4 - The Michigan Daily -- Wednesday, October 25, 1995 U (TheC ffirtfwu&zU r I JORDAN STANCIL LAST-DITCH APPEAL 420 Maynard Street Ann Arbor, MI 48109 Edited and managed by students at the )niversity of Michigan MICHAEL ROSENBERG Editor in chief JULIE BECKER JAMES M. NASH Editorial Page Editors The nht and wrong methods of writing a profound term paper Unless otherwise noted, unsigned editorials reflect the opinion of a majority of the Daily's editorial board. All other articles, letters, and cartoons do not necessarily reflect the opinion of The Michigan Daily. The begins Open meetings central to student input F ive of the seven years James J. Duder- regents need to consider the voices of stu- stadt has served as University president dents, staff, faculty and alumni for each level were shadowed by litigation over the legality of the search. They have committed them- of the process used to select him. Now, with selves in print to that. With an honest expres- Diderstadt stepping down, the University sion of public opinion, the board will not Board of Regents again faces a dilemma: have to second-guess the expectations and Should it ignore the court ruling deeming the the desires of the University community. 1988 presidential search illegal, or should it However, merely gathering opinions does adhere to the law, which some regents fear not promise an open search. The regents may undermine the search? Fortunately, early need to take a stand on opening the meetings signs in the current search are encouraging. in which finalists are interviewed. They have The court ruling on the last presidential been mum on whether they will allow the search, while reprimanding the regents for search meetings to be open to the public as conducting the search in private until Duder- dictated by the court's decision-or whether stedt was named as the sole finalist, gives no they will continue to conduct this most im- specifics on how they can ensure some con- portant business behind closed doors. fidentiality at the beginning of the search. After Duderstadt was named president Most of the regents want to hide the list of without any public acknowledgment of who original applicants from the public, concerned his rivals were, the Detroit Free Press and that potential contenders would be discour- The Ann Arbor News sued the University for aged from applying if word of their candi- violating the OMA. The University unsuc- dacy reached their current employers. There- cessfully contested the suit by arguing that fore, the board is asking for input on the the presidential search was outside the scope search for the new president from the entire of the act. If the board decides to defy the University community. This marks a posi- court's ruling and again hold secret search tive change from the 1988 search, when the meetings, it will be setting a dangerous pre- public was all but disregarded. But the re- cedent - breaking the law over a dubious gents' gesture is only symbolic at this point. "principle." Incredibly, one state senator - Regents arranged a series of open forums Republican John Schwarz of Battle Creek - to see what type of president the University suggested the regents do just that. community wants and how it thinks they The regents' intention to seek the input of should conduct the search. They released an the campus through public forums is honor- open letter seeking the public's "input and able. However, public forums will not be guidance." The regents vowed to consult enough. The board needs to seek the input of with each of the University's constituent the University community throughout the groups before and during the search. search. And it must resist the temptation to These measures are commendable. The close the doors once again. Beneath the dust Flint campus has much to offer its students There's a right way to write a paper and a wrong way. Basically, if the process doesn't involve Ashley's and cigarettes, you're doing it the wrong way. If you have a term paper due at, say, 5 p.m. on Friday, you go to Angell Hall at about 7:30 on Thursday night. First, you spend about an hour checking e-mail. While doing this, make sure to e-mail everyone you've ever met anywhere in the country, so that you can check e-mail several more times to see if they e-mailed you back. Then talk to every- one you know. Then go outside and smoke a cigarette. After these preliminaries, you're ready to begin. Begin by checking e-mail to see if any- one has e-mailed you back. Then open a file on Word. Write your name, the date and the name of your course at the top. Then check e-mail again. If anyone e-mailed you back, e-mail them back so that maybe they'll e- mail you back again. If it's someone at this school, you should always remember to mention that you're at Angell Hall # what- ever, because they're probably there too, but to find them, you need to e-mail them. Then go outside and smoke a cigarette. When you get back inside, get a drink from the drinking fountain and walk around reading the flyers on the walls. By the end of the night you should know when and where every group on this campus meets, espe- cially the Campus Crusade for Christ, be- cause you may need their prayers when asking for an extension from your professor the next day. When you finally get back to your "sta- tion," write something that sounds vaguely intelligent, realize that whatever you wrote was very vague and not very intelligent, and think about alternative career plans that do not require a term paper or a bachelor's degree. Once you conclude that you do not need to do this particular paper to lead a Rich, Fulfilling Life, you're ready to go across the street to Ashley's. Tell yourself that there's been a lot written about T.S. Eliot/the role of women in the French Revolution/cultural change in late Mayan civilization/The Emp- tiness of Emptiness and that