6B - The Michigan Daily - Wee" ele. - Thursday, October 12, 1995

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Stallone stumbles through comedy, mumbles through action

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By Christopher Corbett
For the Daily
4Pop quiz, hot shot: You can't keep
playing a boxer with a heart of gold and
a mouth of mush forever; you want to
change your image. What do you do?
What do you do?
You ... turn your frown upside down
and star in "Stop! or My Mom Will
Shoot" and "Oscar"? Duhhhh!
Sylvester Stallone's career has had
more ups and downs than a girl in a Paul
Verhoeven film. "Rocky" vaulted him
- as a star- into the great night sky of
Tinseltown. Way back in 1976, that
film presented the story ofa hard-work-
ing, blue-collar every man. Rocky the
character -who struggled to verbalize
what he felt inside - seemed some-
what stereotyped. Rocky the fighter, as
he delivered his knuckle-sandwiches,
came across as a knuckle-head. The
film, though, struck a nerve and served
as an American fairy tale about fighting
for one's dreams - a parable Stallone
himself seems to have internalized.
Before the success of "Rocky" (it
won the Best Picture Academy Award,
among other accolades), however,
Stallone went through his struggling
actor phase -- in his case it was called
the "You like to watch, don't you?"
stage. He revealed his bologna pony in

an off-Broadway play called "Score"
(ah, yes. A title can say a thousand
words sometimes, can't it?) and that
glorious, classic porn film, "Party at
Kitty and Studs."
In all seriousness, can we take the
Italian Stallion seriously? Even today,
when hearing his slow, guttural drawl
on "The Tonight Show" and "Late
Night," who doesn't get the urge to say
the line? Come on ... You know it... Say
it! "Yo! Adrian!"
Perhaps our trouble with Stallone is
that we have had trouble letting him off
the hook for his errors. The studios, too,
have rubbed his nose in his mess from
time to time: At the height of"Rocky"'s
success, the Hollywood buck-hunters
re-released "Party" under a new title,
"The Italian Stallion."
No doubt Stallone'sjaw clenches and
his teeth grind when he thinks of"Stal-
lion" ("Whoo duhhh hhhull fouhhhnd
thhhat taaape?!"). He shouldn't live like
a human being, or trip up and land on
his knees - err, face, once in awhile. If
he has such an out-of-this-worldjob -
umm, career, then he can make some
sacrifices, or offer us the illusion of
perfection, right?
Only after one of their scathing per-
sonal orprofessional mistakes comes to
light, or more commonly, when we tire

of their presence, do stars remind us of
their humanity and come crashing to
earth - although sometimes not fast
enough (read: Tom Cruise). Maybe our
unwillingness to let Stallone alone
caused him to hurry and take a few
risks, without thinking his choices
through.
Stallone gambled on a stark, somber
and silent character with the "Rambo"
films. He may have been trying to shed
the image "Rocky" practically stamped
into his forehead. But the similar Rambo
character launched questions like: Does
Stallone have anything to offer other
than a bumbling, mumbling rumbling
"Rocky" type?
In "Rambo," as he shot arrows into
variousjeeps andpeople (Noneofwhom
were Tom Cruise, sadly), and blew up
helicopters with a preposterous, humor-
less, granite-like face, he wound up
strengthening ourpreconceived notions
about his abilities. He has enough
muscle to throw a slamming-wrecking
party and destroy your apartment. But,
then again, so does a bull. And how
often do you hear "Shall I compare thee
to a summer's day" from the lips of a
bull?
Stallone shot himself in the foot with
his efforts at comedy (more like blow-
ing his legs off). His awkwardness in

