Saturday, March 10, 1945

T HE MI CH IGA N D A ILY

Pane Five

,audy Mach0 95TEMCIA DILPaeFv

Daily, ffiCiI Bull

Our Reporter Herewith Lists
His Pre-War Dreams, Plans

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By BONDS
(AFTER THIS ISSUE IT IS NO LONGER All lectures will be given by Flynn, who were to have given the For the past year or so, my poor
OFFICIAL) Adam LaZonga. lecture, are unfortunately engaged ear he been ye ssnty as-
Notices for the Daily Official Bull Required Feminine Hygiene Lee- in further research. ars have been incessantly as-
should be legibly printed on penny tures These lectures for women sailed by a multitude of post-war
postcards and mailed to the Pretzel plans, offered from all quarters to
Bell, where members of The Daily are practically the same as those Seven Cocktails in the Wrong all quarters, with little or no re-
editorial staff will rewrite them to for men, except that they are County will be the subject of the gard for the circumstances or de-
suit their own convenience. Notices more interesting, from a mascu- lecture by Dr. G. Howie Byrrps of sires of the receiver.
pertaining to sex, alcohol, high-living, line point of view. the University Chemical Research For instance, I have no particu-
passion, sex, love, necking, sex, beer, --society. Dr. Byrrps recently com- far ambitionto eat a mountain of
petting, sex, love, and/or passion will If unavoidably delayed, women pleted a 30-day personal investi- strawb ice ceam a the ar's
no aoed an these columns. students will be allowed admit- gation of the local jail at the re- nor a I uyig war bo
Also any matalof a lewd entoce tance to their various dormitories quest of the Circuit court. Identi-
The only sea that nay be mentioned- and stans because I waont to ow
is the opposite one. after the announced 2 a.m. closing fication cards reprocessed to show a button, which with a mere flick
hour for the V-Ball. Smeared lip- that the bearer is over 21 are re- of the wrist, will give me a wife,
stick should be removed and cloth- quired for admission.
Noties ing should be straightened before socblecutredhildren, and a
Those students who are dissat- ringing the doorbell. Also make The president's annual greeting In opposition to these varied
isfied With grades received during sure you still have everything to the members of the Union try- and diverseitln isu ed
and for the fall semester may ap- whe you come back that you had out staff will be given in the le- diersi plans, issued from
ply for a reconsideration at the when you went out. ture, "Vice Can Be Nice." tdherent indus Aea ging Sal
campus Army headquarters., A .tCorporation to The Rome Didie
sufficient number of TS cards Required physical education Love's Labor Lost will be the Laundry Service, I herewith re-
have been printed to satisfy the courses for women: Physical edu- subject of an address by Miss spectfully submit my pre - war
demand. cation for women will be discon- Margaret Sahger at 2 p.m. Mon- plans.
tinued this term, as the Univer- day in the lobby of Stockwell Hall. Inasmuch as cigarettes are so
A postcard is being held in the sity feels that Michigan women hard to get nowadays, my first
Office of the Dean of Students, are physical enough. My Experience with South Sea pre-war plan, to take effect on
bearing the message, "Economics . nWomen will be the lecture given Dec. 6, 1941, is to go down to the
51. A. Very good exam." There is To all wonen students: Begi- by Titus A. Drumm, a returned corner drug store and purchase
no address on the postcard. Owner ning the first warm day of spring, veteran of the Pacific War. He several thousands of cartons of
will please call for same as soon the Office of the Dean of Women is the author of that best selling cigarettes; while doing this, with
as possible. will be open 24 hours a day. West- novel, The Ins and Outs of Mod- very little more exertion, I think
ern Union telegraph blanks will rn Warfare. I will go around the corner to the
idetifcaioncars:Allidet. be provided for those who think
Identification cards: All identi- their parents should know.
fication cards were to have been
turned in during registration to be
validated for the Spring term. To all men students: Beginning
Those students who have not as the first warm day of spring, the
yet doctored their cards to show Lawyers' Club will have qualified
that they are over 21 are request- law students on call at all tines
ed to call at the Dean of Students for those who feel that it will be > , . The Clothes
office and do so immediately be- better all the way around if no-
fore the cards are returned. White body finds out about it.
ink and ink eradicator will be Makes Her HE
provided. The University does this Biology 167, The Reproduction
because it is getting damn tired of of the Amoeba: This course will
the messy way in which students be eliminated in the spring term, z
have been changing their birth because there is not a sufficient
dates without adequate materials. number of students interested in
this phase of reproduction.
Notice to all students under 21:
For an indefinite period there will Events TODAY!
be a sahortage of beer in Ann Ar- University Mothers Club: The
bor, dlue to the shortage of water. annual meeting of the UMC will
be held today in Rm. 2, University
Freshman Health Lectures for Hall. All the who have become
Men: In accordance with Univer- eligible for membership during
sity regulation, there will be a the past year will be initiated at
series of six health lectures for this time. Applications for ad-
freshmen, transfer students and mittance to membership in 1946
all other men who have not as yet must be submitted at least one
successfully completed this re- year in advance. All those inter- -
quirement for graduation. Leo- tsted in becoming a University
tures will begin at 10 p.m. Monday mother, contact the club sponsor.
and continue for six days there- -
after. Topics to be discussed on aiielhigan Youth for Fascist Ac-
successive days include: tion will discuss the implications
1. How to Avoid Germs Acquired of the recent Jack Armstrong ,
by Drinking Ann Arbor Water, anti - American speech entitled,
Eating Ann Arbor Food, Drinking Raise the Flag for Hudson High,
Beer Out of Your Date's Glass. Boys. A large attendance is re-
2. Our National Pasttime, or quested.
Kissing Spreads Germs Too. ----
3. How to Avoid Getting Germs Exhibitions
Through Kissing. (This lecture The Clements Library has en
is rather uninspired and often exhibition all this week a series of
even ridiculous (ain't they all?) photographs showing typical par-
It advocates substituting hand- ty scenes at campus fraternity and
holding for kissing, and has never sorority houses before the war. Frotm /j21uopers to jewels . . . from overalls to
been popularly received.) The pictures are unfortunately
4. What To Do When the House- censored; therefore they show only
mother Begins To Lock the Door necking, drinking, petting and all-over elegance, faCObsOn S have what you
(This lecture does not perhaps what have you.
have too much to do with health, want and what you need for a completely
but it has been demanded that The pictures taken at the recent
freshman men learn about these all-faculty party are now ready
things in time.) for distribution in the cashier's successful college wardrobe. Come in and see
5. The Problem of Getting Up office. Since this party was more
Nights, and Allied Subjects. (This refined than some, the pictures or yourself how seperbly casfa! is our sports-
lecture from the very beginning is show only wbhat have you.
all wet, and students are advised - -;___
to forget it, unless they have a Methods of Loving in the Ren !ear... how graCious and Charming our eve-
strong mother complex.) aissance: A particularly intriguing
6. What the Arboretum is For and catechecnic collection of
(Only students who have been on paintings and captions compiled ing wear. .. how fashion-right our suits and
campus less than one week are by vigorous research through old
required to attend this lecture. archives in the attic of East Rall
Oddly enough,. it is given under (built by the Puritans in 1621,
the auspices of the Zoology de- and later moved west by oxcart).
partment, instead of the Botany The various poses illustrated throw
department as might ordinarily a good deal of light on modern

