Saturday, February 15, 1941

TH E MI C HIGAN DA ILY

Page Five

Saturday, February 1 5, 1941 THE MICHIGAN DAILY Page Five

Michigan Men
Are Messes;
Why Glorify?
Honoring The Unmarried
Male Is A Tough Business;
But You Gotta Do It!
This glorifying the male-especial-
ly the unmarried male-is a tough
proposition. Too much female prop-
aganda floating around. We (I, too,
am a man-anyway my mama says
I am) know we're superior, but does
it do any good? Can we prove it?
Can we manage to stay single? No.
No! NO!! (Read that line over-the
last "no" should rise to a shriek.)
There was a time when a man
could stay single if he so desired.
There was a time when "batching"
was a legitimate way of life. There
was a time-but that time ain't no
more, me hearties. It is now 1941 J-
Hop, Vulava watch time; so men
watch your step! For wicked female
propaganda has done its evil work.
It has undermined the Superior
Sex (that's us-we keep telling our-
selves) until we easily fall prey to
their wiles and let them trick us
into going down that long, long road
from which there ain't any way back
but Reno-and my mama says Reno
is a bad, bad place to which no one
should go (unless you want a hell of
a good time).
And Now We Leave Reno
However, let us leave Reno (much
as I hate to) and get back to the
subject-which is man being seduced
into marriage by woman. The situ-
ation has come to such a sorry plight
that no man is safe-much less safe.
Take my dear friend, Rathbone
Smythe, f or instance-in fact take
him for nothing. Take him and keep
him-I don't want him. No one wants
him. Not even his own mother wants
him. He has been wrecked on the sea
of life (Mr. Ogden says that's a met-
aphor). And why? (Not why is it a
metaphor-I dunno-but why has
our hero been wrecked?) It is all be-
cause of a woman.
Now let me tell you about Rath-
bone. He was always the kind of guy
who thought women were like street-
cars-you miss one and another al-
ways comes along. Everyone (includ-
ing Rathbone, himself) had him slat-
ed for a nice, happy, single life. But
then came the Woman!
Oh, Those Eyes
She met him. She looked at him
(oh, those eyes!). She praised him
(which was more than anyone else
had ever been able to do). She cooked
his dinner (on the theory that the
way to a man's heart is . . . ). She
cleaned his apartment (which cer-
tainly needed it).
Then one day she said to him,
"Rathbone, we were made for each
other." (Where have you heard that
before?) Now, of course, it is nice
to know they were made for each
other. Up 'til now I had been won-
dering why either one of them had
been made at all. Rathbone thought
it was nice, too, poor fellow. And so,
they were joined in wedlock-and she
kept the lock.
There was no more making Mary
-I mean merry-for Rathbone
Smythe. He became a lost soul. He
seldom spoke. He never smiled. He
couldn't hold his liquor-in fact, he
couldn't get it. He never played poker
with the boys. Instead, he served tea
a the Ladies Bridge Club (meets
every Tuesday; membership fee, two
bundles for Ill-Fed Canines)-with
a little pink apron on!
Beware! Beware! Beware!
Now do you want this to happen
to you? Do you want to go on the
wagon, but good? Do you want to
serve tea to the Ladies Bridge Club

(meets every Tuesday; membership
fee, two bundles for Ill-Fed Canines)
-with a little pink apron on? Do
you-by the way, who the hell are
you, anyway? And what are you do-
ing here?
But to get back. The time has
come (with apologies to the Walrus)
for Man to watch his step. The J-Hop
week-end is a dangrous time for all
free members of the Superior Sex
(that's us-we're still telling our-
selves.) I plead with you, I beg you,
I beseach you PLEASE DON'T MAR-
RY MORE THAN ONE WOMAN AT
A TIME!! (One is enough to keep you
out of the draft.) Remember Rath-
bone! Remember the Alamo! Remem-
ber not to tell the little woman I
wrote this!
Marian Feulner is vying with male
classmates in the surveying course
at the Agricultural College of Utah.

NEW CARLYLES IN NEW COLORS!
Cabana Red, Dogwood, Mustard, South American Tan, Pepper Red

LAST-MINUTE ARRIVALS from the
Carlye designers are these amazing-
ly young dresses which seem to be
made for spring wear on campus
and off. And see those new colors!
Even the names suggest something
different, some of them borrowed
from our neighbors to the south.

THE CONTRASTING TOP over a print
skirt seems to be a fashion note
that's catching on quickly. To the
right, this theme is used in a one-
piece dress with a splashy print
that reminds you of jungle flowers
and rhumbas.
$1'7.50
THE DRESS above is a redingote
style enlivened by a two-tone color
arrangement. A really up-to-the-
minute idea that's surprisingly
practical, too.
Bonnet Brims!

Above Carlye has created a simple
frock in a subdued print, worn un-
der a pink pastel jacket.

4L~

THE SMARTEST have new squared-off brims
... so very flattering ... a bit more dress-
ed-up than your pork-pies. Black, Brown,
and Navy.
$4.00
by Seabr'oo

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