there's no need for you to put in your two cents' worth - certainly not by 5:00 the next afternoon. At the bar, you'll think, "Whoa! I'm at the bar. I have a paper due tomorrow and I don't even care at all!" This is an extremely liberating feeling which, ironically, makes it possible for you to write your paper. Since, as everyone knows, people think more freely when they're drunk, you will by this time have come up with a Profound Idea. This Idea will get you started and probably carry you through at least 80 percent of the paper. Since you're drunk, you now believe that your paper is actually going to increase the reach of human knowledge. While stagger- ing back to Angell Hall, you realize that you want to become a professor. Back at your station, check e-mail. After responding to all your new messages, go outside and smoke a cigarette. Now you actually have to write the pa- per. The fact that it's 2 in the morning gives you a little extra incentive. The main thing is to remember the big idea you found in the bottom of your fourth pint. All you have to do is build the paper around that idea. This always works not only because you're using a Profound Idea, but also because, with only one idea to work with, you run little risk of rambling. Actually, no matter how profound your idea, you're probably going to start ram- bling at about 5 a.m., which is a sad time at Angell Hall because it's when everyone there realizes that his/her paper is due in a mere 12 hours and they still have 13 pages to go. Normally this would be fine, but your stronger-than-expected buzz and the fact that you're only writing two sentences per hour can mean only one thing: It's time for bed. Bed in this context refers to those benches outside the glass where you can use your coat as a pillow and drool receptacle while you saw logs. This sleep might be the least refreshing in the entire world, but it's over at 8 a.m. when people start coming to class. No one ever shows any consideration for those who are sleeping on the benches. Probably this is because they sign up for and attend 8 a.m. classes, which clearly means they just don't understand the right way to do papers. Since at this time you feel as though several bowling balls have been dropped on your head, you realize that there is abso- lutely no chance that you'll finish the paper. So you happily complete the last steps in the process. You go to the Jug for an omelette, coffee and cigarettes, go to your professor's office, beg for an extension and, regardless of the outcome of your entreaties, go home and sleep all day. This always works. Don't worry about the fact that you're paper still isn't done. After all, you've probably got all week- - While he procrastinates on his papers, Jordan Stancil can be reached over e-mail at rialto@umich.edu ig JIM LASSER SHARP AS TOAST To WORK .0. ALRIGHT IT'STI METO G6ET 1 4 "~ .,, Wis. .e NOTABLE QUOTABLE 'As we look ahead, do we see a radically new University emerging?' -former University President Harold: Shapiro, speaking Monday to the faculty's Senate Assembly Couched in the comfortable environment of Ann Arbor, most in the University community take little notice ofthe Flint cam- pus. UM-Flint is separated from Autoworld, tlJe industrial automotive museum, by a lazy river. The campus is quiet, even ghostly, like niost of downtown Flint. But the educational programs taking place - and the attitude of the faculty and staff- are hidden jewels of tlie University. At last Thursday's Board of Regents meet- iig, held in Flint, Chancellor Charlie Nelms enthused about "A Vision for the Future," UM-Flint's new enrollment campaign and i1iprovement initiative. The campus needs to &astically boost its first-year student popu- l4tion, which accounts for only 17 percent of this year's student body. The low number is cue to a large number of transfer students and graduate students. Nelms also feels recruit- rbent must reflect UM-Flint's unique makeup. 'omen compose 62 percent of the student body, and 40 percent of enrolled students are older than 25. In the last seven years, the number of students from outside Genessee 8 County has increased by 28 percent. A di- verse enrollment is important to UM-Flint. When the University created a Flint cam- gus, much of the intent was to revitalize the depressed city. Part of UM-Flint's mission statement reads: "Collaborating with local and regional educational institutions and other ... organizations to provide access to aca- demic programs; advance economic, cul- taral and artistic interests; enhance health and education in our region." Local well- OW TO CONTACT THEM being is vital to the function of the campus. While the city of Flint's economic out- look is darkened by declines in heavy indus- try, the University's presence brings with it prospects for scientific enterprises and light industry. An outstanding example is the Com- munity Stabilization and Revitalization project. Consisting of University profession- als and experts, CSR offers area business constructive management advice at no cost - saving money, preserving and creating jobs and interacting with the Flint commu- nity. CSR demonstrates that education is not merely a tool of the elite, but can and should be applied wherever it is useful. UM-Flint continuously gives back to the region in other ways. Out of 17,000 gradu- ates, 11,000 have remained in the area. Re- turning graduates sustain the area. Inside the school, Nelms believes that courses should reflect the specific needs of Flint students. The school forms alliances with area businesses that increase students' contacts and experience. Support for minori- ties and women helps retention, and UM- Flint keeps in-state tuition at a competitively low rate, with the understanding that educa- tion must remain affordable for everyone. Focused on grass-roots improvement and a realistic educational