Page Six
THE MICHIGAN DAILY
Saturday, February 15, 1941
Woman Is Unpredictable, Infamous, EtAl
erate. The new hat is beautiful, or it P.T. Barnum had a word for it, but
Stay A w ay is frightfully horrid. it's provoking to see ourselves being
Take this enfant terrible of mine, twisted around that little finger so
F She is a typical member of ner often spoken about in re affairs of the
ron e r, species. I compliment her new gown; heart. It's like playing puss in the
it is ravising, interest-provoking. But corner, or now-you-hage-me-now-
Ida nat natice that it has a de- yau-dan't.
W e W arn Y ou tachable jacket and she tells me Make no mistake, friend, they're
about later in the evening. I reply all alike, from virgin to vixen. If
When YOU Want Love, She Asks that the gadget escaped my notice. you're thwarted, do not despair and
I'm no Schiaparelli. That puts me in do not look longingly toward the bot-
For Conservation, And Vice the doghouse for the rest of the eve- tle of iodine in your medicine cab-
Versa; In Fact Vice Versa ning. (Mave aver, Raver.) I return met. Instead, you too should play
home after a long session at school. hard to get. Try it. I did, and look
By THE BEACHCOMBER I dash over to see her toute de suite. where it got me . . . in the end.
Once in a great while it becomes She knows I'm coming. I rush in
.T breathless . . . eager . . . hungry . .
necessary ta assert aneself. This I she's out for the evening and who
shall proceed to do without further shall I say called? Second [ i ht
deliberation. My assertions are cen- And At School
tered about that strange, unfathom- At school I eagerly await her let- For J-H oppers.
able, irrational microcosm-WOMAN. ters. I tear the envelope open with
Up to now. I have led a simple, every- manical ecstasy-and what does she\A hy II ---
day sort of life, without much reason she misses me, that her evenings
for deliberation or complexities. I are sterile, that her Saturday nights Some people have been requesting
have pretty much done as I pleased are lonely? She writes about her blue- campus poll-ers (as distinguished
without thinking twice about it, books. Undaunted by my consistent from pole-vaulters and Poles and
swearing, studying, sleeping, and in failure in trying to please her, I fin- poles, etcetera) to find out from
ally play my last ace-my desperate someone why in thunder a second
short getting a kick out of life be- do-or-die attempt.
cause I though I was being indepen- Would SHE honor me by accepting night of dancing this year. Poll-ers
dent. But things have changed late- an invitation to the J-Hop? That oc- generally know where to go to find
ly. No longer do I lead a unilinear casion of occasions, that night of out something, and if they don't, they
existence. And the reason, alas, is nights-would SHE? Is she over- pretend they do and nobody knows
WOMAN. A genuine, dyed-in-the- whelmed? Excited? Delighted? No. the difference anyway, unless some
wool, sophisticated to-the-point-of- SHE nonchalantly answers that she particular one writes a letter to The
blowing-smoke-through-her-nose- wouldn't mind going. As if it were Daily, but that's irrelevant anyway.
when-she-smokes woman with all the an ordinary every-day affair, as if I So it has come to the attention of
essential trimmings. And a redhead had asked her to a thousand J-Hops, this machine (typewriter, as distin-
at that. Custom built, chrome plated, as if such invitations were common- guished from someone who is regi-
plush lined: all this and something place. I sadly hung my head; I take mented into work and soon loses his
more. leave of her, muttering "excuse me individualism) that an explanation
Glorifying The Male for living" as I pass through the is due. That is why we are print-
We males are, on the whole, mod- door. ing here that the second night is
erate, rational beings; we function It's simply no use, friend. We're because you will all be tired after the
with at least some degree of sensi- drawn and quartered at every curve, first night and will sleep all day
bility. Our philosophies toward life I have to work like hell to wrangle (???) an dthen will be fresh and
are not too extreme, not too pinkish. a kiss out of her. I go to extreme ready to start out again and this will
Nor are they so modest that we lead lengths to show her I am the only be something nice to do. See?
a static existence. Being slightly bi- one in the world for her and isn't
ased on this point (since we males she lucky. She mentions that Cuth-
must stick together as the proverbial bert VanSnifter was seen at the P-
birds of a feather are said to do) I Bell drunk by Dolly Whatsis. Well-1
nevertheless give no ground when I really! As if I give a damn, never
say that females are the bane of touching the stuff myself.
man's existence. We can't get along And The Final Analysis
with them; nor can we do without But in the final analysis, we men
them. The typical femme fatale is al- are doomed. We thrive on such a
ways the ingenue-ever helpless, yet routine. It is an ipso facto argument
able to cope with difficulties in a that women enjoy it too. We fight
method that is nothing short of ad- for what we want, and the women,
mirable. Women live in extremes. God Bless Them, make believe they
Nothing is "fair" to them. It is either want no part of the argument. But
very good, or very bad. The weather do not be led astray, friend. We men
is lovely, or it is horrible. Never mod- are always so naive, don't y'know.
Sister Maria Giannino, SDC, a Twenty-three different uniforms
third cousin of Pope Pius XII, has or combinations of uniforms are in
enrolled for the spring semester at use at The Citadel.
Mount Mary College, Milwaukee.
- Friday and Saturday -
ERROL FLYNN
"SANTA FE TRAIL"
- Starting Sunday -
NEVER BEFORE
* ... perhaps
never again
xcavalcade of
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