Wednesday, February 24, 2016 // The Statement
8B

I
is this poem good
will it get me laughed at
or yelled at
or
whatever
nah
you’re fine
is this paper good
will i pass this class
will i be put on academic
probation and be
publically humiliated
 
nah
you’re fine
what do i do here
do I text them back
now?
tomorrow?
what’s the protocol?
you worry too much.
like, literally no one cares about these things
as much as you

II
[ 
] broke up with me

 
that’s probably a good thing
 
yeah, you’re probably right
as usual
 
(both laughing)

A
lmao
bro
I won a hopwood
 
cha-ching! (secretly jealous)
ohmygod I am going to get so wrecked
*cough*
which means if you are getting wrecked
i’m like
getting deep-fried
i need to date someone that hates me
 
i need to buy some more sweaters

B
[ 
] and i are done-zo

are you ok?
im great!
(one laughing)

PKB
 
Bites
Moans
oh my goooood
Falafel on cheeks
 
You disgust me
 
I know, it’s great.
 
am i a bad friend
am i a bad friend
am i a bad friend
am i a bad friend
am i a bad friend
am i a bad friend if
i am a bad friend
am i a bad person

pita kebab and chill?

i need to stop going to pita kebab
i wonder when i will date [ 
] again

we watched foxcatcher here
i wonder when i will date [ 
] again

as our relationship fell apart
i wonder when i will date [ 
] again

see you just need to not talk to her
i wonder when i will date [ 
] again

that’s how you do break-ups
i wonder when i will date [ 
] again

just don’t talk to ‘em
pita kebab got me through my break-up
i wonder when i will date [ 
] again

Photos by Zoey Holmstrom/ DAILY

Are you guys, uh, cousins or something?

By Rich Phillipson, LSA Junior

