3B

Dear Emma,

As a woman, I’ve been encountering situa-

tions where I feel like I have to reconcile two 
very different sets of expectations for myself. 
Professionally, women are becoming more able 
to have significant roles as leaders in society. 
But then personally I feel like I’m supposed to 
do the opposite and take up as little space as pos-
sible (both in conversations or, literally, in the 
room) and be, well, pretty all of the time. How 
do I deal with feeling like I have to be two differ-
ent people and walk this fine line?

Sincerely,
Finding a Fit

***

Dear Finding a Fit,

Women engage in this kind of self-monitoring 

almost constantly, spending valuable time and 
space in our minds on trivial concerns such as our 
appearance.

It’s the age-old celebrity complaint: Splash the 

word “anorexic” over my face on your magazine’s 
cover, then put me on “baby-watch” if I gain five 
pounds. Women just can’t win sometimes.

We are liberated and equal and free to do what 

we want as women — but those of us who go to bars 
are expected to wear the same skin-baring clothing 
in the Skeeps line, snow or otherwise. As women, 
our sexualities are policed. We are supposed to be 
attractive but walk, like you said, a very thin line — 
careful not to breach into the dreaded territory of 
“slut.”

It’s like this.
Society: You should be a young, sexy, attractive 

woman. You are a sexual being. Flaunt it. Enjoy 
being objectified — it’s a compliment.

*Woman wears hella cute body con mini-dress 

with iridescent sequins around the v-neck top*

Society: You’re dressing too provocatively, your 

dress is too short, too much of your cleavage is 
exposed. It’s like you’re asking for it. Slut. How can 
anyone respect you professionally if you dress like 
that?

This is part of being a woman: mastering this 

dichotomy. We are perpetually dealing with the 
systematic, daily commercialization of our bodies. 
But as we encroach (theoretically) more and more 
into the professional world, how are we to behave?

I walked into my always-chatty 11:30 a.m. class 

a few weeks ago wearing the same shoes I always 
wear, the same pair of fleece leggings I slip on when 
it’s a little chilly out, and the red button down flan-
nel shirt I wear in the fall. My bangs are growing 
out so I put my hair in a bun to keep it out of my 
eyes — nothing out of the ordinary. A male student 
approached me and asked me a) if I had an exam 
coming up or something of that nature or b) if I was 
sick.

I have been asked maybe a dozen times in my 

life if I am sick on the days I don’t wear makeup or 
don’t straighten my hair (which are often). These 
men, the ones that ask me this, clearly have spent no 
real time with a woman. They have specific expec-
tations for my appearance and they are more than 
willing to make it known when those expectations 
are not met.

It’s that moment two days into midterms when 

your male friend whispers about a female fellow 
classmate’s armpit hair, scowling and scrunching 
up his nose. It’s the girl not wearing the bikini she 
loves and it’s the girl next to her, wearing the bikini, 
whose body is automatically scrutinized by every-
one walking by. I catch myself doing it.

So talk to other women about this. If I feel like I 

can’t walk into class with my hair in a bun without 
being assumed to have fallen ill, other women have 
experienced this.

The expectation to look “good” (good as defined 

by some other absurd standard) while perform-
ing to the same (higher?) caliber as men in your 
position exists. And this is just one example of the 
conflicting expectations society has for women. Be 
conscious of it, talk about it, make others aware of 
this feeling of duality, share your experience. Don’t 
let these confusing expectations determine how 
you will behave.

Sincerely,
Emma

Dear Google: Dressing for success

B Y E M M A K E R R

CAMPUS CONFLICTS & 

CONVERSATIONS

ON THE 
RECORD

“Given the widely publicized xenophobic fearmongering 
by some high-profile Republican presidential candidates 
this fall, I find it hard to believe that your decision was 

based solely on a desire to protect Michiganders.” 

— Daily Columnist VICTORIA NOBLE in an open letter to 

Michigan Governor Rick Snyder after his decision to not allow 

more Syrian refugees into the state

***

“It happens every year.”

— CSG elections director BENJAMIN REESE, a third-year law 
student, in reference to the comical variety of write-in candidates 

— including Jim Harbaugh, Ben Carson, and Bernie Sanders — 
that appeared on ballots during the most recent Central Student 

Government elections this week

ILLUSTRATIONS BY CHERYLL VICTUELLES

We get it. For many, Thanksgiving is tough. Negotiating political and 
generational differences around a turkey-laden table can often be a 
stressful mindfield. Here are a few suggestions for destabilizing con-

versation topics.

THE LIST

THE WEATHER
It’s been an unseasonably lovely fall, hasn’t it? Bring up climate 
change at your own caution.

SPORTS
The Bears are doing the thing and playing the game swell.

ALEXANDER HAMILTON
Our nation’s greatest founding father? And the Broadway musical 
about his life? Jackpot.

BUZZFEED, BUT BETTER

ACTUAL THANKSGIVING DINNER 

CONVERSATION TOPICS

ADELE
“Isn’t her voice just lovely?” Grandma says, to dispel Grandpa’s 
impassioned rant about the refugee crisis.

THESE POTATOES
Mmmm. Wow. Is there extra butter in these? Really makes the 
difference!

1 

3 

5 

2

4 

Wednesday, November 25, 2015 // The Statement 
 

