A
re you familiar with the feeling of talking to
someone you know isn’t really listening? I imag-
ine it draws strong resemblances to speaking to
a robot: it nods, it provides answers, but it’s incapable of
really hearing, or caring, about what you have to say. I
find myself personally frustrated when, in the middle of
a conversation, the person I’m talking to interrupts with
a story about him or herself. Sadly, I’ve noticed this gen-
eral tendency in my own behavior. Afterward, I think
to myself: “Am I talking simply to counter with my own
experiences, or am I genuinely interested in what this
person has to share?”
In a 2014 article written by Harvard Business Prof.
James Heskett, several professionals suggest the art
of listening is gradually facing extinction. One scholar
offers that a generation constantly scrolling through
its own Twitter and Instagram feed has inevitably lost
interest in engaging with those outside its realm of inter-
ests and mutual friends. Society now creates virtual net-
works based on whom and what it wants to see — so why
bother listening to everyone else?
Others experts suggest that humans have struggled
with the art of listening throughout history. It’s only
more apparent now because the human population is
significantly more interactive than it was 30 years ago.
Have you ever wondered why teachers and profes-
sors encourage you to lower your hand when another
person speaks? The logic is two-fold: first, it’s a sign of
respect. But there’s also the fact that when your hand is
raised, you’re no longer listening to what your fellow stu-
dent is saying. Instead, you’re contemplating your own
response.
Haskett’s article discusses the Harvard Business
School discussion leadership strategy, in which leaders
are encouraged not to call on students whose hands have
been raised for an extended period of time under the
assumption that they have stopped listening to the pres-
ent conversation and will therefore bring the topic back
to what was said several minutes ago.
Whether or not the millennial “Self(ie) generation,” is
less capable of listening than older generations, we can
all agree that our society has a serious listening deficien-
cy.
I’m bothered by this not only because being ignored
and feeling invisible is incredibly frustrating, but also
because I don’t want to subconsciously isolate myself
from the valuable stories, experiences and ideas of those
around me simply because I’m naturally more interested
in my own. I don’t just want to share my experiences
with someone I know genuinely cares; I want to be the
person who genuinely cares.
I’ve recently begun catching myself from zoning out
of conversations. I now hold back from liberally insert-
ing personal anecdotes wherever they apply. I do this
because I don’t want to live in the comfortable world I
subconsciously construct for myself; the one in which
I choose the people and news I interact with based on
my own background and interests. When people are
generous enough to share their personal thoughts and
ideas with me, I want to be the kind of person who cares
enough to listen and engage with what they have to say.
2B
Magazine Editor:
Karl Williams
Deputy Editor:
Nabeel Chollampat
Design Editor:
Shane Achenbach
Photo Editor:
Zoey Holmstrom
Creative Director:
Emilie Farrugia
Editor in Chief:
Shoham Geva
Managing Editor:
Laura Schinagle
Copy Editors:
Emily Campbell
Alexis Nowicki
Jose Rosales
the statement
Wednesday, March 16, 2016 / The Statement
Zooming In: On Really Listening
B Y L A R A M O E H L M A N
the
tangent
T H O U G H T B U B B L E : O N LIN E CL A S SE S
I think that one of the positive aspects of
online class is that you can manage your
time and have the opportunity to take classes
that you wouldn’t have the possibility to
take otherwise. I wasn’t enough motivated
enough. I’ve realised that it has been due to
the absence of human contact: going to the
traditional classes motivate me more. I think
that the relationship and the confrontation
with classmates is really important and that
cannot be replaced by any other approach.
– Art and Design senior Elena Pockay
ILLUSTRATION BY EMILIE FARRUGIA
EMILIE FARRUGIA/DAILY