Februoary 11, 1939 T H E. M i CH I GAN DAILY Pae Five Febrary 1, 939 HE ICHIAN-AILYp,,. C 1-i V A Prehistoric Melodrama J ava Goes To T he J'- FIop ..P By Eugene OPtre Pi thecanth ropus Jones Has His Big, Night Gala Event Of Neolithic Age, Or Is It Oligocene? - Anyway It's Plenty Prehistoric (The scene is a cave. Mr. and Mrs. Neanderthal Mann are seen seated on neighboring stalagmites. It is a blus- tery winter day, and a roaring fire is going in the entrance to the Mann men- age to discourage visitors and other ani- mals. The Mann's daughter, Java, re- clines drooling on an igneous couch, gnawing lifelessly on a beef bone. A peculiar drumming noise is heard off- stage, at which Java sits up all atten- tion, listens for a moment, then springs to her feet with a delicate howl). Java-Eeyowippeel perking up! (He grabs the beef bone she has been gnawing and grinds off a little gristle). Mrs. Mann-What is it, Java? (She NOW TYRONE POWER in Jesse James' Matinees Saturday 2 - 3:50 p.m. Starts Sunday - ROBERT TAYLOR WALLACE BERRY "Stand Up and Fight" Prehistoric J-Flopper I JAVA MANN Mr. Mann-Well, Java seems to be tries to seize the bone from Mr. Mann, but he biffs her on the beezer and she beats a bloody retreat). Java-Didn't you hear the Inter-Cave Communication Co. Just then? That was Pithecanthropus Jones out in the Ice Age. He just invited me to the J- Flop. Papa, you'll have to go out and kill a dinosaur because I simply can't wear this old lizard skin to that! (Java, with a lightning grab of her paw, seizes the beef bone, clunks papa softly on the coco with it and gambols lightly to the far end of the cave, singing "The Oli- gocene Rag," while papa sulkily picks up his club and stalks out to get his poor daughter a skin, H. (The scene now shifts to the Ice Age and we see the interior of a cave on the walls of which are scratched peculiar triangular designs. Stone jugs litter the floor and a hairy mass in one cor- ner, scratching itself with a saber tooth stirs and mutters to another lump of hair). Pithecanthropus Jones -Well, ya wanna sell me that ticket to the J- Flop? His Roomy-Gotta date? Pithecanthropus Jones-Yeah, name of Java Mann. Lives in Advanced Ice Age. Gonna cost me plenty of flints to bring her here. Roomy-Give ya my ticket for 10 flints. (Pithecanthropus Jones gets up, en- raged at that offer, takes his sabre tooth and jams it into his roomy's neck. He picks up the ex-roomy, throws him out the door of the cave, then rummages 'around on the floor where the roomy had been lying. He picks up a flat piece of rock with numerals scratched on it, kisses it, and tucks it into his skin -the one he's wearing, that is. Mean- while savage growls sound outside the cave indicating that the monsters from the Forest of the Deans are gorging on the ex-roomy's carcass. Pithecanthro- pus Jones smiles sardonically, sinks to the floor and gazes dreamily into the inner reaches of the cave mumbling, "Java, my little sugar and cream," un- til he falls into a drooling sleep, his head pillowed on a mouldy dinosaur carcass). M. (The scene now changes to the night of the great event. Pithecanthropus Jones is shown standing uncomfortably against the wall of a particularly mouldy cave. Over his head hangs a tattered wine and blue banner inscribed with tarnished hieroglyphics, indicating that this is the Pi Beta Phi cave. Standing around the wall are several females, all wearing old lizard skins and looking longingly at Pithecanthropus Jones. These are the members of Pi Beta Phi. None of them are going to the J-Flop. After a long interval during which the girls look from Pithecanthropus Jones to one another and grit their saber teeth in mortification, Java, a cousin of one of the members, comes out from the far recesses of the cave. The light from the fire reflects becomingly from her polished teeth which sweep grace- fully from her upper lip down over her chest. She is wearing a dinosaur skin which one can tell is new because several of Mr. Mann's fingers can be seen in the teeth of the head which forms a " charming bustle. She is wearing a de- lightful wimple of behemoth skin which is entwined in her hair and dangles en- ticingly over her eyes. She flashes her teeth at Pithecanthropus Jones who comes over to join her. As they leave the cave, several of the girls who have been standing against the wall, reach out to tear at Java's new skin and to scratch her old skin, screaming and jabbering in rage, but Pithecanthropus Of 'CORSETS" the Finest! Remember 8 NICKELS ARCADE 4 a, * swings around lustily with a juicy beef bone which he brought for Java to wear in her hair, despite the current ruling, and the happy pair lumber off to the J-Flop). IV. (A giant, high-vaulted cave, from which the stalagmites have been re- moved is the scene of the final act. We see Pithecanthropus Jones and Java Mann entering the cave which is murk- ily lighted by numerous fires, whose smoke contributes to the air of mystic enchantment which hangs over the cave. Pithecanthropus Jones stands open- mouthed, gazing at the gay scene and the couples who jiggle around the cen- ter of the floor, stepping on one anoth- er's feet, jabbing-each other in the ribs with their elbows and occasionally de- livering thwacking blows to each others' skulls with the ever-present clubs. On either side of the cave small groups of men pound tom-toms and yowl un- musically, yet their efforts pass un- noticed in the clamor on the floor, Java surreptitiously eyes the dresses of the other girls, among whom the new creations of dinosaur, brontosaurus, tri- cerotops, skunk and landladies' skins predominate. Pithencanthropus Jones comes out of his daze long enough to re- mark as follows): Pithencanthropus Jones: Jees, swell, huh? (Continued on Page 6) "Forget About the British- Let's Go to FLAUTZ Cafe If a man wants to get up in the middle of the night and go horseback riding, that's his business - but we fancy that Paul Revere would have spent his time to better advantage enjoying' a delicious, satisfy- ing meal here. So many peo- ple like our food! For insansce: BEEF TENDERLOIN with Mushrooms 65c Closed Every Monday Bottled BEER Draught & WINE Flautz Cafe 122 West Washington Corner Ashley Hours 11 A.M. - 12 P.M. Lunch 11-4 p.m... Dinner 4-8 fill 1I ALL J-HOP PICTURES by ROBERT L. GACH Co. (The Arcade Camera Shop) 14 Nickels Arcade, Phone 9028 Plans are under way for our new Portrait Studio. Watch for announcement of this additional service by "Bob" Gach.