- The Michigan Daily - Friday, November 10, 1995

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BRENT MCINTOSH

420 Maynard
Ann Arbor, MI

Street
48109

Edited and managed by
students at the
University of Michigan

MICHAEL ROSENBERG
Editor in Chief
JULIE BECKER
JAMES M. NASH
Editorial Page Editors

How to regserfort
37619 difficult, Au

Unless otherwise noted, unsigned editorials reflect the opinion of a majority of1the Daily's editorial board. All
other articles, letters, and cartoons do not necessarily reflect the opinion of The Michigan Daily.
Let te voters dec"id
Et ovods
Engler's plan to oust regent oversteps bounds

In what may be the year's best act of
Ipolitical irony, Gov. John Engler has reaf-
firmed his intentions to bring the University
Board of Regents under his personal control.
Engler stated recently that he will not support
longtime Regent Deane Baker's (R-Ann Ar-
bor) bid for renomination in September of
1996.
Engler's announcement is ironic because
politically, he and Baker share many views
- and both have little or no understanding of
proper University governance. However, the
means of Engler's plan must not be tolerated,
no matter how justifiable the end.
In his time as regent, Baker has exhibited
in astounding disregard for equality and fair-
ness in higher education. A blatant
liomophobe, he was the only regent in 1993
to vote against adding sexual orientation to
the University's nondiscrimination policy,
and has made public comments disparaging
the "homosexual lifestyle." Baker's
'unprofessionalism also surfaced during the
last presidential search in 1988. Near the end
of the .selection process, he torpedoed the
candidacy of finalist Vartan Gregorian with
a late-night telephone call warning Gregorian
.hat if he were selected, he would find no
support from Baker while serving as presi-
,dent. Gregorian subsequently withdrew from
the search. In addition, while Baker has con-
sistently been the only regent to oppose a
code of non-academic conduct, he does so
not out of principle but due to a lack of
understanding of what the document really
it, detracting from the case against the code.
Baker's time as a regent should end. How-
ever, Engler's motives have little to do with
the regent's 23-year record of service to the
University. Rather, they are merely an exten-
sion of his quest to consolidate his hold on
higher education. In recent months Engler
lias expressed his belief that the governor
should have power to appoint regents of the
University of Michigan, Michigan State Uni-
,versity and Wayne State University. Regents
of these institutions - the state's largest -

are elected statewide according to the Michi-
gan Constitution. Changing this system would
give one individual excessive control over
the three universities. More immediately,
Engler has invoked term limits in calling for
Baker's ouster, arguing that three eight-year
terms are enough. This claim ignores the
basis of democracy: People should elect of-
ficials they support, and vote out the ones
they do not.
Engler also holds tightly to the accusation
that Baker, along with Regents Rebecca
McGowan (D-Ann Arbor) and Laurence
Deitch (D-Bloomfield Hills), forced Presi-
dent James J. Duderstadt to resign in Sep-
tember. Though the regents and Duderstadt
have repeatedly denied these allegations,
Engler Press Secretary John Truscott spe-
cifically mentioned the "forced" resignation
among Engler's reasons for refusing to sup-
port Baker next fall. In the six weeks since
the president's announcement, no evidence
has surfaced to support these insinuations,
despite Truscott's earlier assertions that in-
formation would come out "soon." Without
support for this conspiracy theory, Engler's
disdain for Baker has little foundation.
Engler's shallow, power-hungry actions,
if unchallenged, will set a dangerous prece-
dent. If he manages to oust Baker under the
premise of term limits or the regent's per-
sonal record, what will stop him from dis-
missing any other regent in the future? Engler
clearly has no intention of stopping with
Baker - he will continue to fight the
University's autonomy at every possible cor-
ner, until the Board of Regents is no more
than a group of puppets who cringe under the
governor's thumb.
For Baker to leave office in 1997 would
be a long-overdue benefit for students. His
record as regent is a blemish on the face of
University governance. But Engler is not the
person to make that decision. It is up to the
people of Michigan to evaluate Baker's record
and then remove him from office the proper
way - with their votes.

here are 37,619 reasons to hate CRISP.
In a landmark study released yesterday,
distinguished research scientists at the Uni-
versity of Tampa presented documented,
footnoted and indisputable evidence of
37,622 reasons to hate the University's class
registration system. However, three of these
were immediately declared to contain politi-
cally incorrect speech in violation of the
Code and were revoked by the authors for
fear of being sent to Siberia without a trial.
So there are still a lot of reasons to loathe
CRISP. We all deplore the whole process.
Just like renewing a driver's license, having
an enema or losing football games to Michi-
gan State - all inevitable, all despicable.
There are many reasons I hate CRISP;
foremost among them ...
This whole credit-ranking debacle:
They can't just let us CRISP by credit hours.
That would be too easy. The University
can't let us do it the simple way - how
would the administration spend all that out-
of-state tuition if they did?
Instead, they have this contrived system
that makes the federal income tax form for
multinational trust funds look simplistic.
First, they take each student who has to
register for classes - that's most of us -
and randomly assign a 13-digit number. Then
they divide this number by the average cred-
its per half-term taken by the student, and
add the student's mother's age.
With this number, they assign the stu-
dent to one of 19 groups. The groups are then
sub-divided by shoe size, horoscope and
party preference in the 1984 presidential
election.
The groups' lists are then thrown in a
gaping trash bin on the third floor of Angell
Hall, and students are assigned CRISP ap-
pointments by drawing their names out of a
large hat once worn by Clint Eastwood in a
bad Western.

