Saturday, February 15, 1941

THE MICHIGAN DAILY

Page Fifteen

Saturday, February 1 5, 1 941 THE MICHIGAN DAILY Paqe Fifteen

MICHIGAN DAILY
J-HOP STAFF The Reply 7he
Churlish Cite (4t,'
CO-EDITORS C u ls t
PAUL CHANDLER, GERALD BURNS By TOUCHSTONE0
Others who appeared while work was __c a tch
going on: William Baker, Will Sapp, Al
Blauotein. Chester Bradley, Bud Dober, This is the way you go to a J-Hop.
Alvin Donn, Emile ele, Colonel Huter, r,?
Dave Lachenbesch,GeTouchstone,HJeon For the sake of brevity I shall as-
Shapero and Shirley Wallace. sume that you can dance, to a cer-
Contributors from the women's staff tam e
were: Frances Aaronson, Frances Mendel-t xtent, and aa that yu arc
son, Dolly Haas, Grace Miller, Rhoda Le- a sociable creature who likes to go THERE'S AN OLD SAYING, cam-
shine, Jean Crump, Doris Cuthbert and to J-Hops. If you are not a sociable ing from a man, to the effect
Jan Hiatt.
creature, you will be in Detroit like that four out of five coeds are beau-
Ace Proof Readers I am as you read this, and that will tiful and the fifth one comes to
Barbara Jenswold Michigan. Perhaps you have heard
Wi. A. MacLead be another story, unwritten herein Mcia.Prasyuhv er
Co-Business Managers alsofor the sake of brevity and other it.
John Rookus, Dan Huyett reasons. Time has failed to prove the
Local Advertising You have a girl, or you know a fallacy of this adage, though it
Ed Perlberg; Ted Tarbell (Asst.) girl, or there was a girl up at the has undergone a seige of fire from
Service lake last summer, and during the the lipstick lassies that would make
Jim Daniel; Dave McKinney (Asst.) course of a moonlit evening, or after Hitler's heart warm.
Classified the fifteenth dry Martini at the Book , ,
Dave McCalmont; Ken Warren (Asst.) Casino you mention tentatively, un- HIS J-HOP EDITION has been
National Advertising der your breath that there will prob- trying to carry that philosophy
Howard Wallach; Bob Flott (Asst.) ably be a J-Hop at school this year.
Circulation The girl says "why I should be de- to its logical end. Valentine's Day
Fred Ginsberg; Walt Cattle (Asst.) lighted," and tells you what train she is here, and some of the editors de-
Publications will arrive on. There is another be- cided it was time to give the male
John Grandy; Dick Briggs (Asst.) ginning to this story, which involves his due. No more pampering to la
certain hot shots who blythely buy damozel.
Promotion a ticket before asking The Girl, and * *
Roger Berg; Harry Wasson (Asst.) then do not receive the assent RSVP It's to be a rag, a bone, and a hank
Accounts of The Girl, and you can see the of hair; not sugar and spice and
Karl Scharff complications arising out of that, everything nice. So, with serious-
Women's Co-Business Managers culminating when Somebody's Kid ness of purpose and fervence of
Rosabeth Lebster, Phyl Lovejoy Kousin arrives still in braces, and spirit we dedicate this issue to the
Women's Advertising Managers the hot shot calculates during a glorification of the Michigan man.
Margaret Sanford, Lou Carpenter, brief moment of awful truth just a *
Margaret Ann Hadsell how much scotch he might have pur- But it's hard, with so damn
chased for the inordinately high sum many engineers wandering around
D C p dof seven dollars plus expenses, He will to spoil the illusion!
D n Cprobably buy the scotch anyhow.
Speaks His Piece... You will then announce loudly, as lot of noise and be painfully gay,
if to reassure your inner man, that and watch others who seem really to
BY THE TIME YOU READ THIS you are trotting a queen to J-Hop, be in the spirit of the thing, but who
Bh already and the boys will say Who? or actually are watching you wishing
been past, the last kiss will have been. If there they could be half as gay as you are.
is a chance that any of the Fellows It is a hundred to one shot that
snatched, your red crepe paper will know the young lady, at this point somebody in your party will (1) drink
have outgrown its usefulness, and it is best to remain silent, or else too much and have to be escorted
tat ve rfn h com ip artnou say simply"You'll see," for according to the Men's Ladies (choose one)
sent to the prof in the pipe course to time honored custom ifyoanromor()sebdwilhva
that wasn't won't raise even a you an- room, or (2) somebody will have a
chuckle anymore. Yes, it'll be past nounce the name and measurements flat tire when he gets out to the car,
