Saturday, February 15, 1941 THE MICHIGAN DAILY Page Nine Here Is The Acid Test For That 'Beautiful Gal Way Back Home' Stay Away From The East Young Man Our J-Hop Is A Blessing After A Trip To Girls' School Formal Dancing Party, With Cookies There are wanders in the esst, smangthem the Brooklyn Dodgers. There are perversions of nature-out- door phenomena to behold. There are also indoor formal dances at girls' schools. We shall speak of the latter. We shall whisper these things in- to your ear, because they are still a secret to many of the uninitiated who still fancy themselves the swains of fair damozel. There is no glori- fication of the male in Madam's School of Learning. We are speaking of those deluxe, education - f or - money - but - you - find nice-girls, perfumed purloined, sacro- sanct schools of women. When they throw a party, you know you've been some place. It happens with a breath-swishing alacrity that startles the novice. He stalks into pink-marble halls, and meets a pink-cheeked girl, with a pink chiffon dress. You might call it a junior prom dress, my girl does. Yes, Lochinvar does all this, then it begins. He looks around for a friend. He sees more girls in pink frocks, more pink marble malls, another pink cheek. There are no friends. But astride Lilliputian chairs is a chaperone's line. These seating places were never meant for chaperones lines, and vice-versa. In fact, vice- versa of a certainty. When you mince an approach to these personages they rise, in a flutter of fluff and shrill language. These folks greet the great. You are the great. You pass out. When you reach the hall, there is dance music. Some- times the fiddler halts to repair a string. Then the cellist must saw by himself. It's not hep, nor is it hot. It is strictly drawing room. That is where they serve the lunch. Usually this is no less than a cookie, a plate of condiments, lemon, and hot water. You do not eat, you behave. Other people watch you behave. When you leave the girls insult you. That is the east. FINE LEATHER WATCH STRAP Nothing quite so practicatlhha beenod. Fur your pnrotetion the trde nam e i stamped on every strap, your assurance of highest quality. -o One of the most desirable features T. D. H. Asserts That of an affair like this J-Hop is that it is a powerful antidote for tons of hot Graduation's The Thinq air which are dispensed on this cam- One of the persons attending to- pus on "how absolutely 'gorgeous' night's party will be Thomas Dudley that girl back home is." (Graduation's the thing) Harmon. Every fraternity, boarding house, He will be attending with Macgot or cooperative always has a few of Thom, '42. those boys who, whenever the sub- It is contrary to Daily policy to ject of the opposite sex is brought unnecessarily publicize Tom Harmon. up, will look around at his group of We've insulted him too often already. listeners with a condescending sneer There are several thousand Michi- and say, "Of course, out here you gan men who will not attend the fes- have to be satisfied with what you tival. Their names are available upon can get, but back home-well that's request. a different story. The girl that I go away with at home would be the Yolney H. Jones, University of most popular girl on this campus if Michigan anthropologist, is studying she went to school here. She's got refuse at an old New Mexican mis- everything-looks, brains, personal- sion to learn what the early Span- ity, etc., etc. iards ate. Then he will pull out his wallet - and show a crumpled photograph of -_ a face that you wouldn't have your worst enemy take out on a blind date. Then this purveyor of hot air pro- ceeds into the usual line of apologies of how the "picture does not do her justice, how the picture does not dis- play her personality, how you don't get an idea of that million dollar figure etc., etc." Whenever the boys get back from the movies and grow ecstatic over the charms of Lana Turner, Betty Grable, Hedy Lamarr, this guy will grudging- ly concede that perhaps those girls are O.K. for the league they're in, but really That Girl Back Home is in a class by herself, he says, coining a phrase. He then repeats ad nause- um all the adjectives he has been using throughout the year. Then the night of the J-Hop comes and with it the showdown. He pre- sents That Girl to his pals. They are usually polite and they tell her pleased to meet you with a straight face. Then when this guy and his girl have left their company his pals plunge into a thorough analysis ofi- the specimen of femininity which they have observed. Remarks are made which are such that boastful boy would not like to hear if he were present. "Does it really talk?" one will ask. Others will plunge into IT PAYS TO a bitter argument whether or not one would be ashamed to take her to DRESS CORRECTiT a dog show on a pass. Usually the dispute ends in a draw. FOR EACH OCCASI A slight variation of this kind of pain in the neck is the chap who takes a girl to the hop who is a University coed and well known to the boys but not well-appreciated by them. He usually apologizes by describing the ravishing beauty back home who was all set to come to Ann Arbor for When certain Big the weekend but at the last minute found she had to have her tonsils taken out-or got an attack of lum- a fellow likes to bago-and couldn't make it. "What you want at fhe pri'c oue twant to Pay" MEN'S TOGGERY EVERYTHING FOR THE MAN 514 Est L tutr I tRT itn /I t G tNt B tL'. . . . PltON. 9068 According4 to SafflIA, IIush, yoII*Ie njot well-d ressed nunless yon fel.. . Stein Bloch Clothing offers you that solutiont. Sold exclusively in Ann Arbor at Saffell &Hush. LYN ION. Mormns come along in a man's college life -- look his best. And looking one's best means Saturday night special For Good Food ... Go To The Union Dinner in the Main Dining Room Service from 6:00 until 8:00 o'clock Late Snacks Tap Room open until 1:30 Serve Self - Everything Good To Eat. MICHIGAN UNION feeling completely at ease - Master of the situation - You can not do it in clothing that fits improperly - So be dressed cor- rectly by Saffell & Bush in Stein Bloch Clothes.