I MISS YOU DAD
The Facebook group was created by two Welsh sisters looking for a place to grieve.
I want to tell you about a meme I
saw the other day.
I’m usually pretty skeptical of
memes. For some reason, it seems
that under the shadow of the
presidential election, memes have
been co-opted into a lazy form of
political dialogue. I do not claim
to understand why Minions, the
little yellow cartoon characters,
are frequently juxtaposed with
strange,
conservative
ideologi-
cal statements. Nor do I claim to
understand why the “Pepe the
Frog” meme became a war-banner
for Donald Trump’s alt-right move-
ment. And it’s not just conserva-
tives that use viral images in such a
bizarre way. I’m sure anyone from
any political background has seen
their parents’ friends post unset-
tlingly strange memes on their
Facebook walls.
Usually I just ignore them,
because most of the time they’re
meaningless or vexing. But I saw a
meme the other day that complete-
ly and utterly stopped me in my
tracks. A girl from my hometown
of Dexter, Mich. posted an image
that was completely black, save for
white text. It read: “i miss my dad
so much.”
That was it. No Minions. No
Photoshop-derived garnishes. Just
that simple, heart-wrenching state-
ment — “i miss my dad so much.”
Suddenly, I wondered how this
young lady must have been feel-
ing when she shared the post.
What was initially bewilderment
at the fact that such a horrific and
depressing statement was shared
via a meme — a theoretically mean-
ingless, vexing meme — quickly
dissolved into empathy. We’ve all
lost a family member. This girl
just had the misfortune of losing
one of her closest, and at a way too
young age. And then she posted on
Facebook about it. I felt really bad.
Maybe she needed someone to talk
to.
To my further surprise, this
image was by no means the only
one of its kind. As I clicked through
to the image’s page of origin, sim-
ply called “I miss you Dad,” I found
dozens and dozens more posts just
like it, and thousands and thou-
sands of likes and comments, all
about deceased fathers. Every sin-
gle one.
“Was this time last year Dads
chest X-rays came back (sad
emoji),” read one comment.
“The beginning of a heartbreak-
ing journey. Wish we had had more
time together x.”
“My dad has been in heaven for 3
years now and i miss him very very
much,” reads another.
“Its very hard for me this time
of year because he was my hunt-
ing buddy, and we had a lot of good
times. I love you dad and miss you.
Thoughts and Prayers to all who
lost their dad.”
The page has 484,002 followers.
“We were very close to our dad,”
said Rachel, one of the owners of
the page. She runs it with her sister,
Michelle. “He wasn’t just our dad,
but our best friend. We could speak
to him about absolutely anything.”
Rachel, who declined to give
her last name, wrote in a Face-
book message conversation with
The Michigan Daily that she and
Michelle grew up in a little town in
Wales. Rachel works as a carer in
the UK, and has mostly grown-up
children with her spouse.
She said, the sisters were devas-
tated by their father’s early pass-
ing from cancer, following a heart
attack at the age of 39.
“When dad was diagnosed with
cancer, it felt like our world had
been blown apart,” Rachel wrote.
“My sister and I moved in with him
and cared for him throughout his
illness, until the end came … We
were with him when he passed.”
That’s
when
Rachel
and
Michelle turned to Facebook.
“In the months following dad’s
death, we searched Facebook for
others that had been through the
same as we had and took comfort
in reading different quotes,” Rachel
wrote. “We found we could relate to
a lot of the posts and saw that there
were others who had lost parents,
partners
and,
heartbreakingly,
children. We wanted to make
a page for us. A page where my
sister and I could post our feelings
through quotes and pictures.”
And so they did. What they
didn’t expect was their page to
get nearly 500,000 followers, and
dozens of comments on every post.
Along with their administrators,
they still post images that go viral
almost every day. One recent image
was a photo of an autumn-tinged
forest, with the caption: “Honestly
— I spent today missing you and
that is probably how I will spend
tomorrow, and the day after that,
and all of the days after that, too.
#missingyou.”
The
comments?
Stories
from
people,
mostly
women, from every background,
about their fathers.
A father that died in a car acci-
dent. A father that died from can-
cer. Heart attack. Truck wreck.
A baby girl dying at five weeks. A
father dying on his son’s birthday.
A woman pledging to sleep next to
her father’s metal detector.
“The pain will be with me until
it’s my turn <3.”
“My dad has been dead for 58
years.”
“I can’t even describe it.”
Though many of the images
make references to heaven, “better
places” and other places of eternal
rest, Rachel told me that she and
Michelle are not religious women.
“We respect other religions
and are aware other people might
be/are religious,” she wrote. “We
speak with and help people from
all over the world and have met
with some unusual traditions and
interesting ones too. Religion plays
a role on the page for those who
find comfort from it.”