(sob), and then will come that awful of the filly and she be known, her or (3) there will be an accident on
feeling of nothingness. That awful identity will be closely followed by a hairpin curve, or (4) persons un-
feeling will come sure as anything. another, more incredulous and gasp- known will have walked out wearing
We'll make book on it. ing "Who?" and loud laughter, ac- the new formal overcoat you argued
And why will you be feeling bad? companied by diverse remarks de- your family into buying just before
Hah! That's easy to answer. You'll signed to sully her chaste character. the time needed, and you will leave
be feeling sad because you've gone If she be unknown, you are more your name at the roadhouse just in
through a whole Valentine's Day fortunate, for it is then possible to case the person unknown merely made
without accomplishing one solid state solemnly, Suzanne De Glutz, a mistake, and six months later the
thing. There, it's out, we've told and add the all important words, checkroom girl will call you up and
you, and you ought to be ashamed. "her father is the Third National you will go out there and she will
For Valentine's Day is something Bank." This is known as Creating a show you a burlap sack picked up
big in our lives. It ranks second only Stir. outside and say is this it? and you
to groundhog day in importance, in Having created your stir, you are will say no-or perhaps yes if you
our affection, in significance and in faced next with the problem of get- need a burlap sack. On the other
all-round good old brotherhood of ting a ticket. This because you are hand if you do not have a car, and
man. very very seldom a bona fide member cannot (you will not, let me assure
The name is familiar to all Amer- of the junior class, often leads to ex- you) find a taxi, you will go en masse
icans. Why, there is such an impor- tremes of subterfuge and dissimula- to one of the local coke and juke-
tant personage as the head-man of tion (two of my favorite words) un- box shops and sit in a back booth and
all the New York City bulls-Com- equalled even among the diplomats of mix set-ups with cheap whiskey you
missioner Valentine. And then, who between-war Europe. You find a have bought along the way, and
hasn't heard of Jimmie Valentine? pledge or junior member of the coop- things will get very hilarious, with
Yes, just name somebody who hasn't. erative or just a kid in the rooming results one through three as listed
"Alias Jimmie Valentine" is our fa- house, and talk to him, using honeyed already (two and three to be taken
vorite movie, next, that is, to Miss words, telling him how boring the figuratively, not literally).
Elaine Barrie's "How to Undress in whole thing will be, and explaining The whole thing should not run
Front of Your Husband," a work of that you are going only because duty you more than about twenty-five
art which we have seen seven times. demands it, and it is your last (sec- bucks, if you are careful and do not
We never seem to tire of it. Well, ond, first, graduate) year in school start lighting cigars with ten dollar
we like "Alias Jimmie Valentine" and you have never been to a J-Hop, bills in the spirit of good clean boyish
best, next to that. and if you are good enough you get fun. And look what you get for it. For
his application, but if you are not a month afterward you will not date.
AND TO GO ON with the famous good enough you wait for a scalper nor indeed see any more of the fair
conotadion ofrValentine's Da. -to advertise that he has a single tick- sex than is absolutely necessary, That
We read the other day that Jan Val et which he is willing to part with should save you a certain amount,
tin who wrote this book about Soviet at a loss of only five dollars over depending upon how much you ord-
Russia took his name from the word the list price, and groaning and vow- inarily date. And what is more, if she
"Valentine". So you see, if you had ing to wreak dire revenge on him ere is any kind of a girl at all, you will
any spunk and real patriotism about he be gone from this pleasant spot have been allowed breathlessly and
you, you'd see red every tim Valen- forever, you pay, no, make that read, earnestly, to kiss her goodnight on
remember how lucky you ace to be you PAY. Friday night, on Saturday night, once
living here in this country where you Now it is important to note that just before dinner when the rest of
can cheat on an exam and not be a J-Hop does not mean just a dance, the mob has gone in to the table al-

