When I was five, I hated broccoli. I would scream 

and choke and run away for fear that I would have to eat 
broccoli. Cauliflower I would eat, sometimes, if my dad 
melted enough cheese on top. Brussel sprouts? Never.

These reactions to food are similar to how I believe a lot 

of college students feel about cooking. No judgement, by the 
way. I would much rather dump a can of soup into a pot and 
heat it up than roast a chicken and use the leftovers to make 
my own homemade broth. To some, students will always be 
stuck in a Campbell’s soup frame of mind, and that’s totally 
fine. But, for me at least, my taste buds have been affected by 
a mixture of maturation and already decreasing metabolism 
and I now crave a grilled salmon over fish sticks.

(That comparison was mostly made for effect rather than 

truth. I actually sincerely dislike fish sticks and have not 
had one since elementary school. I do, however, sincerely 
love salmon.)

I have always been a decent “chef.” My parents worked 

a lot growing up, and so I had plenty of opportunities 
to start experimenting in the kitchen by myself from a 

young age. My mom taught me fractions using measuring 
cups for baking in kindergarten, making me feel right at 
home behind the stove when I began to move from baking 
brownies to roasting a chicken. Since the beginning of 
high school, my mom and dad would offhandedly describe 
what they were doing when making dishes such as chicken 
cacciatore, brisket, tilapia with asparagus, etc. So I’m very 
confident in saying that when I cook, the food comes out to 
an edible degree.

So, the problem in college isn’t that I prefer pizza rolls to a 

homemade whole-wheat crust margherita pizza garnished 
with fresh basil. It’s that there isn’t enough time in the day 
to spend creating food compared to just heating it up. To 
me, this is the “pizza-roll aesthetic,” in which it is almost 
fashionable to use the kitchen as an oversized microwave 
in college.

Don’t confuse a want for already prepared foods as being 

lazy. I maintain an A GPA average, am the president of a pre-
law sorority, secretary of a law society, work in four major 
roles at the Daily (columnist, women’s basketball beat writer, 

sports night editor and recruitment chair) and hold a job 
as a barista at a coffee shop. When I come home at the end 
of the day, I am looking for something that only requires 
me to stand up for no longer than 10 minutes. Past that 
threshold, I refuse to do anything but cuddle in my bed 
and watch Netflix. Judging by my roommates and friends, 
that sentiment is shared by a lot of my peers — sans the 
occasional spurt of culinary energy and motivation.

But as senior year wears on, I’m more aware of the fact 

that when I leave college I will no longer feel the “pizza-
roll aesthetic” will apply to my life. Or rather, I will feel 
unaccomplished if it does apply. For me, I’m capable of 
more. I’m capable of a “Julia-Child aesthetic.” A lot of that, 
though, begins with grocery shopping and trying new 
things. I’m not suggesting to seniors that we immediately 
replace our beloved pizza rolls with intimidating dishes 
like Thai-style meatballs and roasted butternut squash. I 
am suggesting that we start to strive to make those dishes 
our goal, while evolving pizza rolls into an indulgent 2 
a.m. snack.

2B

Magazine Editor:

Karl Williams

Deputy Editors:

Nabeel Chollampat 

Lara Moehlman

Design Editor:

Shane Achenbach

Photo Editor:

Zoey Holmstrom

Creative Director:

Emilie Farrugia

Editor in Chief:

Shoham Geva

Managing Editor:

Laura Schinagle

Copy Editors:

Emily Campbell

Alexis Nowicki

Taylor Grandinetti

the statement

Wednesday, November 2, 2016 / The Statement

How To: Pizza Rolls and Other Thoughts 
B Y S Y LVA N N A G R O S S

the
tangent

ZOEY HOLMSTROM/Daily

T H O U G H T B U B B L E : HALLOWEEN

“My second costume was an impromptu decision 

because someone was selling a halo on the Ladies 

of U of M Facebook page and my friend and I did a 

devil/ angel combined costume. This was probably 

one of my best Halloweens because of how easy it 

was to make costumes.”

– LSA senior Alexandra Meilhac

I’m 20 years old now. I’ve had skewered octopus in Japan, 

alligator in New Orleans, pig cheek in Spain, cacti in New 
Mexico and lobster ice cream in Cape Cod — and I still 
refuse to eat broccoli. I still dislike cauliflower. But I will 
now make, and then eat, brussel sprouts if they’re roasted 
to the point of being charred crisps with no semblance of 
green left.

So, I guess that’s me maturing.
How to: Grocery shop and not buy pizza rolls
1. Coupon AF
2. Get the whole-wheat bread
3. Frozen vegetables? Canned vegetables? Girl.
4. If you’re working with a budget, get the generic brand
5. It actually tastes just as good, Buzzfeed Video has 

proven this

6. Don’t overbuy; if you see something you might use 

maybe, don’t get it

7. Chips and salsa are a staple and/or hummus and pita
8. Buy that instead of your next bag of potato chips
9. Caveat: If you are planning on engaging in nighttime 

fun, make sure your drunchies are satiated at home so you 
don’t feel the need to go out and spend money at 2 a.m.

10. If you can’t cook, no worries; practice makes perfect
11. Food is love, food is life
12. Get all the free samples

ILLUSTRATION BY EMILIE FARRUGIA