One of Rachel and Michelle’s
administrators has of late started
a small business on the page selling
charms. After receiving requests
for charms to remember their loved
ones by, the admin began selling
metal charms to members of the
group. According to Rachel, the
initiative is a new, but successful,
venture.
But it’s not about the money for
Rachel and Michelle. For Rachel,
the true value of the page lies in
the connections she makes with
people around the world.
“There are so, so, many (stories
and) they are all touching in
different ways,” Rachel wrote.
“I’ve had a few that have made
me cry. One young man saw his
dad killed by a gang … He was
very descriptive and his words
will haunt me forever. A lady
wrote a story about her life with
her dad, her life after her dad
and then being diagnosed with
cancer herself and having to leave
her own children behind. It was
beautifully heartbreaking.
“People message me because
they feel suicidal. Others need
support or advice. I have made a
few friends on the page. Though
we don’t talk away from the page,
we chat in general and share com-
mon interests, etc. The comments
and likes on the page? Yes, the
comments have helped with my
own tragedy. Talking to others
and helping others has helped me
work through some of my pain.
The likes? I guess it’s nice to know
people like what you do, but I’ve
never been big on likes.
“Actual words of support, I find,
are better,” Rachel said.
Rachel and Michelle’s page can
be found at @Imissyoudadmemo-
rypage on Facebook.
JACOB RICH
Senior Arts Editor
How two sisters created a dialogue
about death and family via Facebook
‘I Miss You Dad’ provides forum for grieving daughters, family members
There truly could not have
a been a more wonderful
surprise for metal/hardcore
enthusiasts to wake up to on
Halloween than a new music
video from Code Orange,
announcing their upcoming
album Forever. The music
video for this title track looks
like it came straight out of
a horror movie, as it depicts
rebirth through death.
It’s no secret that Code
Orange is a band known for
abrasive tunes and violent
songwriting, and “Forever”
holds true to the status quo.
It’s exceptionally gritty,
completely absent of all color
except blood red. The video
quickly cuts between shots
of the band aggressively
jamming out and ritualistic
imagery: a circle of candles, a
bucket of blood and figures in
cloaks. It’s the perfect video
for the Halloween season and
horror fans, and additionally
honors the band’s past.
The ritual contains a lot
of symbolism about the
band’s direction with the
new album. Inside the
candle circle, the words “It’s
Almost Forever” are spelled.
Figures in faceless red suits
violently destroy a crown
with hammers. A girl rises
from the bucket of blood. In
closing the video, a body bag
is dragged outside and cut
open, revealing “I Am King”
engraved on the victim’s
forehead, which is the title
(and literally the album art) of
their previous album.
Code Orange has effectively
set the stage for the January
release of Forever with their
new video, and have left fans
eager for what’s to come in
the next few months. It’s
almost forever, and Code
Orange doesn’t care if you’re
ready or not.
- DOMINIC POLSINELLI
MUSIC VIDEO REVIEW
A
“Forever”
Code Orange
FILM INTERVIEW
“What happened is that the
world changed in the last 18
months,” said Abby Ginzberg, the
co-director and co-producer of
the new documentary, “Agent of
Change,” in a recent phone inter-
view. “Between Black Lives Mat-
ter and college campuses really
reacting and having their own
demonstrations, it became anoth-
er activist moment. It connected
the story we were telling to the
present, and it totally transformed
the film.”
The documentary “Agents of
Change” looks at the untold story
of the struggle for a more mean-
ingful education for Black students
on college campuses nationwide
in the late 1960s. Ginzberg and
her co-director and co-producer,
Frank Dawson, were on the cam-
pus of Cornell University during a
pivotal moment in the movement
to expose racism in higher educa-
tion — a 1969 takeover of a cam-
pus building by Black students in
protest of recent discriminatory
events. They joined forces to cre-
ate a film documenting the expe-
riences they had and witnessed
during the demonstrations.
“The film’s characters were
caught at the crossroads of the civil
rights, Black power and anti-Viet-
nam war movements at a pivotal
time in America’s history,” Ginz-
berg said. “Today, over 45 years
later, many of the same demands
are surfacing in campus protests
across the country, revealing how
much work remains to be done.”
Ginzberg asserted that the
experiences of the characters in
the film were not unique to Cor-
nell or San Francisco State Uni-
versity — demonstrations and
demands for more Black students
and professors took place at col-
leges across the country. She and
Dawson felt the need to tell the
story through the film because of
its lack of representation in the
media and in history as a whole.
“I don’t know why the story
hadn’t been told before,” Ginz-
berg said. “Each generation finds
something in the generation that
preceded it that needs to be told,
and it hasn’t been told as well as it
should have. There are blackouts
throughout incredible parts of
American history. I think this is
just one example of it.”
The film aims to inspire its
collegiate audiences to look at
the representation of their own
schools and consider the racial
dynamics of the classrooms and
the dearth of spaces for people of
color. Ginzberg said she thinks the
film especially has the potential
to create open dialogue because
of the partnership of herself and
Dawson, as a white woman and a
Black man.
