4

AGE TWO

THE SUMMER MICHIGAN DAILY SATURDAY, AUGUST :

_~_._._

Published every morning except Monday
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boots, a high cowboy hat, Mexican
spurs, and buckskin gloves comprised
the ensemble, and when one remem-
bers the handsome figure and impress-
ive presence of the great president one
can easily understand why the assem-
blage cheered when he appeared on the
platform-no one accused cowboys of
lacking a sense of humor.
But then, our most famous cowboy
is not planning to run for re-election,
he says, and we cannat therefore ac-
cuse him of another publicity stunt.
But when the hardy pioneers who
made the West rode over those trails
surrounded by hazards and not pfo-
tected by a corps of secret service
men, their deeds were not heralded
from coast to coast. Truly great
achievements, however, came from the
work of those men; achievements
which made the nation over which
Coolidge presides. When we run short
of things to laud, then, why not re-
member the men who made the West
rather than those who visit it?
A PERFECT RECORD
Not many persons have heard of
Mike Luscovich, and not much has
been previously said about this gentle-
man. Yet of all the persons in the
United States, Mike is no doubt the

Accounts........... John Ruswinckel only one who has achieved a perfect
Assistants record in his profession, and while
C. T. Antonopulos . S. S. Berar his profession is rather a unique one,
G. W. Platt perfection is so rare as to deserve
more than passing notice.
Night Editor-T. E. SUNDERLAND The profession which Luscovich fol-
SATURDAYAUGUST13,1lows is that of. a vagrant. It is only
AT A Atwo days since his last arrest, in New
York state, completed his record of
---------- ------ - 48 states and the Dominion of Canada
THE WRECK OF THE HESPERUS and made him an enviable mark in
Whatever reputation Longfellow the annals of criminal justice. Mike,
as vagrants go, what is more, is still
may have had as a poet has now been' a comparatively young man, just pass-
shattered, and the New England bard!d.,
ed 39, and what his affect as an un-
might as well rest in an unmarked official ambassador to foreign countries
grave, for the United S'tates Coast and will be after he enters the larger and
Geodetic survey has disclosed that international field is difficult to con-
there never was any wreck of the template.
Some narrow minded persons there
Hesperus, at least not at the place
are, of course, who would say that
where Longfellow said it was, and there must be something wrong with
from a historical standpoint the record our system of criminal justice when
of Mr. Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, a man can be in jail in 48 states be-
once famed as a poet, is shattered. fore reaching the age of 40. Yet there
The revelation comes as a distinct is little excuse for this attitude, as
shock to those who still had some any prison reformer can tell you, be-
small amount of respect for the de- cause after all criminals are to be
lightful verses of the former poet, for pitied rather than punished, and Mike
it casts a doubt on the authenticity of will be released in six months or so
all of his works. Perhaps the next again in order to continue his re-
thing that will happen is the dregging markable record. If the convictions
of some harbor to see if The Children's of this gentleman cost the state five
Hour ever existed, and when this myth I dollars apiece, which is extremely con-
is exploded the engineers from the servative, he has already cost the tax-
coast guard can drag the countryside payers of the nation almost $250 for
for the existence of the village black- convictions laone. This sum would pay
mith. It is probable that neither of tuition for two deserving students at
these things will be found, and then the University of Michigan, with,
Longfellow, who has previously given enough left over to buy most of theirI
so much pleasure and entertainment books, and the fiasco promises to be
to the world through his work, will carried even further gecause Lusco-
entirely be discredited, and his name vich is above all an ambition gentle-
will certainly be omitted from the role men,.and on his release in six months
of American literary men. will no doubt embark on an even more
As long as the government has ent- strenuous campaign of prison breaking
ered in the business of verifying lit- from the outside.
erary events it may as well settle a From a purely financial standpoint
long line of possible delusions. It it would pay us to confine our crimin-
could begin with an attempt to verify als who are repeters. It may be nice
the Paul Bunyon tales, and then the and kind to let them go, but it is un-
Autocrat of the Breakfast table should sound, as 47 other states found after
certainly be substatntiated as a real the first onegave Luscovich a parole.
character if literature is to retain its _
prestige. When it finishes with the
jobs at home it could go abroad and CAMPUS OPINION
probe for the existence of Don Juan, Anonymous communications will be
disregarded. The names of communi-
and then verify Gunga Din, and inves- cants will, however, be regarded as
tigate hundreds of other doubtful eonfidential upon request.
cases.
When this titanic task is finished, FORD'S STATEMENT

