T

wo months ago, a can of 
beer was thrown from 
the second floor of a 

fraternity house that will remain 
unnamed. Said beer can hap-
pened to find my head, and while 
the bruise healed, my motivation 
to #turnup has remained a little 
weak these days. 

Early in December, a new bar 

hosted its soft opening, and it 
was packed. Every two weeks at 
Mighty Good Coffee, this pop-up 
event draws people from all over 
Ann Arbor to its non-alcoholic 
bar. 

It is safe to say the organizers 

of Brillig Dry Bar are not aiming 
to attract undergraduates on a 
Saturday night, but as a 19-year-
old living in a world where under-
age drinking is not only common 
but expected, having a social 
experience that doesn’t involve 
sweaty frat bros, Natty Light, 
skin-tight skirts in the middle 
of December or the lonely, emo-
tional hangover that follows is 
rare, and the whole idea sounded 
pretty rad to me. 

Frankly, it’s classy. And while I 

might read George Elliot and Jane 
Austen for Intro to Victorian Lit-
erature, my regular mono-meals 
of Swedish Fish and the credit 
card bill I got last week filled with 
Pizza House entries don’t indi-
cate I do much classy shit. 

So this got me thinking. Ann 

Arbor is one of the best college 
towns in the nation, if not the 
best, and I rarely see it. When 
Ann Arbor is relatively student-
free over breaks and summers, 
townies jump for joy. But why?

If we never leave South U. and 

State St., we might never find out. 
I know that it’s a place of hippies 
and killer food, that it retains a 
small-town feel while offering 

some of the perks of a city and that 
weed has been decriminalized for 
years, but what exactly does the 
off-campus scene have to offer?

Alcohol and substance abuse 

at the University of Michigan — 
the campus of work hard, play 
hard — is a problem, and I’m 
definitely not the only one who 

thinks this way. The Uni-
versity cut Welcome Week 
short this year for a rea-
son, and according to the 
National College Health 
Assessment, 70 percent 
of undergraduates con-
sumed alcohol in the past 
month and of those, nearly 
half did something they 
regretted in the past year. 
Not to mention the 18 per-
cent of students who had 
unprotected sex. 

But it’s more than the 

numbers. It’s someone’s 
abortion story that will 

stay with them forever. It’s a 
ruined friendship resulting from 
a drunken mistake. It’s the need 
for an emotional crutch — a.k.a. 
alcohol. 

So, it’s events like a non-alco-

holic bar — away from the party 
mentality — that have an unusu-
al sense of freshness. Where 

I can sip on a Vernors Cran-
berry Sour wearing an entirely 
mismatched patterned outfit, 
discussing the next Ferguson 

meeting scheduled downtown 
or Michigan’s win in the GLI 
final. It’s the diversity of people 
at these kinds of events — events 
that just scream Ann Arbor — 
that is so attractive, and it’s the 
opportunity to engage in conver-
sation with a clear mind in a new 
and unusual environment that 
will keep me coming back. 

In this column and over the 

coming semester, I plan to see 
what makes the real Ann Arbor 
tick. Off-campus events — what 
it means to live off-campus and 
what your neighborhood says 
about you, new restaurants, old 
restaurants, the people who make 
Ann Arbor what it is, and what 
it would mean for students to 
engage in their town as invested 
citizens. 

As I write this, watching my 

childhood best friend twist open 
another Smirnoff Ice, I resolve to 
enjoy all that the college experi-
ence has to offer, but also to allow 
myself to resist succumbing to the 
expectation of perpetual intoxi-
cation — one might throw around 
the phrase binge drinking — for 
the refreshing, unusual, poten-
tially 
pretentious, 
innovative 

offerings residential Ann Arbor 
presents.

Wednesday, January 7, 2015 // The Statement 3B

Magazine Editor:

Ian Dillingham

Deputy Editor:

Natalie Gadbois

Design Editor:

Jake Wellins

Photo Editor:

Luna Anna Archey

Illustrators:

Megan Mulholland

Maggie MIller

Managing Editor:

Lev Facher

Editor in Chief:

Jen Calfas 

Copy Editors:

Hannah Bates

Laura Schinagle

Emma Sutherland

COVER BY LUNA ANNA ARCHEY

In light of Jim Harbaugh’s recent hiring, we have collated five 
items roughly equivalent to the contract that won him over.

THE LIST

2. PRIME A2 REAL ESTATE
The most expensive house for sale in Ann Arbor at $2.9 million — 
16 times over.

A GREAT VACAY
The entire GDP of Tuvalu, a 
Polynesian island nation, currently 
worth $40 million.

4. MAJOR FRESHMAN 
FLASHBACK
3,843,074 cases of Natty Lite, beer of choice at U-M tailgates.

BUZZFEED, BUT BETTER

FIVE THINGS WORTH $48 MILLION

BEYONCÉ’S BLING
Nine of Beyoncé’s engagement rings 
purchased by husband Jay-z, valued 
at around five million dollars.

LOTSA PIZZA
4,174 medium, hand-tossed, ham 
and pineapple pizzas from Ann 
Arbor’s very own Domino’s.

1 

3 

5 

ILLUSTRATIONS BY MEGAN MULHOLLAND

Becoming a Townie: A knock on the head

B Y E M M A K E R R

THE statement

Bonderman Fellow Louis Mirante holding “old dynamite” at a silver mine in Bolivia in 
November.

PHOTO COURTESY OF LOUIS MIRANTE

