Saturday, February. 11, 1939
THE MICHIGAN DAILY
Pane Seven
guoFe ry ,9 E I I DA
4
MICHIGAN DAILY
J-HOP STAFF
Managing Editor . ...Robert D. Mitchel
City Editor ........ Horace W. Gilmore
Editorial Director ......Albert P. Mayio
J-Hop Editor .............Joseph Gies
Assistant .............. Earl R. Gilman
Supporting Cast: Morton Linder, Carl
Petersen, Marian Ferguson, Mary Ellen
Spurgeon, Helen Corman, Roy Heath,
Pete Lisagor, Robert I. Fitzhenry, Ad-
rienne ltauchwerger, Morton Janel,
Harry Kelsey, Jay McCormick and one
or two others.
Business Manager .. Philip W. Buoehen
Credit Manager .. Leonard Siegelma
Advertising Manager . William Fewnan
J-Hop IssueY
Business Manager ...... Paul R. Park
Local Advertising
Manager ............ Irvig G ttman
Service Manager ...... James Nielson
Classified Advertising
Manager .......... Thomas Heenahans
Publications Manager ... Jack Cooney
Circulation Manager .. Robert Gilmour
Accounts Manager ..... Donald Richey
Promotion Manager .... Volney Morin
National Advertising
Manager ............... Julius Aisner
women's
Business Manager .Zenovia Skoratk
Women's
Advertising Manager Constance Bryant
ASSISTANTS: Patricia Mathews, Jane
Mowers, Robert Wagner, Robert Frie
tag, Jane Krause, Harry Kirby, Harvey
Willens.
A Great Big
J-Hop To You
To the class of 1940 the Daily ex-
tends its heartiest wishes for an en-
joyable J-Hop weekend and a hangover
that won't prevent class attendance for
more than the first half of next week,
The J-Hop, as everyone knows, orig-
inated in 1862 when the junior class,
about to leave for the Civil War, de-
cided to have a little fun first. The
main reason that the junior class had
continued the custom since then is that
all college students think they ought to
have at least one big weekend before
graduating. The advantage of having
the big blow-off in the junior year is
that it takes two years of college to get
properly prepared for such an event,
and if the thing is postponed till the
senior year the class has thinned out
pretty badly.
Anyway, a merry J-Hop to all, and to
all a good-night.
Our Blushing
Color Scheme
The color in which this edition is
printed is sure to attract some atten-
tion, so we affix this as an explanatory
note.
We had our choice of pink, sky-blue,
turquoise, emerald green or old gold. We
picked pink because we thought it
would look nice.
The choice has absolutely nothing to
do with the Daily's alleged radical
proclivities or with the sunsets in Platte.
PROBABLE
Some astute entomologist recently
came to the conclusion that a jitterbug
is not an insect but a human being try-
ing to act like one.
YouOfM
By See Terry
THE "L" SLOWED DOWN as it pulled
into the 63rd street station. Four
young fellows, reeking of pomade and
Kresge talcum, stood on the moving
platform, glancing at their watches and
pleading with the conductor to open
the gates so they might get a running
start against the milling mob. Wher
finally the "L" had lurched to a stop
and the conductor had spitefully taken
his time to open the gates, the quartet
plunged into the waiting crowd, bowl-
ing over a lady carrying a baby, upset-
ting a pert young thing in an orange
organdie formal that swept up cigarette
butts and sputifn in its wake, and driv-
ing a portly burgher against the rail-
ing.
Down the stairs they darted, shouting
now: "Two minutes, men! Let's turn it
on!" Through the Sabbath eve crowd
on 63rd they plowed, through the shuf-
fling throng, sidestepping like bare-
feet in a pasture, pushing by wayward
obstacles, and on at least two occa-
sions doing inestimable damage to
maidenly dgnities. A large neon sign
halfway down the block blinked its in-
vitation: "'lANCING," and another
glance at the clock revealed the time
as 8:29. "A minute to go, nen!" A
stream of patent apologies, accompanied
by the chipped curses of frustrated men,
followed this last leg of a memorable
flight. As the boys reached the blazing
marquee and flung open the ornate
doors, the clock in the ticket window
slipped over to 8:30. Slapping down
four quarters on the marble ledge sim-
ultaneously, the quartet watched the
lady punch out four tickets and then'
reach up to change the admission sign.
