Saturday, February 15, 1941

THE MICHIGAN DAILY

Page Nine

Here Is The Acid Test For That
'Beautiful Gal Way Back Home' =

Stay Away
From The East
Young Man
Our J-Hop Is A Blessing After
A Trip To Girls' School Formal
Dancing Party, With Cookies
There are wonders in the east,
among them the Brooklyn Dodgers.
There are perversions of nature-out-
door phenomena to behold. There
are also indoor formal dances at girls'
schools. We shall speak of the latter.
We shall whisper these things in-
to your ear, because they are still
a secret to many of the uninitiated
who still fancy themselves the swains
of fair damozel. There is no glori-
fication of the male in Madam's
School of Learning.
We are speaking of those deluxe,
education -for- money -but-you - find
nice-girls, perfumed purloined, sacro-
sanct schools of women. When they
throw a party, you know you've been
some place.
It happens with a breath-swishing
alacrity that startles the novice. He
stalks into pink-marble halls, and
meets a pink-cheeked girl, with a
pink chiffon dress. You might call it
a junior prom dress, my girl does.
Yes, Lochinvar does all this, then it
begins.
He looks around for a friend. He
sees more girls in pink frocks, more
pink marble malls, another pink
cheek. There are no friends.
But astride Lilliputian chairs is a
chaperone's line. These seating places
were never meant for chaperones
lines, and vice-versa. In fact, vice-
versa of a certainty. When you mince
an approach to these personages they
rise, in a flutter of fluff and shrill
language. These folks greet the great.
You are the great.
You pass out. When you reach the
hall, there is dance music. Some-
times the fiddler halts to repair a'
string. Then the cellist must saw
by himself. It's not hep, nor is it
hot. It is strictly drawing room.
That is where they serve the lunch.
Usually this is no less than a cookie,
a plate of condiments, lemon, and hot
water. You do not eat, you behave.
Other people watch you behave.
When you leave the girls insult
you. That is the east.
FINE LEATHER WATCH STRAP
Nothisg quite so practical has been found. For
your protection the trad ne ist pedon
every strap, your assurance of highest quality.
754u , " 1114th rlyd U4 4

One of the most desirable features fT. D H. Asserts That

of an affair like this J-Hop is that it
is a powerful antidote for tons of hot
air which are dispensed on this cam-
pus on "how absolutely 'gorgeous'
that girl back home is."
Every fraternity, boarding house,
or cooperative always has a few of
those boys who, whenever the sub-
ject of the opposite sex is brought
up, will look around at his group of
listeners with a condescending sneer
and say, "Of course, out here you
have to be satisfied with what you
can get, but back home-well that's
a different story. The girl that I go
away with at home would be the
most popular girl on this campus if
she went to school here. She's got
everything-looks, brains, personal-
ity, etc., etc.
Then he will pull out his wallet
and show a crumpled photograph of
a face that you wouldn't have your
worst enemy take out on a blind date.
Then this purveyor of hot air pro-
ceeds into the usual line of apologies
of how the "picture does not do her
justice, how the picture does not dis-
play her personality, how you don't
get an idea of that million dollar
figure etc., etc."
Whenever the boys get back from
the movies and grow ecstatic over the
charms of Lana Turner, Betty Grable,
Hedy Lamarr, this guy will grudging-
ly concede that perhaps those girls
are O.K. for the league they're in,
but really That Girl Back Home is
in a class by herself, he says, coining
a phrase. He then repeats ad nause-
um all the adjectives he has been
using throughout the year.
Then the night of the J-Hop comes
and with it the showdown. He pre-
sents That Girl to his pals. They are
usually polite and they tell her pleased
to meet you with a straight face.
Then when this guy and his girl
have left their company his pals
plunge into a thorough analysis of
the specimen of femininity which
they have observed. Remarks are
made which are such that boastful
boy would not like to hear if he
were present. "Does it really talk?"
one will ask. Others will plunge into
a bitter argument whether or not one
would be ashamed to take her to
a dog show on a pass. Usually the
dispute ends in a draw.
A slight variation of this kind of
pain in the neck is the chap who takes
a girl to the hop who is a University
coed and well known to the boys but
not well-appreciated by them.
He usually apologizes by describing
the ravishing beauty back home who
was all set to come to Ann Arbor for
the weekend but at the last minute
found she had to have her tonsils
taken out-or got an attack of lum-
bago-and couldn't make it.

({
I

" r/ s " f i V V V " a t " " r


Graduation's The Thing
One of the persons attending to-
night's party will be Thomas Dudley
(Graduation's the thing) Harmon.
He will be attending with Margot
Thom, '42.
It is contrary to Daily policy to
unnecessarily publicize Tom Harmon.
We've insulted him too often already.
There are several thousand Michi-
gan men who will not attend the fes-
tival. Their names are available upon
request.
Volney H. Jones, University of
Michigan anthropologist, is studying
refuse at an old New Mexican mis-
sion to learn what the early Span-
iards ate.

"What you want at the Price you want to Iay"
MEN'S TOGGERY
EVERYTHING FOR THE MAN
514 EAsr LiEsry in /h GREENE Bttt. . . . PtONE 9068

I


According to
S(fllf & Bush, youire
ntot well-d ressed
unles you feel .
Stein Bloch Clothing
offers you that solution.
Sold exclusively in Ann Arbor

IT PAYS TO
DRESS CORRECTLY
FOR EACH OCCASION.

at Saffell & Bush.
When certain Big Moments come along in a man's college life
a fellow likes to look his best. And looking one's best means
feeling completely at ease - Master of the situation - You can
not do it in clothing that fits improperly - So be dressed cor-
rectly by Saffell & Bush in Stein Bloch Clothes.

Saturday night special
For Good Food ... Go To The Union
Dinner in the Main Dining Room
Service from 6:00 until 8:00 o'clock
Late Snacks
Tap Room open until 1:30
Serve Self - Everything Good To Eat.
MICHIGfN UNION