2B — March 7, 2016
SportsMonday
The Michigan Daily — michigandaily.com

Make Michigan basketball great again
A

nother regular season
ended for the Michigan
men’s basketball team

Saturday night, and Michigan
once again
isn’t in posi-
tion to make
the NCAA
Tournament.

The Wol-

verines just
can’t stop los-
ing.

It seems,

based upon
social media,
as if a small
segment of the fanbase has
decided it’s time to move on
from Michigan coach John
Beilein, and on to bigger and
better things. Michigan basket-
ball, they seem to imply, needs
to be great again — needs to win
again.

They’re absolutely right, but

Michigan has to be careful in
making its next hire. It can’t
mess up again like it did when it
hired Beilein, the guy who has
the third-most wins in program
history, has led the Wolverines
to the Final Four and the Elite
Eight in the last four years and
has had five NBA draft picks in
the same time period. Clearly,
there’s only one man who can
fix all of this losing. He might
be a little busy right now, and he
has never coached basketball,
but who needs free time or basic
knowledge of Xs and Os when
you can win at everything?

Enter Donald Trump, future

Michigan basketball coach.

Coach Trump, as you know,

will be a winner. His Michigan
teams will beat everybody.

Michigan State, Ohio State

and Indiana won’t stand a
chance. If anything, Michigan
fans will get bored of all of the
winning.

“Remember that Beilein

guy who only took us to one
National Championship Game?

That was cute and fun,” they’ll
say as they wear hats with the
word “Trump” on the front and
a block ‘M’ on the back.

After hiring Coach Trump

in the upcoming offseason,
Michigan will win the next
seven national titles, including a
historic victory over the Chinese
national team in the 2022 NCAA
Tournament. China, the world
will learn, never beats Coach
Trump.

And forget about politically

correct coachspeak. After Sat-
urday’s game, Beilein took time
out of his postgame press con-
ference to praise his opponent.
Who wants to hear that after a
devastating loss?

Coach Trump will say what’s

on his mind. He isn’t beholden to

anyone: Not Big Ten commission-
er Jim Delaney, not the NCAA,
not anybody. If he wants to com-
pare Tom Crean to a part of the
female anat-
omy, he’ll do
it. The NCAA
could attempt
to punish
him, but it
won’t matter.
Coach Trump’s
Michigan
won’t rely on
NCAA money,
anyway. He’ll
use his own
cash to grow the program into
something great, just like he built
his empire off his father’s small
million-dollar loan.

On the court, Michigan’s

playing style will change.
You’re sick and tired of the
Wolverines failing to develop
dominant big men, right? Those

guys will grow
on trees under
Coach Trump.

Nobody,

after all,
knows the
importance
of size better
than Coach
Trump. Michi-
gan’s players
are going to be
yuuuge.

And don’t even get Coach

Trump started on how long his
players’ fingers will be. Rich-
ard Bighands, a 2021 five-star
recruit, will be able to palm

three basketballs with his right
hand. Michigan players will
have the biggest hands.

Coach Trump will undoubt-

edly bring a sense of account-
ability that the program is
lacking. Michigan is supposed
to be the leaders and the best,
right? It’s time to start taking
the fight song more seriously.

If players miss shots, Coach

Trump will utter his famous
catchphrase: “You’re fired.”
(Coach Trump doesn’t fully
understand how scholarships
work.) Excuses won’t fly under
his regime.

People will do whatever

Coach Trump tells them to. He
will assemble the finest staff
in the world. Dennis Rodman
and Chris Christie will be his

assistant coaches, and Dr. Ben
Carson, a graduate of Michi-
gan’s medical school, will come
home to be the team doctor. No
Michigan player will ever get
injured again.

After Coach Trump’s third

national title, Crisler Center
will become “Trump Center.”
After his seventh, Jim Har-
baugh Stadium, formerly known
as Michigan Stadium, will be
renamed “Trump Stadium.”
Harbaugh, who will have won
just three national titles by then
— a statistic for which Coach
Trump will frequently make
fun of him — will wear only
Trump-brand khakis.

Coach Trump will retire

after the 2023 season to work
on his new reality TV show,
“Tanning with Rich People.”

But before he leaves, Coach

Trump will take action to give
Michigan the best in-stadium
experience the best, too, by
expanding the Maize Rage.
Sure, Michigan will lose money
from all of the donors who pay
big money to sit close to the
court, but the logistics of the
situation will make too much
sense to ignore.

