s disorienting and
disheartening to say the least.
I
once
heard
someone
who struggles with severe
depression
say,
“I
must
remember
that
my
track
record with bad days is 100
percent.” I want to thank this
girl for describing resilience
so eloquently. No matter how
hard things get, I stand and I
face them. Every day, I get up
and I shout out into the world,
“You will not take me!” I am
strong and I am determined to
win my life back.
This is a battle, a battle
against the invisible demons
someone else handed me when
they took away my dignity. A
battle I must fight when I did
nothing wrong. A battle that
is so incredibly unfair. That
makes me angry; it fills me
with grief. Some days it drains
my will to live. But every day,
I stand and I face the battle,
determined to win.
MICHELLE SHENG | CONTACT MICHELLE AT SHENGMI@UMICH.EDU
A dark day for Detroit
KEVIN SWEITZER | COLUMN
B
y now, we’ve started to
figure out how much
of a disaster Tuesday’s
election
was.
The
Democratic
Party
was served one of
the most thorough
defeats
they’ve
received
this
century,
and
the Electoral College system
allowed Donald Trump to win
the
presidency.
This
means
that
a
Republican-controlled
House of Representatives and
Senate will likely allow whatever
policy proposals Donald Trump
proposes to be easily passed.
However, as I sat crying
and wide awake Wednesday
morning, the tears streaming
down my face weren’t simply due
to the defeat of Hillary Clinton.
The city of Detroit was handed
an incredible defeat up and
down the ballot — a defeat that
certainly threatens a lot of the
growth that has been happening
in Detroit over the last few years.
Most
monumentally,
a
surge of anti-tax Republican
voters in the working-class
suburbs of Macomb County
led to the defeat of the
Regional Transit Authority
plan, a plan that I endorsed
earlier in the year. This
defeat means that low-income
Detroit
residents
without
cars must continue to endure
the worst transit system in
America. Additionally, any
hopes of establishing any sort
of commuter train service to
Ann Arbor was defeated in
this plan, sentencing Detroit
to auto pollution for the
foreseeable future.
The losses for Detroit don’t
stop there. In one of the most
highly contested races of the
year, an inability of community
groups and business leaders
to come together led to the
approval of proposal A and
the defeat of proposal B, both
designed
to
mandate
that
businesses receiving tax breaks
enter into a legally enforceable
contract
with
neighborhood
groups
in
the
surrounding
neighborhoods. Proposal A, which
was supported by community
groups and was organized by
grassroots organizations across
the city, differed from the
Detroit City Council-supported
Proposal B only on the threshold
of tax breaks.
The difference between the
two proposals was the threshold
that mandates the community
benefits contract. For Proposal A,
any contract receiving more than
$300,000 in tax abatements would
have to enter into a contract with
the surrounding neighborhood.
This proposal could be beneficial
to
the
neighborhoods,
but
opponents argued that it would
slow
down
growth
and new development.
Under Proposal B, the
project would have to
receive $1 million in
order to be forced into the contract
with the neighborhood — a limit
that prevents many controversial
developments from being forced
into the contract. In the last 10
years, only Little Caesars Arena
— the Detroit Red Wings’ new
Midtown arena — would have
required a contract with the
community. Once the votes were
cast, Proposal A was defeated
54 percent to 46 percent, while
Proposal B passed 53 percent to
47 percent. This is problematic
because rather than coming to
a middle-ground conclusion
in which community wishes
and
business
interests
are
respected, the debate over
community benefits contracts
is largely over with little to no
change for the community.
Even races in metro Detroit
were bad for Detroit proper.
L.
Brooks
Patterson,
long-
time Oakland County county
executive, won his 7th term
in charge of Detroit’s wealthy
northern suburbs. Patterson has
spent his entire career trying to
keep the people of Detroit down
in as many ways as possible. He
came under fire for an article
profiling him titled “Drop Dead
Detroit!” in which he said that
he wanted to “turn Detroit into
an Indian reservation, where
we herd all the Indians into the
city, build a fence around it, and
then throw in the blankets and
corn.” Patterson hates Detroit
with a burning passion, and his
re-election only serves to strain
city/suburb relations even more.
Detroit’s Election Day was
terrible on the results end and on
the voting end. Voters across the
city faced incredible barriers to
voting, including two-hour waits
and broken voting machines.
In spite of all of this, voter
turnout was higher than in 2012,
clocking in at 48.49 percent.
However, even with such a high
turnout and with 95 percent
of the ballots cast in Detroit
going to Hillary Clinton, Detroit
couldn’t overcome the massive
deficit that the rest of the state
of Michigan dug itself in to. In
the end, the race for Michigan
was won by Donald Trump in
the suburbs of Macomb County.
This county, located northeast
of Detroit, is the home of two
of the largest municipalities in
Michigan and had 67.3 percent
of its voters cast a ballot. What
sealed the deal for Trump was
the appeal of “America first”
to the county’s white, working
class voters, with 53.6 percent of
the normally Democratic county
casting their ballots for Trump.
Because
of
this
election,
Detroit faces unique problems. In
addition to the disastrous “Urban
Renewal” proposals — including a
reinstatement of unconstitutional
“stop and frisk” policies to
attempt to reduce crime in
urban areas — Trump’s wild
economic
proposals
threaten
the industries that make all of
southeast Michigan work. On the
state level, the Michigan House
of Representatives and Michigan
Senate are as Republican as ever,
and Gov. Rick Snyder still holds
power, even after his shameful
and possibly illegal handling of
the Flint water crisis. Republicans
in Lansing can continue to not
care about Michigan’s urban
centers like usual, only this time,
there is no end in sight.
