Pagce Eighteen
THE MICHIGAN DAILY
Stordov, Mo r&h': 1945
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THIS, TOO, IS
CHEMISTRY'S DOINGS
THE PITIFUL story of Hepsibah Ann
I'll tell you as faithfully as I can.
Hepsibah lived all the days of her life
With normal amounts of joy and strife.
She'd cut her teeth and learned to walk
And amazingly early she learned to talk.
She went to school and, so I'm told,
dShe always was just as good as gold,
She played in all the Christmas plays-
And her report card never had much but "As
The awkward age she skipped right over
And life was still a bed of clover.
In time she went away to college;
With grace and ease she soaked up knowledge.
And Heppy was happy as Heppy could be
'Til she made the acquaintance of CHEMISTRY
The facts of life she thought she knew,
But no one prepared her for Waterloo.
At first, she thought she'd love the stuff;
She thought she had I. Q. enough.
But soon the acids, salts and bases
Left their sad, confusing traces
On wrinkled blow and haggard face
And bidden nails all over the place.
Molecules and electrolytes
Kept her in her room at nights..
She said to calls for recreation,
"Not 'til I solve this damned equation."
She never was able to have any futu
Reactions and products were never done.
The ways of bismuth, lead and zinc
Left her much too tired to think.
ONCE, she even grew hysterical
With all the compounds amphoterical.
She plugged and pleaded and plodded and plied
And struggled and strived and toiled and tried.
She grew gloomy and groggy and gray and grim
She grew weepy and watery, doleful and dim.
And horror of Horrors! She lost such weight
She multiplied this steady rate
By the number of weeks to the end of the term.
The result was such as made her squirm.
The thought was truly enough to appall;
When the final came-she'd weigh nothing at all!
She sat down quick to curb her fate
To work it out e'er it was too late.
But alas, alas! for Hepsibah Ann,
Who failed her tests again and again.
She couldn't stop trying; she had to get through
The last few weeks and start life anew.
So the days they came and the days they went,
But poor little Hepsibah's life was spent.
The day of the final she took to her bed;
She couldn't even raise her head.}
She turned her face unto the wall,
And breathed her last-and that is all!
MORAL:
When next term's work you try to plan
Remember the fate of Hepsibah Ann.
Those with a chemical turn of mind,
By the way, are very hard to find!
Those who can are welcome to it.
The rest of us shouldn't try to do it!
-by merry Jane
HERE'S TO VICTORY and
FUTURE J-HOPS...
And Now for
z < $64 Question
In line with it'poiy of work.
insofar as possible to he best
interests o the Ann AborS tu-
dent body the Michigan Daily,
e elth the copeation of the isUn-
sity Regents hereby annosene'
ekits annual puzzle contestU
Answ ers to the pn lalm pes-
ented below must be typewritten
dou te-spaces on one side of the
rrper only and mailed before Mar,
rg1n to the Sttdent Publications
ae A Building, 624 Gillespie, Chain-
NONE OF TItS STUFF ALLOWED AT V-BALL paign, Ill.
The 15 best answers will receive
____ - - - -5 year complimentary subscrip-
tAge HasnWingmRea he der ellH l ions to the Michigan Gargoyle,
R e et seW ui R a re r s t i eTinning with the Marching,
h g n d sg u The problem : There are 52
s n g we eks in a year. The University
I UEfferst aTo Em phasize e ered wo Michigan schedules three 16n
In ffh o t bd , r Uekdterms during the year,
__- -. --- - weelcs. Between each term
Ating upon plans submitted by mA
the architectural agency design- University Hall built in 1351 tihere is one week of vacation, or-
ing the University pot-war re-( an Italian monastery, was trans- ientation, registration and so
construction and revitalization Iported to America by Columbus' forth making three more weeks,
program, the Board of Regents in 1492. acid moved to Ann Arbor or a total of 51 weeks during the
today approved the resolution to by riversteamer in 1816. As there Year. Now, for the prizes listed
raze Angell Hall before April 1. I were no monk in Michigan at above, what happens to that oth-
"The Regents have long felt4 that time, the iiversity was s- er week?
that Angell Hll is nothing more tablished here one year later. I
than an eyesore which effectively The Daily joins the Regents in V-BALL BLUES
mars the otherwise unsullied beau- approving the resolution to de- The V-Ball is a lovely thing,
ty of the campus," a spokesman stroy Angell Hall,' feeling that At least, so we've beet told.'
for the Regents announced. "Also what was good enough for our Its praises all the coeds sing,
because it was built right in front grandfathers is good enough for Its wnders are untold.
of University Ball, Angell tall us, and that such revered works And how thse girls rave on and
shuts off the view of that building, of art as U Hall should not be on
thus annoying alumni and tu- blemished by the pro~smity of ar- About bands and songs anesueh.
dents who have come to regard chitectural upstarts. Also Angell But the reason that we've never
U Hall as something like death Ball was built during a Republi- gone.
and taxes." ha said. can administration. Is IT COSTS TOO lUCH!
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