The Athletic Department,

led by Coach Trump, will build
a huge wall — a massive wall —
around the new Maize Rage to
make sure nobody other than
Michigan students can get in. If
any opposing fans try to sneak
in, the Crisler ushers — armed
with tasers, handguns and
bazookas — will use any force
necessary to send them back
to their seats. Michigan State’s
“Go Green, Go White” chant
will never again be heard in the
arena’s lower bowl.

And who’s going to pay for

this wall, you ask? Seven letters:
T-O-M I-Z-Z-O.

Cohen can be reached at

maxac@umich.edu and on

Twitter @MaxACohen.

SPORTSMONDAY COLUMN

AMANDA ALLEN/Daily

The Michigan men’s basketball team lost four of its final five regular-season games and will face Northwestern in the Big Ten Tournament on Thursday.

MAX
COHEN

People will do
whatever Coach

Trump tells

them to.

‘M’ falls to Buckeyes in overtime

By MINH DOAN

Daily Sports Editor

COLUMBUS
—
After
the

Michigan
hockey
team’s
7-4

loss to Ohio State on Friday, in
which it gave up six unanswered
goals, coach Red Berenson said
the seventh-ranked Wolverines
couldn’t put themselves in a hole
and expect
to
come

back.

Sunday

afternoon, at Nationwide Arena
in Columbus, Berenson found
himself saying the same exact
thing at the end of the game, as
the Wolverines recovered from
a three-goal deficit in the first
period only to lose to the Buckeyes
in overtime, 6-5.

“You can’t come on the road

against a team like this and
expect to come from behind from
three-goal and two-goal deficits,”
Berenson said. “It’s disappointing.
I liked the way our team battled
back in the third period, but
we just gave them too many
opportunities.”

Ohio
State’s
first-period

scoring barrage started when
senior forward Justin Selman
was sent to the penalty box for
interference.

Buckeye
forward
Dakota

Joshua
found
himself
open

inside the left circle and ripped
a shot toward the net. The puck
hit the left post, beating senior
goaltender Steve Racine on its
way into the net to give Ohio State
the lead.

The Buckeyes added two more

goals in the period, both coming
off Michigan miscues.

Sophomore defenseman Sam

Piazza misplayed a bouncing
puck, which allowed Ohio State
forward Brendon Kearney to
collect the puck and skate by him.
Kearney rounded Racine with a
deke and poked the puck home on
his backhand.

Ohio State scored its third

goal when forward Nick Schilkey
caught
freshman
defenseman

Nicholas Boka flat-footed, skating
by Boka to give him a breakaway
on Racine. Schilkey didn’t miss,
and the Buckeyes went into the
break up by three goals.

“We’re
saying
one
thing

and doing another on the ice,”
Berenson said. “We’re just not
playing well enough without
the puck, and we got exposed
defensively in the first period.
They could’ve had five goals in the
first period.”

For the first six minutes of the

second period, the Wolverines
looked determined to start the
comeback,
something
they’ve

done many times before this
season. Sophomore defenseman
Zach Werenski cut the deficit to
two on the power play when he
beat Buckeye goaltender Matt
Tomkins from the point. But
Michigan’s inability to clear the
defensive zone came back to bite
them again, and Ohio State scored
two more goals via the sticks
of forward Mason Jobst and
defenseman Craig Dalrymple to
stretch its lead to four.

“We’re all saying we’re trying to

play better defensively,” Berenson
said. “But it’s not showing up.
It’s not showing up in our goals-
against, our chances-against or
our shots-against.

“We’ve
gotta
play
better

defensive hockey.”

The
Wolverines
wouldn’t

go away, though. Later in the
game, sophomore forward Tony
Calderone cut the deficit to two
with a backhand shot from the
slot.

Michigan
carried
the

momentum into the third period,
as Werenski added his second of
the game to cut the deficit to one,
and freshman forward Cooper
Marody tied the game with less
than five minutes remaining in
the game.

“Selman made an unbelievable

play around the (defenseman),”
Marody said. “I came off the
bench and went backdoor, and
the puck kind of just came to me.
I knew the goalie was going to
slide over, so I tried to put it on the
other side (of the net).

With 2:07 left in the game, the

Wolverines thought they had the
game winner when Selman tipped
a shot in front of the net. But after
a lengthy official review, the
referees waved off the goal, ruling
that Selman used a high stick to
tip the puck in, and the two teams
went into overtime tied at five.

