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Magazine Editor:

Karl Williams

Deputy Editors:

Nabeel Chollampat 

Lara Moehlman

Design Editor:

Shane Achenbach

Photo Editor:

Zoey Holmstrom

Creative Director:

Emilie Farrugia

Editor in Chief:

Shoham Geva

Managing Editor:

Laura Schinagle

Copy Editors:

Emily Campbell

Alexis Nowicki

Taylor Grandinetti

the statement

Wednesday, October 19, 2016 / The Statement

How To: Achieving Employment
B Y S Y LVA N N A G R O S S

the
tangent

ZOEY HOLMSTROM/Daily

T H O U G H T B U B B L E : PR ID E

“The last time I felt most proud would probably 

be about a month ago, when a patient that I was 

working with in the hospital for over a month, 

stood up and walked for the first time in three 

years. I felt proud and humble that I was able to be 

there to be apart of this amazing milestone for him 

and be able to see the joy that radiated from his 

face. It made me radiate with joy.”

– Nursing junior Alexis Valenciano

B

eing a senior in college just means you’re aca-
demically eligible to not take classes anymore 
and be given a piece of paper that says you’re 

somewhat qualified to work in some capacity in the pro-
fessional world. I made it to that point in three years, oth-
ers may take five or even more. And that’s OK. Because at 
the end of the day every senior, whether you are 20 or 65, 
now has to make that next step.

I had my first official job interview today. Rather, I had 

my first scheduled first official job interview today that 
my interviewer forgot about and had to reschedule. So the 
takeaway from that is that I am capable of remembering 
dates and times.

The job is nothing special; it’s a glorified volunteer posi-

tion canvassing neighborhoods to lobby congressmen to 
pass environmental-friendly laws. But, it’s a job nonethe-
less. A job related in some way to my hopeful career path 
as an environmental lawyer.

A job I feel wholly unqualified for, sans my ability to 

remember appointments.

I am an international studies major, and a double minor 

in oceanography and history of art, essentially the quint-
essential liberal arts student. I can spout off random infor-
mation about the “Golden Age” of Dutch art, or the speed 
of a wave or political uprisings in sub-Saharan Africa. 
Without making this my CV, I have tried to steer the class-
es I take to be oriented to human right and environmental 
policy.

But the reality is I will never feel qualified to be an adult 

in an adult job when I graduate. And that’s fine. From the 
numerous sitcoms and romantic comedies I have exten-
sively researched for the sole purpose of this statement. 
Almost every adult feels that way too. And that helps me to 
have the confidence to apply to these positions and to try 
to convince a recruitment manager that despite my lack 

of experience and qualifications for the job, I am a 

safe investment.

If nothing else, at least I can say I am an expe-

rienced and skilled verbal and written commu-
nicator, #RushTheMichiganDaily. 

 my post-graduation plans, I still have confi-

dence. And that’s important. How can you sell your-
self and your skills to someone without believing 
that you are capable for the job you are applying 

for?

It 
sounds hard, I know. Confidence 
is hard to achieve especially 
when we are bombarded daily 
with reminders of how lacklus-
ter we are as people between 
social media and advertising 
and just comparing ourselves to 
peers. But confidence is plausible 

to achieve. You, we and I are capable 

young adults who are graduating from the 

best public university in the world. That counts 

for something.
As senior year goes on, I’m finding how irrelevant feel-

ing inadequate for a job is. You are adequate, you are able, 
you are as much of a good applicant as the next unqualified 
inexperienced college graduate. With that being said, don’t 
study English as an undergrad and expect to be employed 
as a computer analyst for JP Morgan with a starting salary 
of $80,000.

How to apply to jobs:

1. Apply to as many jobs as you feel comfortable with.
2. Shed a tear for every hour spent on writing cover 

letters.

3. Learn to hate cover letters with a fiery passion.
4. DO NOT REUSE COVER LETTERS, you will 

inevitably fail and use the wrong cover letter for the 
wrong company.

5. You will not get hired if you do this.
6. I know this.
7. Remember, you will eventually get hired.
8. Eat lots of food; getting rejected will make you 

hungry.

9. Talk to others about your acceptances and 

rejections; talking it out will always destress you to 
some extent

10. Blast “I Will Survive” by Gloria Gaynor.
11. Because believe it or not, you will survive and 

make it in the adult world.