ROLLS 1
ATTENDS
ClATAxuQlA
Part One:
Properties necessary for attendance
at Clhatauqua: Adequate bodyguard,
(preferably blonde), three cases of
Flit, the mosquitos' enemy, sense of
humor, $1.041 (with allowance for body-
guard), evening to waste.
Part Two:-
AChatauqua is located in a tent
near the outskirts of town.. All of
the persons from the sub-normal city
are present, and when one is three-
quarters of an hour late he has to sit
toward the rear. On ,entering each
customer receives his flock of mos-
quitoes and program.
Part Three:--
Upon entering one sees some lights
at the further end of the tent. Be-
hind the lights are some Russian
dancers (so-called dancers). A pano
is also behind the lights and one of
the dancers is working, on the key-
board with dire results. No one is
throwing pennies. .This is educatiouna-
Part Four:-
Russian so-called dance act comes
to close amid riots of applause and
snores. Leader of Rolls' mosquito
flock finds way down behind collar
Rolls delegate to Chatauqua applies I
coercion to first mosquito, but is de-
nounced by bodyguard for brutality
as mosquito perishes. Mosquitoes
don't care for blondes. None of thei
are gentlemen.
Part Five:-
GENTLEMEN ENTERS behind light
spot. Rolls' bodyguad opines that it
is handsome gentlemen. Rolls dis-
agrees but blondes are irreparably
stubborn. Gentleman commences to
speak. Mosquitoes make rapid pro-
gress in caravan down back of Rolls'
delegate. Coercion fails.
Part Six:-
GENTLEMAN .SPEAKS: "Ladies and
Gentlemen and the Delegate from
Rolls," he says. "This is, as you
may know already, a chatauqua. I
hope you will all speak to us on the
street. Speak to us first becausewe
may not recognize you. My name is
(Lost amid cheers)." (Blonde
bodyguard makes notation of tele-
phone number). "I like pie. In fact
at Oshkosh, Indiana, where we came
from, they said I was pious' (Retires
amid cheers, snores and egg from
Rolls delegate. Blondes always were
gullible).
Part Seven:-
* **
MISTER WHITNEY, reader, enters
light spot. Mosquitoes making rapid
progress in entrenching themselves.
Coercion fails. Blonde sees moth.
Blond mistakes moth for bat. Rolls
become hero. Blond forgets handsome
announcer. Mister Whitney is still
pleading with the children in the front
rows to keep quiet. Children finally
fall asleep froiin exhaustion. Mister
Whitney proceeds.
Part Eight-
* * *
MISTER WHITNEL making rapid
proceeding. Flock of mosquitoes be-
gins working on bodyguard. Coercion
applied. Flock deserts blonde for
more tolerant field. Blond laughs at
smart remark made by Rolls. Rest
of audience gives intolerant stares,
Blonde is not under influence of liquor.
just congenial. Blond- laughs again.
Part of audience moves away. Mos-
quitoes start offensive up left arm.
* * *
PartW ine:-
MISTER WHIITNE Y RAPDY near

lug close. Several persons still
awake, including Rolls, but not from
listening. Dramatic climax in Mister
Whitney's play is reached. Handker-
chiefs produced. Flit fails to deter
mosquitoes. Advance guard reaches
elbow. "You're a regular guy," says
Mister Whitney (This is a play) "and
the curtain falls on the last act." Mis-
ter Whitney has audience awakened
and retires amid thunderous applause.
* * *
Part Ten:
Rolls, its bodyguard, and mosquitoes
gather for exit. Bodyguard finds It'
necessary to wait at door in order!
that someone else from its public
speaking classes will see her and ver-
ify her presence. "Gentlemen Prefer
Blonds' is augmented by "Professors
Don't Trust Them.' No one else from
public speaking class is there so Teri-
fiaction fails. Rolls presents blond
with seat checks for proof. Mosquitoesj
make rapid progress in Wilderness
campaign.
Part Seven:-
ROLLS ASSISTS bodyguard through
fields to sidewalk. Chatauqua said to
be over as crowd leaves. Mosquitoes
also leave. Rolls concludes investiga-
tion of Chatauqua. Rolls decides
against public speaking as a. pipe
courser Official report lost as body-
guard occupies attention of Rolls on
way home.

