I can already hear my sister’s 

response to this column: “WE GET 
IT SYLVANNA, YOU’RE GRADU-
ATING EARLY.”

My younger sister, Phoebe, is 

probably happy I started off with a 
blatant acceptance of how humble-
brag this space can get. So there you 
go, Phoebe. This is my public accep-
tance that I, Sylvanna Leah Gross, 
am kind of an asshole.

Moving forward.
This space is meant to be a com-

ment on how every senior is in this 
weird limbo of almost having to 
be an adult with taxes and mort-
gages while still forgetting that you 
should be taking vitamins every 
day, not just when you remember 
you should be taking them. It’s 
dedicated to seniors who feel like 
they’re occupying a liminal space 
where they can’t be considered 
full-blown adults yet, but are being 
forced to make very adult decisions. 
It’s for people like me, who are 
scared to move forward.

Being scared isn’t a bad thing. 

It’s a natural response to going into 
the unknown. It’s what you should 
be when something happens that 
you’re not familiar with. From my 
basic understanding of the sciences, 
it’s a biological response. So why are 
seniors so scared of being scared?

For me, it’s the fact that for the 

first time there is no absolute for-
mula for what we have to do. Grow-
ing up, I knew the formula that my 
teachers pounded into my head: 
high school, college, job. But it was 
relatively easy to make the jump 

from high school to college. One 
quick application, a couple of rejec-
tions and a couple of acceptances 
and one decision to the best public 
university in the world.

But now, the jump isn’t as clear-

cut. I could get a job. Or I could get 
a master’s degree or go into a doc-
torate program or earn a fellowship 
or go into an internship or take time 
off and travel (this last option is 
not supported by my bank account, 
unfortunately).

I’m the type of person who always 

had a plan. But for the first time in 
my life, I have no clue what my next 
step will be. I know I want to go 
to law school, but I also know I’m 
not ready yet for that step. Because 
once I go, I have to get a job. And 
once I get a job, that’s my life.

I completely understand that I 

am making this process feel way too 
black and white. Of course there are 
alternative ways of living your life, 
and there are many reasons why I 
am being insensitive to how I had 
the privilege of going to college and 
so am not in the place to complain. 
But, I am complaining. Because I’m 
scared and I know a lot of you are too.

So here’s some tips on relaxing 

and being less scared for at least 10 
minutes.

1. You are not alone
2. It will feel like you are alone 

but let me repeat, YOU ARE NOT 
ALONE

3. But maybe, find yourself a 

quiet place and be alone physically

4. Put on your relaxing music 

(U2 or some Jason Mraz puts me in 

a good mood)

5. Drink a glass of water
6. Lay in your bed
7. Put your phone down and 

turn on “Do not disturb”

8. Just listen (it is very possible 

you might mistake this as a nap, it is 
very important you do not mistake 
this as a nap)

9. Think about your mom, or 

dad, or siblings, or significant other 
or any person who stands beside 
you no matter what

10. If you want to pass on step 8 

for whatever personal matter, think 
about cute cuddly puppies or think 
of the funniest memory you have

11. Remember, you are not alone.

2B

Magazine Editor:

Karl Williams

Deputy Editors:

Nabeel Chollampat 

Lara Moehlman

Design Editor:

Shane Achenbach

Photo Editor:

Zoey Holmstrom

Creative Director:

Emilie Farrugia

Editor in Chief:

Shoham Geva

Managing Editor:

Laura Schinagle

Copy Editors:

Emily Campbell

Alexis Nowicki

Taylor Grandinetti

the statement

Wednesday, September 28, 2016 / The Statement

How To: An Incomplete Guide to Getting a College Degree 
B Y S Y LVA N N A G R O S S

the
tangent

EMILIE FARRUGIA/DAILY

T H O U G H T B U B B L E : D EBAT E S

“I’ve been thinking about Andy Warhol’s idea of 

repetition in his work. His idea is that with the 

repetition of an image, that image is then deflated 

of meaning. I disagree with Warhol’s notion as 

of late because the more I see the presidential 

candidates ,the less numb I feel about them. 

Watching the debate was disturbing on many 

levels. What was even more disturbing was seeing 

everyone laugh about it. People can laugh all they 

want, but one of those two people will be leading 

our country very soon.”

– Art & Design Senior Benjamin Leigh