When I was five, I hated broccoli. I would scream
and choke and run away for fear that I would have to eat
broccoli. Cauliflower I would eat, sometimes, if my dad
melted enough cheese on top. Brussel sprouts? Never.
These reactions to food are similar to how I believe a lot
of college students feel about cooking. No judgement, by the
way. I would much rather dump a can of soup into a pot and
heat it up than roast a chicken and use the leftovers to make
my own homemade broth. To some, students will always be
stuck in a Campbell’s soup frame of mind, and that’s totally
fine. But, for me at least, my taste buds have been affected by
a mixture of maturation and already decreasing metabolism
and I now crave a grilled salmon over fish sticks.
(That comparison was mostly made for effect rather than
truth. I actually sincerely dislike fish sticks and have not
had one since elementary school. I do, however, sincerely
love salmon.)
I have always been a decent “chef.” My parents worked
a lot growing up, and so I had plenty of opportunities
to start experimenting in the kitchen by myself from a
young age. My mom taught me fractions using measuring
cups for baking in kindergarten, making me feel right at
home behind the stove when I began to move from baking
brownies to roasting a chicken. Since the beginning of
high school, my mom and dad would offhandedly describe
what they were doing when making dishes such as chicken
cacciatore, brisket, tilapia with asparagus, etc. So I’m very
confident in saying that when I cook, the food comes out to
an edible degree.
So, the problem in college isn’t that I prefer pizza rolls to a
homemade whole-wheat crust margherita pizza garnished
with fresh basil. It’s that there isn’t enough time in the day
to spend creating food compared to just heating it up. To
me, this is the “pizza-roll aesthetic,” in which it is almost
fashionable to use the kitchen as an oversized microwave
in college.
Don’t confuse a want for already prepared foods as being
lazy. I maintain an A GPA average, am the president of a pre-
law sorority, secretary of a law society, work in four major
roles at the Daily (columnist, women’s basketball beat writer,
sports night editor and recruitment chair) and hold a job
as a barista at a coffee shop. When I come home at the end
of the day, I am looking for something that only requires
me to stand up for no longer than 10 minutes. Past that
threshold, I refuse to do anything but cuddle in my bed
and watch Netflix. Judging by my roommates and friends,
that sentiment is shared by a lot of my peers — sans the
occasional spurt of culinary energy and motivation.
But as senior year wears on, I’m more aware of the fact
that when I leave college I will no longer feel the “pizza-
roll aesthetic” will apply to my life. Or rather, I will feel
unaccomplished if it does apply. For me, I’m capable of
more. I’m capable of a “Julia-Child aesthetic.” A lot of that,
though, begins with grocery shopping and trying new
things. I’m not suggesting to seniors that we immediately
replace our beloved pizza rolls with intimidating dishes
like Thai-style meatballs and roasted butternut squash. I
am suggesting that we start to strive to make those dishes
our goal, while evolving pizza rolls into an indulgent 2
a.m. snack.
2B
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Design Editor:
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Photo Editor:
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Creative Director:
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the statement
Wednesday, November 2, 2016 / The Statement
How To: Pizza Rolls and Other Thoughts
B Y S Y LVA N N A G R O S S
the
tangent
ZOEY HOLMSTROM/Daily
T H O U G H T B U B B L E : HALLOWEEN
“My second costume was an impromptu decision
because someone was selling a halo on the Ladies
of U of M Facebook page and my friend and I did a
devil/ angel combined costume. This was probably
one of my best Halloweens because of how easy it
was to make costumes.”
– LSA senior Alexandra Meilhac
I’m 20 years old now. I’ve had skewered octopus in Japan,
alligator in New Orleans, pig cheek in Spain, cacti in New
Mexico and lobster ice cream in Cape Cod — and I still
refuse to eat broccoli. I still dislike cauliflower. But I will
now make, and then eat, brussel sprouts if they’re roasted
to the point of being charred crisps with no semblance of
green left.
So, I guess that’s me maturing.
How to: Grocery shop and not buy pizza rolls
1. Coupon AF
2. Get the whole-wheat bread
3. Frozen vegetables? Canned vegetables? Girl.
4. If you’re working with a budget, get the generic brand
5. It actually tastes just as good, Buzzfeed Video has
proven this
6. Don’t overbuy; if you see something you might use
maybe, don’t get it
7. Chips and salsa are a staple and/or hummus and pita
8. Buy that instead of your next bag of potato chips
9. Caveat: If you are planning on engaging in nighttime
fun, make sure your drunchies are satiated at home so you
don’t feel the need to go out and spend money at 2 a.m.
10. If you can’t cook, no worries; practice makes perfect
11. Food is love, food is life
12. Get all the free samples
ILLUSTRATION BY EMILIE FARRUGIA