F
ather’s Day always sneaks
up on me. I’ll be studying
or watching TV, and all of
a
sudden
an
ad will appear,
always saying
something
like
“Here’s
the best gift you can get for your
dad” or something. The pang that
always comes along with seeing
stuff father-related doesn’t sting
as much as it once did — I’m
usually able to move on with my
day without any issue. I’ve learned
that this type of pain isn’t going
away, but I’ve also learned how to
live with it.
Let me explain: the summer
before my first year of high school,
my father passed away from
pancreatic cancer. This period
of time, the time that my father
was sick and dying, has strongly
affected my outlook on life and
has defined me as a person. I
honestly couldn’t tell you what
I would be like if my dad were
still alive — perhaps less serious,
less empathetic, more carefree.
In all honesty, the traits that I
have gained since my father’s
passing are some of the ones that
I value the most. I try not to think
about what life would be like if
my dad were still alive — he’s
not coming back and any time
spent wondering is, to me at least,
counter-productive. I’ve come to
accept his death — I’m no longer
angry about it, and I’ve stopped
claiming that the world is unfair.
I’m even pretty good at stopping
myself
from
getting
jealous
at my friends who have good
relationships with their fathers,
because hey, why shouldn’t they
be able to enjoy what I’m not able
to? This is the main reason why
I try not to have a problem with
Father’s Day.
Still, Father’s Day presents an
awkward problem for me and my
family. Usually, around Father’s
Day, people will politely ask one
another what they plan on doing
to celebrate. I’ll usually answer
something like “I’ll give my
grandpa a call” or “I’m visiting
my uncle.” A lot of the time, the
person asking the question will
accept my answer. Some of the
time, the person asking will look
a little confused, as if I hadn’t
answered the question correctly,
but won’t continue with any more
inquisition. Rarely, the person
asking will bring up the question
“Why aren’t you spending any
time with your father?” which
usually starts an uncomfortable
but short conversation about how
my father passed away — it was
cancer, thank you for your apology.
It’s not that I don’t like talking
about my father — in all honesty,
I enjoy talking about him. He was
an interesting guy and a loving
dad, and he has given me a lot of
good stories. And the profound
effect that his death has had on
my life and personality means that
someone can’t truly understand
me until they understand what
I have gone through. So in daily
life, I don’t really try to avoid the
topic of my father’s death. Yeah, I
guess it sometimes makes people
uncomfortable, but I’d rather talk
about it on my own terms instead
of having others ask me about it.
So
why
does
being
asked
about Father’s Day make me
uncomfortable?
I
guess
it’s
because a part of me is always
expecting someone to ask, “So why
aren’t you spending any time with
your father?” Though, admittedly,
this only happens rarely, I still
feel the sting, as if the fact that
my father has passed meant that
I can no longer celebrate Father’s
Day the ways it’s supposed to
be celebrated. Commercials and
advertisements
that
support
the heteronuclear family only
work to exacerbate this feeling.
This belief that one must have a
father to celebrate Father’s Day
is inherently problematic. For
14 years of my life, I was lucky
enough to have had a father, but
others have been blessed with
two parents of a same gender, a
single parent, grandparents, along
with their own variations of what
family means. Where are the days
for these types of parents and
these types of families?
I’m not suggesting that we
change the name of Father’s
Day, and I’m not asking for those
with fathers that they have good
relationships with to start feeling
guilty. I just wish that Father’s Day
was a bit more flexible. People need
to stop assuming that everyone
has a father or that everyone has a
good relationship with their father.
Father’s Day shouldn’t exclusively
be about the man whose genetics
you share — it should be about the
masculine people in your life who
have positively affected you.
This past Sunday, my sister
and I went to a restaurant in Ann
Arbor that we believe our father
would have liked, and we talked
and reminisced about our father.
After, I gave my grandpa and one of
my uncles a call to thank them for
all that they have done for me. My
sister and I aren’t the only people
who didn’t celebrate Father’s Day
in the traditional sense — people
all over celebrated this day in the
way that best corresponds to the
masculine figure in their life. I
hope that we all remain sensitive
to this, and that we don’t forget
that Father’s Day, and any other
day dedicated to family, is what we
make of it.
