Wednesday, February 4, 2015 // The Statement
3B
My Cultural Currency: Life’s just a soap opera
M
y mother and I disagree
on
everything.
That’s
how, she says, she’s able
to get me fantastic, on-point birth-
day and Christmas presents.
“I just walk into a store and, if I
love something, then I buy you the
exact opposite of it. Here, I bought
you this shirt. I absolutely hate it
though, so I’ll walk two feet in front
of you when we go to dinner.”
Ha.
My mother — I think — loves me.
But our banter never reaches Rory-
Lorelai proportions of epic and our
conversations never approach “Full
House”-worthy sentiments.
For a longer time than I’d admit,
I thought it might be possible that
— and this probably sounds a lot
harsher in writing than I mean it
to, Mom — I was adopted. And the
idea, or at least some tiny suspicion
of this possibly being true, probably
would have endured had it not been
for the following two things:
1. I once saw a picture of her from
when she herself was in college
and had to double take because we
looked “The Shining” twins level of
terrifyingly similar.
2. Most importantly, we have an
unabashed and shared, fervent love
for lowbrow Indian television —
specifically, soap operas.
Take it from me — Indian soap
operas, with their overdramatic,
overcooked plotlines, are better
than Samoas, better than Tag-
alongs.
Better than Thin Mints. I’m dead
serious, even if these soap operas
often aren’t.
Some
mother-daughter
pairs
enjoy
scrapbooking
mundane
moments from their life, planting
flowers that will eventually die in
Michigan’s six-month winters or
traveling together for highly inap-
propriate benders to Cancun, but
not Mom and me.
The foundation of my relation-
ship with my mother is built on our
mutual obsession for badly acted
television programs with excessive
thunder sound effects. And, like
many of my other bad habits (i.e.
nail-biting), it started young.
To give you a bit of background,
soap operas in India, called “seri-
als,” take drama to a whole other
level.
Telenovelas
are
nothing
in comparison. Serials usually
involve a large, wealthy family that
owns some sort of vague, powerful
Google-like company. The men in
the family are always signing some
contract or fighting over some “very
important merger that will deter-
mine the fate of their company.”
But that’s irrelevant to the actual
plot of the serials. More often than
not, people — like Mom and I —
tune in for the conflict between the
women on show. Because serials
are so family-oriented — probably
stemming from India’s widely-held
belief in traditional values, but
that’s neither here nor there — they
rely on classic tropes of rivaling
daughters-in-law and aggression
between the son’s mother and his
wife.
It’s all very riveting and,
every year since I was four,
my mom and I have gotten
sucked into a show’s black
hole. That was all before I
went away for school, but
I still get updates from
my mom and, after asking
standard Mom Questions
— How are you? Have you
eaten? — she’ll give me vivid
descriptions of what I’ve
missed and who’s been poi-
soned or pushed down the
stairs since the last episode.
It’s like I haven’t missed
a thing. It’s like I’m back
home, parked in front of the TV
with my eyes glued to the screen,
guessing exactly how the evil, eye-
patched mother-in-law is going to
separate her husband’s adopted
daughter from the girl’s husband.
It’s miserable out. And binging on Netflix to avoid homework can
only be sustainable for so long. Here are five great books to cuddle
up with and ignore the snow piled outside your door.
THE LIST
BUZZFEED, BUT BETTER
READ A BOOK, AVOID THE WORLD
B Y TA N YA M A D H A N I
T H E T H O U G H T B U B B L E
“We take a lot of theory classes, but after that we go more into the practice
of music … Trying to step out of that bubble, I guess that’s something one has
to learn in college. Not just talking with professor, but speaking with friends
— gaining that confidence, that boost, to just tackle the world … You want to
build a special connection and a bond when you perform for people.”
–MUSIC, THEATER & DANCE JUNIOR KHRIS SANCHEZ
ILLUSTRATION BY MAGGIE MILLER
1. “YES PLEASE” - AMY POEHLER
The resident queen of comedy released her memoir in September to
the thrill of fans worldwide. Poehler doesn’t disappoint, both funny
and poignantly relatable in the book you never want to stop reading.
2. “THE POISONWOOD BIBLE” - BARBARA
KINGSOLVER
In no way a beach read, “Bible” beautifully examines many moral and
humanistic questions in stunning prose. Following a young family of
missionaries in the Congo, it will make you question ... everything.
3. “THE CHILDREN ACT”- IAN MCEWAN
The “Atonement” author does it again with this gripping story of
morality and desire. It’s short, but this modern fable enthralls.
4. “BAD FEMINIST”- ROXANE GAY
Unsurprisingly, this book of essays discusses feminism, political
correctness and conflicting identities. Gay contributes a fresh, frank
voice to an oversaturated lexicon.
5. “THE MARRIAGE PLOT”- JEFFREY
EUGENIDES
Set in familiar Grosse Pointe, “Middlesex” is a modern masterpiece,
chronicling the mysticism of a family from Greece to Ellis Island to
Detroit. The story focuses on the earnest youngest daughter, who
happens to be a hermaphrodite.
LUNA ANNA ARCHEY/DAILY