goal, UM-Flint does not have time to boast a winning football team or uphold the lofty pretensions of academia. But the campus should not be overlooked in the Ann Arbor hoopla - UM- Flint's commitment to education and serving Michigan is exemplary. a c "" LETTERS Student reactions to health car To the Dally: While Flint Wainess' (and Jor- dan Stancil's) desire to have health coverage for all Univer- sity students is a good one, mak- ing it mandatory is not. Here's how I think about it. One example ofgovernmental law which mandates that we take care of ourselves is the seatbelt law. It is one thing to have a mandatory seatbelt law because seatbelts come free with the car and wear- ing a seatbelt is a good idea. How- ever, ifI had to pay $2,000 every four years to wear a seatbelt I might have something to say about it. Like forget it. I don't get in an accident every day of my life. I'd rather be able to eat on a daily basis. It is a certainty of human physiology that eating every day has a much higher probability of ensuring my continued good health than wearing a seatbelt every day while starving to death. Same thing with the Wainess mandatory health-care plan. It is a good idea and may save lives, but I want to have a choice if it is going to cost me $2,000. 1 don't have $2,000 and 1, unlike the U.S. government, can't spend nonex- istent money. Please keep this in mind: Not all University students can pay for this plan and to make it mandatory will exclude some economically disadvantaged stu- dents from having the opportu- nity ofan excellent education here at the University. Shawn Severance Rackham student To the Daily: "MSA questions health care plan recommendation" (10/11/95), Stephen L. Beckley, the consult- ant hired by the University last year to draft the plan, told the assembly that 13 percent of the University's graduate students are uninsured. Not only is this per- centage relatively low, but it is also unrepresentative of facts. Some of this 13 percent might be insured under their own health care plans and not the University's. Furthermore, such students, although given the option to waive the plan, but would still be re- sponsible for an annual fee of $72. I think it's time to rethink this plan and to think about the student's right to a choice. Cheryl Shammas LSA junior To the Daily: Two weeks ago, Stephen L. Beckley addressed to MSA his proposal for a health care plan for students. Going into the meeting, I was leaning against this pro- posal. But, after hearing the facts, I agree with Flint Wainess and others who drafted the proposal. This is a very complicated proposal. No one should form a firm opinion on this plan without hearing the major parameters. Therefore, students should have an open mind. Here are the ad- vantages of this proposal: I) All students need adequate health care coverage. I disagree with my colleague on MSA, Olga portant, but inadequate by itself. For instance, what if someone gets sick from alcohol poisoning on a Saturday night? UHS is closed, so the student would have to be brought to the emergency room. Someone who is uninsured would probably be billed for sev- eral hundred dollars. 3) This is world-class health care at factory-outlet prices. For $500 ayear, this plan would cover pre-existing conditions, 10 visits to the counseling center (now it is only three) plus outside psychiat- ric care, $1 million in catastrophic care, and would provide cover- age outside of the state of Michi- gan. If one wanted a comparable plan, he or she would first have to prove that he or she would never get sick and it would cost in the $2,000 to $3,000-per-year range. 4) Opting out is OK if you have another plan. Students like myself who already have health insurance can opt out and will receive a reduction in our tuition of some $66.67 per term! Don't forget that this is just a proposal. If students have objec- tions, changes can be made. E- mail me at gekko@umich.edu or come by the MSA office and see the proposal. Finally, I think it would be a good idea for students to vote on this proposal as Probir Mehta has suggested. But, students must not vote for or against this plan with- out knowing the facts. Jonathan Winick MSA representative LSA junior 3 proposal leech-like University. Jordan, you are so, so naive. Where did you get your informa- tion? Flint? You seem to be for- getting several aspects of this (here comes my latent populism,. to which you so knowingly re- ferred) social health care plan. You claim that this would lead to "a tuition rebate for some (stu- dents)." Very interesting. Let's, do the math. We pay $96.50 per semester now for health care (UHS). We would pay $250 per term under this mandatory insul?-' ance. But wait, I have health in- surance! That means that I get $70 per term back (assuming that the University lets me due to the large number of students that are, trying to achieve this discount),, That leaves an extra $83.50 per. term. Wow! What a rebate! What' a "money-saving idea" as you so: eloquently put it. Of course, this could be cov- ered by financial aid. You made. an excellent point there. No, re,- ally, I mean that. Sure, some ofus are already going to owe the gov- ernment more than $10,000 when we graduate, but what's another $2,000. Oh, wait! What about those of us who aren't getting enough aid now. Ah heck, they'll be OK, right? They can just forgo meals on Sunday night. But, as you said, there are top. many unknowns. You haven't fig- ured out how the University plans to scam the students on this plan. A few people saw it coming with the Mcard, but we didn't listen. Now look at what's happened. The University is earning interest that should be on our accounts. University Regent Deane Baker (R-Ann Arbor) 4944 Scio Church Rd. Ann Arbor. MI 48103 University Regent Laurence Deitch (D-Bloomfield Hills) 2000 Town Center, Suite 1500 Southfield, MI 48075