—Elena Hubbell can be reached
at elepearl@umich.edu.
4
Thursday, June 23, 2016
The Michigan Daily — michigandaily.com
OPINION
LARA MOEHLMAN
EDITOR IN CHIEF
JEREMY KAPLAN
EDITORIAL PAGE EDITOR
BRADLEY WHIPPLE
MANAGING EDITOR
420 Maynard St.
Ann Arbor, MI 48109
tothedaily@michigandaily.com
Edited and managed by students at
the University of Michigan since 1890.
Prioritizing legalization
W
hen
then-Senator
Barack
Obama
was
evaluating a potential
run
for
the
presidency
in
2006,
he
was asked if
he’d
smoked
marijuana.
His
response
was,
“When I was young, I inhaled
frequently. That was the point (of
smoking).” He was praised for his
candor, and the statement drew
a sharp contrast between former
President Bill Clinton’s waffling
when he described having smoked
marijuana once but not having
inhaled.
There is also a video recording
of former California Governor
Arnold Schwarzenegger smoking
marijuana and proudly stating he
had also inhaled.
What was not discussed was how
either of these politicians’ careers
would have virtually ended had
they been caught for doing what
they admitted to doing.
In 2014, law enforcement across
this
country
arrested
700,993
people
for
marijuana-related
incidents. Of those 700,993, 88
percent of them were for possession
of marijuana.
There is a certain irony in
incarcerating
Americans
for
actions that the highest level of civil
servants have admitted to doing.
Furthermore, there is a tremendous
financial, social and economic cost
to incarcerating Americans for
possession of marijuana (among
other non-violent drug offences).
In his final year in office,
President Obama should take steps
that work toward the legalization of
marijuana, starting with a mandate
that the federal government will
refuse to fund incarcerations for
marijuana-related crimes. Doing so
will save precious tax dollars, give
correctional officers much needed
bandwidth to pursue violent crimes,
and siphon money away from black
markets and into the coiffeurs of a
federal government that has run
a large deficit for the past several
decades.
According to the Urban Institute
Justice Policy Center, we spend an
average of $21,006 per person per
year to incarcerate someone in a
minimum-security prison in the
United States. With total U.S. debt
at more than $19 trillion, this does
not feel like money well-spent.
The other side of the economic
cost is the toll that incarceration has
on the labor force. It not only takes
years away from people’s working
lives, but it teaches this population
how to become better criminals.
Better-trained
criminals
mean
more resources will be siphoned
away from police departments as
well.
Keeping people out of the
correctional system for non-violent
drug offenses is another benefit
of marijuana legalization. In an
interview in Vice with Jeff Smith
— a professor in urban policy at
the Milano School of International
Affairs, Management, and Urban
Policy in New York — and a former
inmate, they recounted how jails
can be a dehumanizing place filled
with rape and how many prisons
are permissive of rape among the
inmates. Furthermore, according
to Smith, “In prison, your bonds
with
law-abiding
society
are
being broken down and your bond
with other criminals is being
strengthened.” The human cost of
the correctional system is felt when
inmates’ relationships to society
get eroded and as these individuals
exit prison, they struggle to find
housing, job opportunities and
rehabilitation.
Legalizing marijuana has the
potential to bring in millions
of dollars in tax revenue. As of
February
2015,
Colorado
has
generated over $53 million in
tax revenue, which was short of
estimates that the measure would
bring in more than $70 million in
the first year.
As of October 2015, 58 percent
of
Americans
back
marijuana
legalization, up from 36 percent in
2003. In Michigan, the necessary
number of signatures (320,000)
were gathered, but a recent rule
change
means
that
marijuana
legalization will probably not be on
the ballot in November.
Meanwhile,
marijuana
gets
dismissed in national politics as
an issue for stoners, with many
politicians putting it low on their
priority
list.
President
Obama
said that marijuana legalization
is not one of his top priorities
for 2016. However, there are few
issues
where
executive
action
has the immediate potential to
save tens of billions of dollars and
keep hundreds of thousands of
non-violent offenders out of jail.
Marijuana is one of those issues,
and we should all care more about
legalization.
—Shawn Danino can be
reached at danino@umich.edu
Father’s Day without a father
ELENA
HUBBELL
SHAWN
DANINO