“We reflect different aspects of
what the struggle was like, at this
case in Cornell. The reason San
Francisco State and Cornell were
successful was that, over time,
they were supported by a majority
of white students,” Ginzberg said.
“Down the road, there was an alli-
ance between the majority of the
white students and the demands
of the Black students. That story
is told visually in the film, and I
think that’s an important aspect
to this.”
The film’s ability to start a con-
versation after it’s over is also con-
tingent on the group of people.
Ginzberg emphasized the neces-
sity to have both Black and white
students, faculty and adminis-
trators committed to the issue to
have a productive dialogue and
facilitate change on a larger scale.
“We want all people who care
about issues of race on campus.
It’s been important that we have
representations from across the
campus present at every screen-
ing because the film evokes a
dialogue,” Ginzberg said. “We’re
hopeful that the film begins a dia-
logue that can continue long after
the film screening is over. The
film is designed to link up with
the struggles that are taking place
today, even though on each cam-
pus, it’s a different story.”
Director talks activism
REBECCA LERNER
Daily Film Editor
‘Agents of Change’ explores racism on college campuses
4B — Thursday, November 3, 2016
the b-side
The Michigan Daily — michigandaily.com
BEST CONCERT EVER
In this new miniseries, Daily
Music Writers reminisce on the
best live show they ever saw.
If I had asked 14-year-old me
what I saw myself doing the day
before graduation, my younger
self would probably have thought
I’d be burning all of my homework
assignments or doing something
equally exhilaratingly destruc-
tive. Instead, I’m sitting on the
sun-baked pavement outside of St.
Andrews Hall in Detroit, trying
to keep the loose shards of grav-
el scattered about from slowly
migrating up my shorts.
The exterior of the building is
worn, slightly graffitied, infused
with the ghosts of concerts past,
as if the furious energies of those
countless nights have bled straight
through the walls of the hall. I’m
sweaty and hungry, but the antici-
pation pumping through my veins
fuels me, keeping my limbs rest-
less and my mood bright.
It starts raining 30 minutes
before doors open. A few lucky
people take cover under the
awnings that poke out from the
building next door, but most of us
are vulnerable, left to conquer the
weather with nothing but the con-
tents of our bags.
When I finally inch into the
hall, the air conditioning washes
over me like a calm, fresh wave.
I find myself shivering uncon-
trollably, partially because of the
excitement and partially because
of the rain that has dampened
my head and back. I head straight
for the front, delving deeper into
the mesmerizing fog and danc-
ing lights with each step. I end up
right at the barricade, mere feet
away from the edge of the stage.
People mill around, bodies com-
pacting closer and closer together
with each consecutive opening
act.
The wait is long, but PVRIS
finally comes onstage in a flurry
of sound and flashing light, diving
into “Smoke” to lead off the night.
I’ve listened to their album, White
Noise, countless times, but never
like this, with the world feeling
like it’s exploding apart and the
decibels roaring so loudly that my
very bones vibrate. Lynn Gunn’s
singing isn’t perfectly polished
the way it is on studio recordings,
but the tiny imperfections and
spontaneous embellishments she
adds to the songs develop them
into entirely new works of art. I
scream along as loudly as I can,
and when my throat starts to feel
hoarse, I double my volume.
In between songs she speaks to
us, her voice warm and sweet, a
clear contrast to the vivid energy
of the music. She orders us to jump
and we do, flashing brightly as the
lights onstage cheer us on. The
crowd becomes one boisterous,
thrashing organism and I feel as if
my body cannot possibly contain
all of the life I’m experiencing.
My favorite part of the night
is right at the last song, when she
leaps down from the stage and
walks through the pit, along the
boundary that divides the hall
between her domain and ours.
Her voice grows ever powerful as
she stalks along the line, buoyed
by the watchful gazes of the burly
security guards that stand vigi-
lantly within arms reach and the
force of our fevered screaming.
She reaches out for us and we
reach back, still awestruck that
this lioness is here in the flesh.
Her hands are small, warm and
somehow dry despite the heat and
the effort she’s putting into the
performance.
The concert ends far too
abruptly; they finish with their
most well-known song, then cata-
pult off the stage with a bang. We
pour out of the space in a mess of
bodies, and I find myself back at
the same spot of pavement, slight-
ly unsteady on my feet. When
people ask me about my favorite
band, I tell them about the bass,
the drums and Lynn’s wonderful
voice, but I never mention the aca-
demic, personal or mental strug-
gles that PVRIS has helped me
through. The night leaves me bit-
tersweetly nostalgic yet hopefully
euphoric, ready to face college and
all that the next year will bring.
SAMANTHA LU
For the Daily
The explosive live energy of PVRIS