3B
Magazine Editor:
Ian DIllingham
Deputy Editor:
Natalie Gadbois
Design Editor:
Jake Wellins
Photo Editor:
Luna Anna Archey
Creative Director:
Cheryll Victuelles
Editor in Chief:
Jennifer Calfas
Managing Editor:
Lev Facher
Copy Editors:
Hannah Bates
Laura Schinagle
Emma Sutherland
THE statement
CONFLICTS &
CONVERSATIONS
ON THE
RECORD
“This is an attack not just on Paris, it’s an attack not
just on the people of France, but this is an attack on all
of humanity and the universal values that we share.”
— PRESIDENT OBAMA in a response to the Friday terrorist
attacks in Paris, France.
***
“It’s not all being measured up against some pop
culture moment I had with a song I wrote when I was
sixteen. Everyone has allowed me to grow.”
— Early 2000s pop star VANESSA CARLTON in an interview
with The Michigan Daily.
***
“The entire campus community must listen to and
sympathize with the very real and urgent struggles
that all students of color face in 2015.”
— The Michigan Daily editorial board in a response to the
recent racial unrest on national campuses.
My Cultural Currency: The Talk
I
s the sex talk a thing? Because
movies, TV shows, and books
have told me that this is a com-
mon parenting practice, but I’ve
personally never experienced it.
Growing up, sex was never a topic
that was discussed to any extent in
my house. My father, with his quiet
and reserved demeanor, and my
mother, with her anxiety-prone
personality, would rather die than
mention anything remotely having
to do with sex to my siblings and I.
Sex was always alluded to
through verbal smoke and mirrors.
When I turned twelve, I think
my mom attempted to give me some
version of the talk? I had asked her if
I could sleep over at a friend’s place
and had received a firm no.
“Look, Tanya, you’re a girl,” she
said, noting a fact I had known my
entire life.
“So?” I asked.
“There are certain things that
girls have to be careful about,” she
said.
“OK, like what?”
“There are just some things that
we can’t do, because of safety.”
“What does this have anything to
do with going to my friend’s house
for a sleepover?”
“Go play outside and let me cut
the vegetables,” she said, as she cut
up the cucumber more quickly and
aggressively than before.
Last year, for my story on the
SAAN conference, I had the oppor-
tunity to interview comedian Hari
Kondabolu. When I asked him what
the most challenging part of his set
was that day, he said when he would
talk about sex, he could feel some
tightness and discomfort from the
older Indians in the audience.
Sex isn’t something that’s amiss
from Indian culture. It’s a part of
our religious mythology and now,
there’s an upward trend of open dis-
cussion and positivity toward sex in
Indian society.
However, most diaspora Indians
generations back from mine were
raised in a household where sex was
a taboo topic and have, unfortunate-
ly, carried that idea with them.
In fact, for the longest time in
Indian cinema, seeing two people
kiss on screen was a rare occur-
rence. It’s why we have so many
song-dance sequences in our mov-
ies — that’s our answer to the on-
screen kiss.
Once, when I was ten and my
brother was seven, we were watch-
ing a movie that I can’t remember
the title of and snacking on a giant,
family-sized bowl of popcorn.
Things were getting good in the
movie, I remember, because the
main couple was professing their
love, the music was swelling in the
background, my brother was yelling
about it being a “stupid, girly movie”
and everyone in the room was
becoming hyperaware of each other.
The camera zoomed in on the
couple’s faces, which were moving
closer and closer together, when
suddenly my mom lunged for the
remote on the opposite end of the
couch and popcorn flew in my face.
“SKIP FORWARD, JIGNESH,”
she yelled at my dad.
My father, alarmed and horri-
fied by the idea of my young eyes
witnessing two people kiss, fum-
bled with the remote and skipped
forward so hastily, that the DVD
popped out of the player because it
thought we had finished watching
the movie.
Neither of my parents wanted to
risk skipping backward to find the
exact spot we could resume watch-
ing, so we just went to bed and, to
this day, I’m not entirely sure if
things ended up OK in the movie.
Most of the sex education I
received for much of my life was a
combination of public school man-
dated-ed, Judy Blume novels, and
the Internet. Unlike the movies and
TV shows I watched with them, my
parents never thought to censor the
ones I watched or the books I read
alone.
I could check out anything I
wanted from the library and my
parents wouldn’t bat an eyelash
or even take an inter-
est in what I was reading.
In their minds, reading
books means gaining more
knowledge. Tanya likes
books. So, by transitive
property, Tanya is gaining
more knowledge.
And most of the time,
they were exactly right.
Most of what I was reading
wasn’t explicit material,
but rather classic literature.
But sometimes, like when
Judy Blume’s “Wifey” and
“Forever,” slipped into my
11-year-old hands, I wished
they had kept a little bit
more of a close eye.
Here’s to hoping my
parents don’t read this col-
umn.
B Y TA N YA M A D H A N I
Wednesday, November 18, 2015 // The Statement
ILLUSTRATIONS BY CHERYLL VICTUELLES