nabbed by any OGPU or Gestapo or even as this year two dances. J-Hop ready Sunday, and perhaps if she
dybbendbyanndOGPUharsGestapo
agents. means we are all going to try to act loves you, at the train when she
But no, you haven't done a thing like we are Harvard boys or Cornell leaves. Maybe she will take your fra-
solid on Valentine's Day, and you'll or Dartmouth Winter Carnivalites, ternity pin, if you are a good boy.
be sorry. See if you aren't. There or something else of the sort that If she does not get around much,
were so many things you could have usually appears in the party section she may send you her picture, which
done too. You could have telephoned of Life Magazine. So there must be you can put in your room along with
your folks, like the ads say. You other plans made. There must be a the other pictures, and it is fairly
could have bought some tums or fine dinner, at some spot where none likely she will make certain over-
mum or rum or gum. You could of us have ever been before, and tures within the year concerning the
have sent away for some cheap writ- there must be drinking, not of mere next J-Hop, but you will know better
ing courses that use the Newspaper beer, nor of near beer, though there than that-oh ha ha ha won't you
Copy Desk Method (like we did). are those who can be satisfied by though. Eventually you will marry the
You could have read a newspaper. such. No, it must be cocktails, or at girl or some other girl, and all this
You could have written a letter to the very least highballs. If you are nonsense will be over, and in retro-
your girl, the other one. Or you fortunate enought to have a car, or -pect it will all look like a lot of fun.
could have called up that campus can afford a taxi and what is more Those of you who derive any more
date who was good enough for the find one on that night of all nights, pleasure of the Big Event of the
rest of the year, but who didn't rate you attend the festivities at some Social Season will be either naughty
J-Hop. out-of-town drinking spot, where or smooth and in either case you
There were so many useful things you will be charged double prices could have as much fun any other
you could have done this Valentine's for half-drinks because you are col- weekend of the year. I hope you all
Day. But you didn't do them, and leg students and they've all got plen- have just oodles and oodles of fun,
there's nothing to do about it. ty of the long green, and at said spot kids. Nay, I am sure you will. So
- Daniel Cupid you will sit and pretend to make a long until soon.

KF

IIL
L.L

Give Your Clothes Budget a Break!
Purchase those extra items far your wardrobe
at PRE-SEASON PRICES!
Suits 24.50 - 29.50 Shirts 1.65 - 1.95
Topcoats 16.75 - 21.75 Smart Hats 3.95
KUOHN'S CLOTHES SHOP
122 EAST LIBERTY - On the Corner Next to the P-Bell
Greetings
J-Hoppers
Here's hoping that you have a grand time this week-end.
Make our store your headquarters.
A WOMAN NEVER FORGETS THE MAN WHO REMEMBERS
Don't forget a VALENTINE Box of Candy
Whitman's - Gilbert's . . . 25c to $5.00
&f(Vaentibne Scke!
"HEARTS OF HYACINTH"
'1.25 6y I
Visit Our Cosmetic Department
Complete Stocks - Trained Cosmeticians
For Lunch or Supper
Ours is the best and tastiest food in town!
HOME-MADE PIES --HOME-MADE ICE CREAM
Try Our FROSTED MALTEDS for a Special Treat.
fi~

Keep A Picture Record
Let us tell you what film to use and how to be sure of get-
ting good pictures. Eastman Kodaks and Supplies
Everything in Cameras-Motion Picture Equipment.
Cine-Films - Roll Films - Packs and Plates
Again Greetings and hoping we may have the
opportunity of serving you.
CALKINS4 uFLETCHER
2bru71 SoeB
324 South State 818 South State