In overtime, Schilkey scored

to give the Buckeyes the win on a
broken play that saw Racine stop
two point-blank chances.

Racine tried to poke the puck

off Schilkey’s stick, but was
unsuccessful, and fell to the ice,
which gave Schilkey an open
net to end the game in the extra
period.

“For two guys to be in front of

the net, me and JT, for (Schilkey)
to find a way to put it in there is
pretty heartbreaking,” Werenski
said. “But it’s hockey, and we’re
going to have to bounce back
here.”

After a dominating 6-2 win

at
Minnesota
last
Thursday,

Michigan seemed to have put
itself in the driver’s seat for the
Big Ten regular season title.

But with three straight losses

since then, the Wolverines will
head into the final weekend of the
regular season clinging to the No.
2 seed and the last first round bye
in the Big Ten Tournament.

And if this past weekend is an

indication of anything, Michigan
still has a lot of work to do to earn
that bye.

MICHIGAN
OHIO ST. (OT)

5
6

JAMES COLLER/Daily

Junior forward JT Compher had one assist in the Wolverines 6-5 overtime loss at Ohio State on Sunday.

Racine struggles,
gives up six in loss

By JUSTIN MEYER

Daily Sports Writer

Exactly
three
weeks
ago,

senior Michigan netminder Steve
Racine was playing the best
hockey of his life — and he knew
it.

“It’s my last year,” Racine said

after a weekday practice. “All the
seniors will say that they want
to go out on the right foot. Just
focusing every day and enjoying
it seems to be working well.”

But this weekend’s home-and-

home series against Ohio State
put that dream of a ride into the
sunset on ice.

Friday night, the Wolverines

were
leading
2-0,
looking

to cruise past their inferior
competition. But the Buckeyes
tallied six unanswered goals
and left Yost with a 6-2 victory.
After stopping just 14 of 19 shots
he faced, Michigan coach Red
Berenson pulled Racine for the
first time all season.

Racine got the starting nod

again for Sunday’s contest, but
the jitters were still there. In his
disappointing games, the senior
tends to sink back into his net and
look unsure with his glove.

After
giving
up
three

unanswered goals in the first 20
minutes, Racine’s second period
was one of his worst stretches on
the year. He looked downright
uncomfortable in net — fanning
at the fourth goal as it fluttered
in the air while every shot on
goal seemed to be a threat to go
in.

But Michigan stuck with him

and it nearly paid off.

“I thought it was a chance for

him to bounce back and for our
team to bounce back,” Berenson
said. “I can’t tell you he didn’t.
They had two breakaways in
the first period and three two-
on-ones — too many odd-man
rushes. He probably kept us in
the game.

“He’s been our starting goalie.

Whether or not we make that
change, its hard to say, but right

now he’s giving us a chance.”

A rally in the final minute

of the second period pulled
the Wolverines to within two,
and Racine stood on his head
as Michigan battled to tie the
game. At the end of regulation,
the senior had three point-blank
stops that nearly saved the game
singlehandedly.

But it was heartbreak in the

end.

In the overtime period, Racine

stopped an initial attempt as
sophomore
defender
Zach

Werenski chased down Buckeye
forward Nick Schilkey. He batted
away another on the follow-
up, leaving a puck dangling by
the top of the circle with three
Wolverines on the ice behind the
net.

“The next thing I know,”

Schilkey
said,
“I’m
coming

around the net and I see the
goalie (Racine) coming out after
it. It was a foot race and I think,
‘I got him.’ ”

Shilkey picked Racine’s pocket

and blasted a puck between the
flailing bodies of Werenski and
junior forward JT Compher.
Racine was sprawled on his
stomach in the slot.

After clawing all the way

back, Michigan was 0-2 on the
weekend.

“It is tough,” said freshman

forward Cooper Marody. “I mean
that’s hockey. He’s been playing
great for us all year. People might
criticize him for some goals he
let up, but, hey, the kid’s been
battling for us all year.”

It was easy to believe that

Racine could ride out the season
as a new player and maybe even
a hero — but feel-good endings
don’t come easy in college hockey.

After dropping three of their

last four, the Wolverines are in
serious trouble, and they need
their golden goaltender back.
Any illusions of an easy finish for
Racine are dashed, but he is the
starting goaltender, and there’s
still a chance to keep that dream
of riding off into the sunset alive.

ICE HOCKEY