Despite these convolutions, they some-
how manage to bias the entire system
staunchly against Scottish-American males
who write Friday columns for the Daily.
Somehow, I always end up CRISPing so
late that there are high-school sophomores
and South American pack animals in line
ahead of me.
This has happened ever since I was a
freshman back in ...
The good old days: What was wrong
with a little wait? Or a long wait, for that
matter?
In my day, we didn't have cutesy phone-
in registration. We used to line up for hours,
just to earn the opportunity to be told every
class with a number above 114 was closed
and there were no waitlists, not now, not
ever. And we liked it.
People showed up for those stark, tragic
Angell Hall basement queues at 6:05 a.m.,
and not one of them had showered. That was
suffering. You, a seventh-year senior, might
have 185 credits and need only History of
Tibetan Pharmacological Theory 471 to fin-
ish your Honors triple major, but when the
shriveled lady at the terminal told you she
had just given out the last place in 471 to an
art history major who "needed an easy class
and thought 471 could be interesting," you
really just didn't care.
I' ve just spent five and a halfhours with
a bunch of people who smell like flatulating
swine," you'd reply. "As long as I'm out of
that line, I could care less if you burned my
house down and stole my collection of an-
tique FrisbeeTM flying disks."
The voice: Now, however, you stay in
bed as you make the fateful call. You gather
the key information, dial the number ... and
talk to a smooth female voice.
That's just not going to do.
I don't think these people realize: I'm
CRISPing at 8a.m. This is the worst possible

MCINTOSH CLASSICS
casses in
itefidsteps
CRISP time, worse than 5 p.m. on the final
day of registration. The last time I was up at
that hour of the morning, America had never
heard of Bill Clinton or Newt Gingrich
(maybe I should get up at 8 more often).
If I were dating the woman on the other
end of the CRISP voice, then the smooth,
sexy talk - the chocolate voice that's the
aural equivalent ofNyQuil -would be fine.
This, however, is not the case.
The voice needs to keep me awake
through the entire plodding process. It can-
not coax, cajole or smooth-talk me. It must
scream at me, harass me, frighten me.
I want it to tear into me: "I said to enter
your 10-digit student identification number,
not your high-school locker combination,
you incompetent little peon ... how'd an
inadequate freak like you ever get accepted
into this somewhat-prestigious school?" it
should yell into my newly awakened ear
canal/brain.
Inevitably, I wake up to CRISP - at 8
a.m. on the last possible day -and immedJ-
ately fall back into bed, sound asleep, after
listening to The Voice for a couple of drowsy
minutes.
I don't get the classes I want. Instead, I
get 100-level physics classes-fine ifyou'ro
a first-year engineering major, not so fine if
you're a senior economics concentrator.
I have learned how seventh-year seniors
are made: It's not a lack of credits, but the
wrong credits. Like methey just can't CRISP
successfully.
I'm not alone. There are thousands on
this campus who hate the registration pro-
cess as vehemently as I do.
When the revolution comes, whoever
came up with this whole "CRISP" concept
will be the first against the wall.
- Brent McIntosh can be reached at
mctosh@umich.edu, except at8 a.m.,
three weeks from now, when he CRISPs.



I

q

JIM LASSER SHARP A
O.J. SIMPSON
CIVIL LAW SUIT
# 106 .MYAME
IS 'U(NED.

TOAST

NOTABLE QUOTABLE
'It seems like
once people
grow up, they
have no Idea
what's cool.'
- Calvin and Hobbcs

t

Who's istening in.
FBI plan to expand wiretaps raises concerns
n a proposal outlined in the Federal Reg- tigation in the new world of digital technol-
ister publication, the Federal Bureau of ogy and cyberspace. In addition, judicial
lvestigation recently unveiled a $500 mil- authorization would still be needed for an>
Ion plan foranational wiretapping system of covert surveillance of transmissions. How
nprecedented magnitude. The report states ever, the crucial question for legislators anc
,tat due to more sophisticated means of re- citizens alike is: Why does the FBI suddenly
iying information - including cellular need this tremendous upgrade in capacity?
Phones and digital encoding - the FBI needs Unfortunately, the FBI is doing itself nc
revamp the way it conducts wiretaps, or favor by declining comment when asked.
tye electronic eavesdropping on suspects. This is inexcusable. When any law-enforce-
Because new digital phone cables can ment agency requests an enhancement in its
arry up to 20,000 conversations on one line, capacity to monitorthe U.S. population, ever
the FBI wants the means to target one conver- by modest amounts, it must justify clearly
ration among the many others. Cellular and concisely why it seeks an increase. The
phones, used increasingly by criminals, are FBI has yet to do so. If there is a legitimate
°irtually impervious to wiretap. The FBI need, such as changing technology, then ar
: would like to see phone companies make accommodation can be made. Often, the line
dhanges so the bureau can monitor these between a free society and a police state is
tansmissions when needed. tenuous. The FBI must make its intentions
m However, the FBI's request to radically public.
"enlargeits capacitytomonitor phone conver- When the Berlin Wall fell in 1990, East
rtions is troubling. According to the pro- Germans were amazed to discover that their
$sal, the goal is to be able to monitor simul- secret police, the Stasi, had the means to
4neously as much as 1 of every 100 phone eavesdrop on almost every telephone line in
,tnes, a stunning contrast to present use. In the country. The exposure of such a perva-
1993, the FBI conducted approximately 850 sive security network confirmed the
;court-authorized wiretaps-or about one for Orwellian nightmare that Communist rule
very 174,000 phone lines. came to represent. Could a similar nightmare
There is little doubt that the FBI needs the occur in this country? It is up to the FBI in this
means to conduct legitimate criminal inves- case to prove it will not.
JHOW TO CONTACT THEM