-
Saunder's Canoe Livery
is open until 12 o'clock on
Saturday Night
There is a Full Moon Tonight!
II ND Of the Season Sale 1

a
o
0
0
0
0..
9

of Summer Dresse0s
We have a number of very pretty
frocks that are good hot days as
well as fall wear. These summer
mtodels of flowered chiffons are
lovelyfor the evening dance. Many
of these dresses have been marked
as high as $25 but are reduced to
clear out our shelves for the fall
season. Make this your opportun-
ity to purchase one of these smart
frocks.

man will
tide in

7What the
well-dressed

$

'.95

. __ ,,
f
1 i
l
t

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float down the highway with the
comfort of the Twentieth Century
... Four-wheel brakes will ease
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without the screaming of steel or
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It will fit into your vacatio
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-will arouse shrieks of u -peria
ties from feainine lips. And why
not? A saucy coupe for four-in-
spiced by continentl idea---body
designed by ieukh; chasti by
studakec -truly a-ttle Aria.
wcrrt. " Trim as an oil king's yacht
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Plan your summner on whel-
S aE ineSpwtCoupl
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ERSKINE SIX SPORT COUPE
$991.
C ,cSadanS ,p; BftusssC,4v$gA
E RS K/NE
SIX
t UT 1 'L E /ARISTO'CRAT )q

-I

i

In this group are many printed
and floweredchiffons, fresh flmny
frocks for mid summer wear. We
advise your immediate selection.
They are such excellent valaes
you'll want to purchase several.
Chic, new and sumart are these
frocks. Two-piece sport figures.
flares, jabots, dainty lace and in-
broidery trimmings. Just the clever
styles you have been looking for.
Coyne and be the first to choose.
Second Floor

~A~f~5

222 S. Main

Phone -161

~



"That's the ticket!"

' . A

A welcome summo
best thing any ciga
give - natural tabs

our government, with its newly found To the Editor:-
passioh for accuracy, might turn to Henry Ford's statement condemning
the less conesquently things, and ex- capital pnishment and especially re-
plain what happened to the Couzen's
tax money, and whether there ever commending that Sacco and Vanzetti
was any real- agitation for farm relief be not electrocuted must win the ap-
or a Boulder Canyon dam. When these proval of all who consider the matter
things are all done there, are literally carefully. It agrees with the opinion
dozens more that the survey bureau of the entire French press which
could handle. ; whether royalist or communist, wheth-
After all, however, the facts about or democratic or socialist has protest-
these aesthetic governmental things ed against Governor Fuller's refusal
are not half as necessary as clear cold to granot another trial. Professor
,definitions of poetical occurrences. In Frankfurter of the Harvard Law
literature we need facts and expect Schooi has shown that Sacco annd
them, and the Wreck of the Hesperus Vanzetti are probably innocent; the
certainly cannot live realistically in report of the committee appointed by
_~ ;-vonrl llr chn hn iall

)ns to the
rette can
aicco taste - .

I

literature if it did not actually occur. '"uovernor v un 0flsnows LnL inLau
In government it is different, however, cases where they had to choose be-
for such things as governments need, tween the statements of conflicting
not be operated on a practical basis witnesses they prefered those who
to be effective, as has been many times i were unfavorable to the accused.
shown. Too much praise cannot be As Henry Ford pointed out repeat-
given to the Geodetic and Coast survey jedly capital punishment is a remnant
for their brilliant discovery. ; of the barbaric ages; in this particular
case where the guilt is highly ques-
COWBOY COOLIDGE ON HIS HORSE tionable electrouction would disgrace
Calvin Coolidge, America's cowboy our nation in the eyes of the whole
president, has recently descended into civilized world.
the limelight once again, as he has so Francis L. Onderdonk.
rarely done in the past, and this time
it was by riding a horse to Keystone We are glad to read that Michigan
mountain or somewhere in order to students have to take in a special
give a speech while Gutzon Borglum tour of the state prison to get
started a monumaent to the four great acquainted with the place.
presidents of the United States (ex-
cluding Mr. Coolidge). To read the papers you would think
The speech wasn't brilliant enough that students would be more likely
to attract attention, but Mr. Coolidge's to have to take a sightseeing tour of

NIo other cigarette offers
a like measure of natural
qualities, naturalness of
character, purity of taste,
and genuine tobacco good-
ness. Natural tobacco taste
gives all that-and then

"1

2'

Chestyeld
4 j f4 /i* aand yet, they're- MILD