As she displaced the two-bit sign with'
one reading 65c, the boys looked at one
another, sighed audibly and went in.
Now they could buy some broad a beer.
It was young Terry's first ballroom
foray, an event, mind you, of no small
significance in the light of subsequent
happenings. For that initial experience,
like the first pinch of snow to a hop-
head, left its mark on the youth. The
swirling lights, vari-colored and subtle;
the mingled odors of sachet, violet, rose,
and sweat; the sloe-eyed, wide-eyed,
leery-eyed, bleary-eyed dollies; tall and
skinny, short and fat, pallid and florid;
formal dresses of violent hues, hanging
formlessly, like gunny sacks full of cot-
ton; the sailors and tough .guys with
their collars open; the orchestra and its
smiling leader, whose wife, an underfed
jane in red gown, sings such tunes as
"The Birth of the Blues,""'Way Down
Younder in New Orleans," "After You're
Gone," and "Paradise"-all those things
enveloped young Terry and made of him
a ballroom addict.
He learned the Lindy Hop at the
Sasino Moderne, the Shag at Pershing's,
the Susie-Q at White City, Truckin' at
the Savoy; and then he heard about
the smart Lambeth Walk, he shaved, in-
stead of undergoing the customary ritu-
al of merely covering the short stubbles
of beard with powder, and went ap-
prehensively to the Aragon-where he
picked up the rudiments of the Lam-
beth Walk from a little bundle of fun
named Sadella, who lived in Humboldt
Park and chewed blackjack gum, and
thought he was cute, and would he buy
her a Tom Collins. And she liked Jan
Garber. That was enough to send Terry
back to the cheaper dives, convinced
that the broads in the "smarter" joints
were on a husband hunt.
Then Terry came to college, equipped
with every dance and its variation in
the catalogue. He had a smart line o
chatter, as lines in the big town go,
and he could spot a wet blanket after
one dance. He visualized, with a delight
bordering on "hallucinatory hysteria,"
the elevating partners he could choose,
broads who could converse about every-
thing from Freud to Father Coughlin
rThe FLYIN
TRAPEZE
By Roy Heath
Don't think that just because I am a
shattered old derelict, sitting back in
the corner with dark glasses and butter-
milk, that I do not know anything about
J-Hops. I am sitting back in the corner
to keep people from stepping on my
corns. I am wearing the glasses to ease
my eyes and drinking buttermilk to
placate a number of boils which I have
on the bottom of my stomach.
If you want to know how I came to
my present condition, it is from going
to J-Hops. I have a whole room full of
J-Hop souvenirs which resembles a mu-
seum of the first World War. There
are three teeth mounted on a piece of
shin bone, four old J-lop group pictures
in which I figure prominently because I
was asleep on the floor, and a black-
jack which I used to use for re'trieving
.my plug hat, to name only a few of the
objects which I salvaged from the fray.
To say I don't know anything about
J-Hops is like saying that Max Schnel-
ing doesn't know anything about Joe
Louis. In fact that is a very fitting com-
parison. I have written several books
on the topic and if you have never read
them you probably aren't the worse for
it. My masterpiece was "Fifteen For-
mations For Rushing The Bandstand"
or "What To Do Till The Doctor Comes."
J-Hop, as Caeser always used to say
about Gaul, is divided into three parts.
(Omnia J-Hopia in tres partes divisa
et). The divisions of the Hop cam-
paign are: Preparation, Participation
and Recuperation. The success or fail-
ure of the whole undertaking depends
on the first division. In fact, if the first
or Preparation stage is handled prop-
erly, it will be unnecessary to deal with
the Participation. Recuperation will be-
come the following step and you won't
even need to worry your aching head
about the Hop proper.
However, we will take the three up in
their logical order. In Prparation you
first arrange for the party of the sec-
ond part or the date. You call up the
and back to Freud again, brightening the
dance with carefully chosen bon mots,
gagging him with wit. Terry bought a
new razor, and a styptic pencil so he
wouldn't have to paste tissue paper on
every cut. Cheek to cheek with a learned
doll was a privilege granted only to a
chosen few, and he didn't want to muff
the opportunity.
