3B Wednesday, September 21, 2016 / The Statement S ometimes I call myself a “sonic youth.” It’s become a bit of a pet name this first month of school — a pep name, if you will — that reminds me I am still a crisp young gun, traipsing the sunny streets of Ann Arbor with as much musicality as possible. But also, I’ve been into Sonic Youth lately. Teenage Riot – Sonic Youth “Yeah, you’re it,” Kim Gordon begins the song whispering, in that weird I’m- Kermit-the-Frog-but-also-your-fantasy tone of voice — hers, and only hers. And somehow, I can’t help but believe her; I could be walking down the street, feel- ing the farthest thing from “it,” yet she always reassures me that I am. A sonic youth, full of vitae and a healthy bal- ance of useful and useless knowledge, I am. Gordon doesn’t know any of this, of course, but if she did I’d like to think she’d approve and start a teenage riot with me. Bulls on Parade – Rage Against The Machine At my core, in the teeny tiny crevice of my heart noir, I’ve always been in love with rock music. Ever since I learned to listen, I’ve had this insatiable craving for it, two ears that perk up like an eager Ger- man Shepard’s at the slightest strum of a Fender. Many humans, like Gordon, don’t know this about me — I have a generally perky demeanor, so when I glow up at the mention of Rage Against the Machine in public, forced smiles of latent confusion tend to manifest. What Ever Happened? – The Strokes But I listen on, as I always have. In psychology, there’s this thing called a flashbulb memory: a moment from the storage bin of your life you remember in sharp detail — the smells, the sounds, what you did, what you said. The only flashbulb memory I can summon involves tiny Melina nuzzled on her black leather living room couch circa 2006, watching “Marie Antoinette” for the first time and hearing The Strokes’ “What Ever Hap- pened?” play during a pivotal scene. I felt instantly more alive when Julian Casa- blancas wailed, when the guitar pounced forward. “This is everything my ears have been looking for” is the feeling I had. “This is what I like.” Some Girls – The Rolling Stones I still feel like this when I listen to any kind of rock. Almost love-struck, I feel in-tune to my surroundings and myself simultaneously. All of my senses are heightened by that harmony, and my mental state is mollified — where some girls need a kiss, I need Mick Jagger tell- ing me I’m under his thumb. Alas, at the risk of veering into un-punk, Parmesan cheese territory: I feel ready to take on the world when I’m plugged in, no matter the circumstance. And invincibility is a hell of a drug. Lately — with new classes, work, 5,000 readings, the nagging thought of the future and the puzzles of the past nipping at my heels — I have needed a dose of it. Rock injects me. It reminds me that I can do it. I don’t need yoga (well, maybe) and I don’t need to whine about it. Instead, I can listen to the great musical trailblazers of yesteryear whine about it and squash my own silly fears along the way. That’s what a sonic youth would do. So, lately, when I step out of my apart- ment building every morning, I’ve got the Misfits crawling into my eardrums. The fresh air is always a little jarring, and the door is always a little harder to push open than anticipated, but I’ll be OK. Hell, I’ll thrive. Because “I ain’t no goddamn son of a bitch. You better think about it, baby.” Life is a Mixtape: Some Girls Like Rock B Y M E L I N A G L U S A C “I would not be unhappy if I were the last cisgender male to play a female transgender on television.” — JEFFREY TAMBOR, who won the Emmy for Lead Actor in a Comedy Series for “Transparent.” on the record: emmy awards 2016 “Asian parents out there, if you could just do me a favor: if just a couple of you can get your kids cameras instead of violins, we’ll be all good.” —ALAN YANG, who won the Emmy for Writing for a Comedy Series for the “Parents” episode of “Master of None.” “I, along with the rest of the world, had been superficial in my judgment, and I’m glad that I’m able to stand here and say, ‘I’m sorry.’” —SARAH PAULSON, who won the Emmy for Lead Actress in a Limited Series for portraying Marcia Clark on “The People vs. O.J. Simpson.” ILLUSTRATIONS BY EMILIE FARRUGIA COVER DESIGN BY SHANE ACHENBACH “I feel so lucky to be on a show that puts women in the center.” —TATIANA MASLANY, who won the Emmy for Lead Actress in a Drama Series for “Orphan Black.” “I haven’t alaways been a great man, but I make an amazing woman.” —Louie Anderson, who won the Emmy for Best Supporting Actor in a Comedy Series for his portrayal of a mother in “Baskets.” “I would like to dedicate this to my father, who passed away on Friday. And I’m so glad that he liked “Veep,” because his opinion was the one that really mattered.” — Julia Louis-Dreyfus, who won the Emmy for Best Actress in a Comedy Series for “Veep.”