Page Six

THE MICHIGAN DAILY

Saturday, February 15, 1941

Woman Is Unpredictable, Infamous, Et Al

erate. The new hat is beautiful, or it
t yi ts frightfully horrid.
Take this enfant terrible of mine.
F mHF She is a typical member of her
ro i H er, species. I compliment her new gown;
it is ravising, interest-provoking. But
W / W arn Y o Ido not notice that it has a de-
Y e a rn OU tachable jacket, and she tells me
about later in the evening. I reply
When You Want Love, She Asks that the gadget escaped my notice.
. I'm no Schiaparelli. That puts me in
For Conservation, And Vice the doghouse for the rest of the eve-
Versa; In Fact Vice Versa ning. (Move over, Rover.) I return
home after a long session at school.
By THE BEACHCOMBER I dash over to see her toute de suite.
Once in a great while it becomes She knows I'm coming. I rush in
necessary to assert oneself. This breathless ... eager ... hungry . .
she's out for the evening and who
shall proceed to do without further shall I say called?
deliberation. My assertions are cen- And At School
tered about that strange, unfathom- At school I eagerly await her let-
able, irrational microcosm-WOMAN. ters. I tear the envelope open with
Up to now. I have led a simple, every- manical ecstasy-and what doesshe
day sort of life, without much reason she misses me, that her evenings
for deliberation or complexities. I are sterile, that her Saturday nights
have pretty much done as I pleased are lonely? She writes about her blue-
without thinking twice about it, books. Undaunted by my consistent
swearing, studying, sleeping, and in failure in trying to please her, I fin-
short getting a kick out of life be- ally pldie taept.ace-my desperate
cause I though I was being indepen- Would SHE honor me by accepting
dent. But things have changed late- an invitation to the J-Hop? That oc-
ly. No longer do I lead a unilinear casion of occasions, that night of
existence. And the reason, alas, is nights-would SHE? Is she over-
WOMAN. A genuine, dyed-in-the- whelmed? Excited? Delighted? No.
wool, sophisticated to-the-point-of- SHE nonchalantly answers that she
blowing-smoke-through-her-nose- wouldn't mind going. As if it were
when-she-smokes woman with all the an ordinary every-day affair, as if I
essential trimmings. And a redhead had asked her to a thousand J-Hops,
at that. Custom built, chrome plated, as if such invitations were common-
plush lined: all this and something place. I sadly hung my head; I take
more. leave of her, muttering "excuse me
Glorifying The Male for living" as I pass through the
We males are, on the whole, mod- door.
erate, rational beings; we function It's simply no use, friend. We're
with at least some degree of sensi- drawn and quartered at every curve.
bility. Our philosophies toward life I have to work like hell to wrangle
are not too extreme, not too pinkish. a kiss out of her. I go to extreme
Nor are they so modest that we lead lengths to show her I am the only
a static existence. Being slightly bi- one in the world for her and isn't
ased on this point (since we males she lucky. She mentions that Cuth-
must stick together as the proverbial bert VanSnifter was seen at the P-
birds of a feather are said to do) I Bell drunk by Dolly Whatsis. Well-1
nevertheless give no ground when I really! As if I give a damn, never
say that females are the- bane of touching the stuff myself.
man's existence. We can't get along And The Final Analysis
with them; nor can we do without But in the final analysis, we men
them. The typical femme fatale is al- are doomed. We thrive on such a
ways the ingenue-ever helpless, yet routine. It is an ipso facto argument
able to cope with difficulties in a that women enjoy it too. We fight
method that is nothing short of ad- for what we want, and the women,
mirable. Women live in extremes. God Bless Them, make believe they
Nothing is "fair" to them. It is either want no part of the argument. But
very good, or very bad. The weather do not be led astray, friend. We men
is lovely, or it is horrible. Never mod- are always so naive, don't y'know.
) N

P.T. Barnum had a word for it, but Sister Maria Giannino, SDC, a Twenty-three different uniforms
it's provoking to see ourselves being third cousin of Pope Pius XII, has or combinations of uniforms are in
twisted around that little finger so enrolled for the spring semester at use at The Citadel.
often spoken about in re affairs of the Mount Mary College, Milwaukee. _
heart. It's like playing puss in the
corner, or now-you-have-me-now- - Friday and Safurday -
you-don't.
Make no mistake, friend, they're E R ROL F LYN N AG
all alike, from virgin to vixen. If "SANTA FE TRA[Ls" o
you're thwarted, do not despair and the Stafe
do not look longingly toward the bot-
tle of iodine in your medicine cab-
inet. Instead, you too should play
hard to get. Try it. I did, and look - Starting Sunday --
where it got me . . . in the end. M- oM

Second Night
For J-Hoppers?
Why In H---
Some people have been requesting
campus poll-ers (as distinguished
from pole-vaulters and Poles and
poles, etcetera) to find out from
someone why in thunder a second
night of dancing this year. Poll-ers
generally know where to go to find
out something, and if they don't, they
pretend they do and nobody knows
the difference anyway, unless some
particular one writes a letter to The
Daily, but that's irrelevant anyway.
So it has come to the attention of
this machine (typewriter, as distin-
guished from someone who is regi-
mented into work and soon loses his
individualism) that an explanation
is due. That is why we are print-
ing here that the second night is
because you will all be tired after the
first night and will sleep all day
????) an dthen will be fresh and
ready to start out again and this will
be something nice to do. See?
0

NEVE R BEFO RE
* - ...- perhaps
never again
...such a
cavalcade of
139 famed
stars ! 200
lar scenes!
1000 explo-
sive thrills'
The Moton Pe Industryofthe UnitedStat.es
Sponornd by beMoto Pictu.
Prodcers ad Dstributor of America,,Inc

OF1
m
ND HI MDMS AIM0 iAC
and
SCRAZY ACTS
Dave Van Horn
)
He lenPamer
Christy & Brown
and others
Attend the
Saturday Mat.
ri G S SCRE4E

C Smokers know..
IHhester fields
SatisWy
WITH THEIR MILDER, BETTER TASTE