So the ban on whaling in Oklahoma (Oklahoma!) may be the 

most bizarre law in the U.S., but some laws here in Michigan are 

still pretty darn weird.

2B

Magazine Editor:

Ian DIllingham

Deputy Editor:

Natalie Gadbois

Design Editor:

Jake Wellins

Photo Editor:

Luna Anna Archey

Illustrator:

Megan Mulholland

Maggie Miller

Editor in Chief:

Jennifer Calfas

Managing Editor:

 Lev Facher

Copy Editors:

Hannah Bates

Laura Schinagle

Emma Sutherland

THE statement

THE LIST

IN THE BACKSEAT
Couples are banned from making love in an automobile 
unless the act takes place while the vehicle is parked on the 
couple’s own property.

NO HAIR, HE CARES
A woman isn’t allowed to cut her own hair without her 
husband’s permission.

PANCAKE SYRUP DAY?
Known to few, throughout the state the last Sunday of 
every June is known as “Log Cabin Day.”

DAILY VIDEO: ARE YOU HAPPY? 

BUZZFEED, BUT BETTER

FIVE STRANGEST LAWS IN MI

HOOP THERE IT IS
In Grand Haven, no person shall throw an abandoned hoop 
skirt into any street or on any sidewalk, under penalty of a 
five-dollar fine.

WELL I’M SCREWED
Drunkenness on any train is prohibited within state 
lines. 

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Wednesday, January 28, 2015 // The Statement

This week I sat in my Economics 

102 lecture and learned about the 
utility function: the relationship 
between consumption and “happi-
ness” — conceptually measured in 
fictional units called utils.

Despite pages of textbooks and 

explanations from multiple pro-
fessors that economics is model-
based and not literally based, my 
anti-arithmetic mind rejected this 
form of measurement. How could a 
small graph and equation quantify 
human happiness?

But beyond this resistance, I 

questioned why and when and since 
when did humans feel the need for 
this type of economic organization. 
And if humans felt the need for eco-
nomic organization, at what point 
did humans desire a moral — or 
in some people’s eyes, religious — 
organization?

Humans organized economi-

cally in the early 18th century when 
Nicholas Bernoulli theorized the 
decision-making patterns of con-
sumers. Between Adam Smith, 
John Maynard Keynes and hun-
dreds of others, economics has 
evolved, but always continued to 
provide humans with a structure of 
looking at their world.

When humans were nomadic, 

they found a spirit in everything 
they interacted with: the river, the 

sun, powerful animals, great lead-
ers and themselves. The earliest 
form of religion was through imi-
tation of the things they admired. 
They found these concepts so pur-
poseful that they were driven to 
imitate them as a form of guidance 
for survival.

In his book, “A Man’s Search for 

Meaning,” Viktor Frankl chroni-
cles his experience in concentra-
tion camps during World War II. 
He observes that those who found 
meaning in their daily routine, 
despite their dire circumstances, 
were the ones who preserved and 
survived.

Karen Armstrong, a former 

Roman Catholic nun, wrote in her 
book “A History of God” about the 
evolution of three monotheistic 
religions: Judaism, Christianity 
and Islam. One observation that she 
makes is that the three religions, all 
in their own way, believe God is a 
figure that gives humans this type 
of purpose. The line of thinking 
translates to: God made you for a 
reason.

Humans across generations have 

found that religion gives them a 
purpose. Though, in some ways, I 
believe this sounds as if religion is 
a social crutch, there is no denying 
that it is also a tool that motivates 
humans to think about their mor-
als, their ethics and their purpose 
here on earth.

If religion grants purpose and if 

a concept of purpose grants a suc-
cessful life, then, like economic 
utils, fictional religious utils hold a 
valuable place in our world too.

From the Pews: A religious util?

B Y C L A I R E B R YA N

ILLUSTRATIONS BY MEGAN MULHOLLAND

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