But as it must to all men, disillusion-
ment came to young Terry. Stags were
persona non grata at the Union dances,
at the League, at the special brawls
promoted on the campus, and Terry
was hanged if he'd take a broad to a
dance. That's where guys went to meet
'em, not take 'em. He grew up in the
school that made an art of analyzing
each girl as they glided along, deducting
whether she worked in a law office
downtown or poured molasses in a
trough in the sugar factory or slung
hash in Thompson's, wangling her name,
likes, dislikes, etc. There was a fatal
fascination about it all. Let others meet
the broad first, he'd wait. And wait he
did, until he heard about the Moose
and Armory. Terry frequented the place
so often he was presumed to have come
with the lease. He got so he could call
every town gal in town by her first
name, and inquire after her old man's
health. His resistance to dating for a
dance remained as ever unyielding, un-
compromising.
At last reports Terry was doing all
right for himself. And he expects to go
to the J-Hop-Saturday morning. He's
got a job cleaning up the joint. He'll
be a little tired, maybe, when he gets
to work that morning. Depends on what
time he gets home from the Armory
Friday night.
girl you would take if you could and
then forget about her. Make arrange-
ments with the one you know you are
going to take. This procedure will leave
you with two dates but the problem will
take care of itself in due time. After
you have acquired a partner for the
coming Armageddon a ticket is the next
consideration. The simple manner in
which to handle the ticket is not to get
one or else forge one. Buying one is
out of the question.
The day before the Hop, hock every-
thing you own. C'mon . . cough up
that watch. Don't kid yourself, it will
cost just double what you think it will.
On the night of the battle you should
prepare a sort of a pick-me-up to sip
when the going gets rough. It consists
of six parts Scotch, one part pure alco-
hol, three parts extract of Tiger blood
and four parts iron pyrites. That makes
fourteen parts. If you want it a little
stronger add parts to taste.
When you have been properly rein-
forced by Heath's special J-Hop mix-
ture, you start out for the I-M building.
That should be in the neighborhood of
12 o'clock. Rugged individuals have
been known to come at 11 but there
is no point in it. At the I-M where
Icontinued on Page 8)
SCREEN
'The wild and by now moth-eaten
West furnishes the theme for unlinited
Hollywood variations which the local
theatres offer this week-end. Step
right up and see the latest hoss operas.
Years ago, the moving picture producers
went in for a certain amount of realism.
Today with increased facilities in trans-
portation and communication, the hero
need only have a fair amount of good
looks and Sam Goldwyn for producer
and he is set.
If you happen to walk in late for The
Cowboy and the Lady the plot will not
hinder the enjoyment of this little opus.
As any regular movie-goer can deduce
from the title, the story (for lack of a
better word which, can be printed) is
about the cowboy andthe lady. Yes,
the lady is rich, yes, the cowboy falls
in love with her, yes he doesn't know
that she is rich, yes they part and
come together; yes they live happily ever
after. Yes, yes, yes. If Gary Cooper
expects to graduate into smart sophisti-
cated comedies his best bet is to play in
a few more pictures like the Cowboy.
Fro mthe seat on the aisle, his chances
look more than favorable. The Cowboy
and his lady are displayed daily from
Saturday at the Majestic.
Jesse James-Ferdinand De-Lesseps
-Lloyds of London-Tyrone Power
snarls and struts his way through this
rip-roaring picture which incidentally
has some redeeming feature; the lead-
ing lady, Nancy Kelly, has looks and
charm and can act, the technicolor is
used effectively and there is a particu-
larly good scene when Jesse robs his
first train. As one of the local wits
suggested, "if only Jesse had died in
the first 30 or 40 minutes, it would have
been a good picture." To this I re-
luctantly agree but sugges that the
time be cut down to 15 minutes with
time out for smoking.
The big campaign to build up Robert
Taylor as a he-man is an overwhelming
success as far as your corerspondent is
concerned. I dare anyone to disparage
Mr. Taylor's ability to hold his own in
fisticuffs. If he can take on Barton
Maclane, Chalres Bickford and Wallace
Beery, I'm convinced and will put my
money on the Taylor kid any day. You
can have fun guessing the cliches in
this picture too Stand Up And Fight
so your correspondent regretfully leaves
the plot to you and sorrowfully takes
leave as the sun sets in the Pacific
and Atantic oceans (colossal idea
straight from Sam himself).
- Adrienne.