In all honesty, this wasn’t just
Donald Trump’s fault. It wasn’t
the state Republican Party’s fault.
It wasn’t the racist L. Brooks
Patterson’s fault either. It wasn’t
even the fault of the Macomb
County Trump voters who turned
out to the polls like never before.
This election was a failure on
all levels to prioritize the needs
of cities like Detroit. Everyone
— Republican or Democrat — is
responsible for the tragedy that
fell upon Detroit this election.
Only by getting real with one
another about the real issue
facing America’s cities can we
hope to move forward. Detroit,
and other cities, are real places
filled with real people, and I
hope that the cities of the future
aren’t places that have been
forgotten by political leaders and
suburbanites alike. For now, this
election leaves a dark shadow
over Detroit, and the years of
inequality and pain won’t go
away soon. A solution must be
found — the future of Detroit
depends on it.
LAURA SCHINAGLE
Managing Editor
420 Maynard St.
Ann Arbor, MI 48109
tothedaily@michigandaily.com
Edited and managed by students at the University of Michigan since 1890.
SHOHAM GEVA
Editor in Chief
CLAIRE BRYAN
and REGAN DETWILER
Editorial Page Editors
Unsigned editorials reflect the official position of the Daily’s Editorial Board.
All other signed articles and illustrations represent solely the views of their authors.
Carolyn Ayaub
Claire Bryan
Regan Detwiler
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Ben Keller
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EDITORIAL BOARD MEMBERS
Kevin Sweitzer can be reached at
ksweitz@umich.edu.
MADELINE NOWICKI | OP-ED
A
s my friends and I
watched the numbers
on FiveThirtyEight and
CNN’s coverage tick toward a
Donald Trump victory, we tried
to hold back our tears. I watched
the evening unfold with a group
of young women around me —
all from different backgrounds,
all brought together because we
were hoping, desperately, that
love and compassion and reason
would win.
I was frightened for my
bodily autonomy because of the
normalization of sexual assault
and degrading violence against
women exhibited in Trump’s
rhetoric. Another friend was
concerned for her immigrant
parents, who came to this
country in search of liberty and
equality, and were now facing
racism and legislation designed
to destroy everything they have
worked for, from their small
businesses to their family’s
health care. Another friend was
concerned that LGBTQ rights
were being stripped away by
ideology that believes there’s
only one way to fit into the
American narrative.
Friends
called,
texted,
FaceTimed,
tweeted,
posted,
shared and reached out because
they were crying and didn’t
understand how the America
we have known since we were 10
years old could betray us like this.
The mood fluctuated between
anxiety so bad it caused vomiting,
to anger and frustration at the
progress we were losing, to
abject despair and loss of faith in
our nation’s structure and in our
fellow Americans.
We were together, though,
and love did win the popular
vote, if not the structural vote.
The singular thing preventing
me from hopelessness is the
knowledge
that
millions
of
Americans felt the same way
I did that night, and the same
way I continue to feel today. The
single thing bringing me hope
right now is the notion that we
can come together — those of
us hurting and terrified — and
make a difference by caring for
each other, especially women,
people
of
color,
religious
minorities,
LGBTQ
people,
disabled folks and every other
group Trump has demeaned and
denigrated every day.
I
can’t
understand
any
other way to make sense of
these results than to work
harder than I ever have in
my life to ensure our country
works toward common sense,
compassion, reason and justice
for all Americans and American
citizens. I know that millions
of us exist, and we need to do
this work. Young people, your
vote mattered. Young voters in
Michigan, your vote mattered
so, so dearly. Young people,
take your time to grieve and be
exhausted and feel defeated.
And then know that once you
have processed this in your own
way, now is the time to act.
Come together with us. We
need to build our coalition,
support each other through non-
governmental means, advocate
for
one
another,
practice
compassionate and unfearing
alliance and try desperately to
fight against the horrific actions
and sentiments of this man.
I am so disappointed and so
frightened and so upset. I am
also so determined to find the
good folks in this community,
and to build this community
and fight the good fight every
single day. Not for myself, but
for every single boy and girl
and person of color and LGBTQ
person and differently abled
and Muslim person I know and
every other person who will
have their rights and dignity
tested by this man’s disgusting
and thoughtless policies.
I am disgusted and horrified
and upset, and I know this
feeling is powerful. Let’s harness
this power. Let’s turn out in
record numbers to volunteer
for organizations supporting
refugees, reproductive rights,
minority rights and more. Let’s
turn out in record numbers
to
protest
discriminatory
policies. Let’s turn out in record
numbers to vote in 2018 and
infuse the Senate, the House of
Representatives and the state
assemblies and governorships
with love, tolerance and dignity.
Let’s turn out in record numbers
in 2020 to renounce violence
and despair and racism. Let’s not
give in. Let’s grieve, let’s fight
and let’s not let this moment go
to waste.
Madline Nowicki is a School of
Information junior.
The aftermath of sexual assault
ARIEL MALLETT
MADELINE NOWICKI
KEVIN
SWEITZER
This election was
a failure on all
levels to prioritize
the needs of cities
like Detroit.
This is the fourth piece in the
Survivors Speak series, which
seeks to share the varied,
first-person experiences of survivors
of sexual assault. If you are a
survivor and would like to submit
to the series, please visit
michigandaily.com/section/opinion
for more information.
Ariel Mallett is a 2014 UM alum
and works at University of Michigan’s
International Institute.