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LETTERS

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Discrimination
still thrives
in 'U' life
To the Daily:
I am writing in response to
Joel Heeres' letter of 10/23/95
("Affirmative action programs are
another form ofracism). I would
like to support the recognition
that a person's economic class
makes a difference in their life
chances. Certainly few people
would argue that an 18-year-old
student had much influence on
his or her family's economic sta-
tus and is either subject to or
privileged by factors that are gen-
erally not within their own con-
trol. Their parents, if citizens of
Michigan, have paid taxes for
many years to support the opera-
tion and growth of the universi-
ties in Michigan. They have a
right to expect that their children,
if properly qualified, should be
able to attend a public university
supported by all taxpayers.
Unfortunately. University ap-
plicants from working-class fami-
lies must face the fact that while
they make up 70 percent ofMichi-
gan families, only 30 percent of
University students will be from
those families (while 70 percent
of University students come from
families with incomes over
$45,000/year!). These same stu-
dents must also face the fact that
more than 34 percent of Univer-
-.4. 4.a r4 srlhla YY~ Ai'

to blatant racism, sexism, sexual
harassment and denigration of
homosexuals in the workplace and
even lost my job for refusing to
tolerate such prejudices and dis-
crimination.
If you haven't done so, try
actively seeking out and listening
openly to people of different
races, gender and sexual orienta-
tion and you will encounter sto-
ries that are appalling. Remem-
ber, racism and sexism are often
intended to be kept hidden from
sight or cleverly made to look
like "color-blindness" and so will
inevitably be less noticeable than
the affirmative action measures
meant to openly address those
disguised forms of discrimina-
tion.
Just because most of the hon-
est expressions of prejudice hap-
pen behind closed doors with only
white males around doesn't mean
it doesn't exist ... it does. Affir-
mative action is necessary be-
cause most positions of power in
society are still held by white
males whose prejudices can and
do harm women, racial minori-
ties and homosexuals through dis-
crimination.
Craig A. Stutzky
LSA senior
Chairperson, U-M Students
for Representative Diversity
WolvCorps
n'ritini'km

Wolverine Corps involves
community service and work
study money awarded to students
for this community service. This
has nothing to do with DPSwhich
is what the MSA executives
claimed. Students working for
DPS is a bad idea; students work-
ing in the Ann Arbor community
for federal work-study money is
a good idea.
As for WolvCorps being an
"unrealistic campaign sham," I
and the Wolverine Party disagree.
.Congressman Hoekstra's office
has said that it is a very realistic
idea and fits in with the plans of
the House Economic and Educa-
tional Committee. If the MSA
executives want to criticize other
plans, they should do so for better
reasons than to try to discredit an
opposition party as an election
tactic. It would be nice if the
elected MSA executives could
add constructive criticism instead
of engaging in petty campaign
accusations.
Andy Schor
Wolverine Party
LSA junior
Businesses
work against
environment
To the Daily:
I am writing in response to the
Dnil yrtil Pof nndv At T2

gress (many of whom have ex-
hibited a surprising lack of un-
derstanding of the issues relevant
to these bills and of the compo-
nents ofthe bills themselves), but
instead by industry representa-
tives and industry lobbyists. In
other words, some lawmakers
have turned the policy-making
process over to industries and
corporationsethat have vested in-
terests in the weakening of envi-
ronmental regulations.
Far from condoning this be-
havior, Rep. Rivers presented this
example in order to demonstrate
the influence that industry cur-
rently holds over the lawmaking
process and to highlight the fact
that these anti-environment bills
do not necessarily represent the
voice of lawmakers or of their
constituents.
In addition, Ms. Rivers ex-
plained that some ofthe proposed
regulatory reform and risk assess-
ment legislation would prohibit
the exclusion of industry repre-
sentatives with financial interests
from the peer-review process.
This peer-review process' is an
integral component of risk as-
sessment procedures, which at-
tempt to determine the relative
costs and benefits of industry
compliance with environmental
regulations. The integrity and ef-
fectiveness of-this system abso-
lutely depends on the reviewers
being objective and not associ-
ated in any financial sense with
the industry under review.
Ieiislation that allows the