have been expected.) romantic technique. The collec-
There is also a seventh lecture tion will be on display for several
given each year, which is usually days this spring' at each of the
announced privately in each class, sorority houses.
rather than publicly through The
Daily. This, profusely illustrated,a-
is entitled, "Why You Should-
n't Have Gone to the Arboretum The lecture entitled Is You Is A M I C H I G A N F A S H I O N IN S T I T U T I O
After All." Usually the entire male or Is You Ain't My Baby has been
population of the campus attends. postponed. Mr. Chaplin and Mr.

neighborhood combination meat
market and grocery store and pick
up enough provisions for a family
of ten, for a period of isolation
lasting about seven years.
Having taken care of my imme-
diate physical necessities, I now
will turn my attentions to my sec-
ondary physical necessities, wo-
men. Who knows what the future
may bring? Maybe sometime in
the future, women will not be as
plentiful as they are now, at least.
the kind of women I like to asso-
ciate with. It's always a good plan
to stock up on what's plentiful
while it's plentiful.
My next step, still on Dec. 6.
1941, is to warn our Navy and
Army that the Japs don't really
want peace with our government.
In fact I wouldn't be at all sur-
prised if they might attack us
some one of these fine days (to-
morrow).
My final pre-war plan is to
gather all the issues of Turf Mag-
azine together, and make an ac-
curate composite list of win rec-
ords. I might want to know the
pedigree, record, and statistics on
one of my meals someday, and to
get that meal, I gotta have the
dough to pay for it.
,onscious Coed
adquarters at
i

N FOR 75 YEARS