the films made a point: Stallone doesn't
want to laugh at himself. He wants
respect for his talents.
After a string of films that flopped
like rags on a clothesline, he woke up.
Older and wiser, Stallone turned back
to action films and proved as winning a
performeras a Wesley Snipes or a Bruce
Willis. "Cliffhanger" and "Demolition
Man" pleased many audiences.
The streak didn't last long, however.
Later, his pairing with Sharon Stone in
"The Specialist" sparked particular in-
terest. How much raw ego and sneers
can they really show in two hours? But
the actors didn't ignite the film - it
blew up in its own ridiculousness. "The
Specialist" portrayed Stallone as a
Unabomber for hire. The film couldn't
give him what he wanted; its perfor-
mance at the box office only rhymed
with the word "hit."
Stallone made a straight-up comic
book adventure film with last
summer's "Judge Dredd." A nice try.
But "Batman Forever" had all the
fantasy film bases covered in a way
that left "Dredd" hugging itself and
crying for its mommy. Nicole Kidman
drew in the guys, Jim Carrey the kids
(and kids-at-heart), Val Kilmer the
women and Chris O'Donnell the girls
with a sprinkle of Tommy Lee Jones

watcn out. SIy Stallone carries a letnal weapon in that cast.

on top for good measure. This left
Stallone to gawk and say "Oh, snap!"
Despite the many beatings he's
taken, Stallone has kept going, with
his chin up. When his career went
through dim periods, he didn't go
mental and change his name to 0+>,
and he didn't get arrested for molest-
ing, beheading or paying to get it on
with someone the way other stars did.
If nothing else, his roles in his latest
films convey courage, sturdiness and
the ability to survive. A coincidence?
Persevering might well pay off for
Sly. His new film, "Assassins," opened
last Friday. He is in competent hands
now, considering Richard Donner, who
brought us the "Lethal Weanon" triloav

and so many others, directed "Assas-
sins." He also has good company on the
film: The new Fabio with-an-accent,
Antonio Banderas, and the appealing
Julianne Moore ("Nine Months") star
opposite the veteran actor. The young
Banderas's popularity, indeed, is sky-
rocketing - he could end up stealing
the film from Stallone.
Then again, Stallone bares the marks
of a fighter who has met each challenge
head on. You can read as much in the
lines on his face: He has learned from
his wrong moves and gotten back on his
feet. Maybe he'll never recite
Shakespeare, but his survival in Holly-
wood after almost 20 years begs for

Letterman, Leno welcome back comedian Cotter

Get Up Close and Personal with Demi Moore
So you think that "The Scarlet Letter" Is a classic novel that you read In English
class, huh? Well, surprise! A film version of the novel, starring Demi Moore and
Gary Oldman will hit screens on Friday and Is sure to give life to an old favorite.
Would you like to win a free extra-large poster (Just like the picture above) of the
movie? All you have to do is stop by the Daily (420 Maynard Street, 2nd Floor,
Arts Room) today or tomorrow and tell us:
Which letter of the alphabet Is "scarlet?"

By Lise Harwin
Daily Arts Writer
When you think of most engineering
majors, you don't usually think offfunny
guys. Likewise, when you think of the
comedians that appear on shows like
"Late Night with David Letterman,"
you don't often think of computer tech-
nicians. But, like his comedy routines,
Wayne Cotter breaks all the rules.
Born in New York City, Wayne Cot-
ter lived in the Bronx until he was 18
and was a fan of comedy from the start.
"I listened to comedy albums when I
should have been listening to rock n'
roll," Cotter commented. "Even when I
was five or six I was memorizing
jokes...off my parents' Mel Brooks and
Carl Reiner albums."
But, Cotter admits that in his youth
he didn't understand most of the jokes.
"Even today I still don't understand a
lot of the jokes. 'That wasn't Com-
mander Robert L. Jones, that was Estelle
Winwood!' I still don't have a clue who
those people were."
Other influences were his childhood
riddle books, which he would often
quote to his family and friends. As he
confessed, "I was a weird kid."
While Wayne Cotter's main dream
was to be on the Carson Show, he still
maintained a firm hold on reality
Wayne Cotter
Where: Mainstreet Comedy Theater
When: Thursday through Saturday
Tickets: $12
Showtimes: Thurs., 8:30 p.m., Fri.
and Sat.: 8:30 and 10:30 p.m.
throughout his college years. Attend-
ing the University of Pennsylvania on
scholarship, Cotter became an electri-
cal engineer, without a doubt, "... the
next closest subject to stand-up com-
edy."
Attending classes of 300 men and no
women, Cotter could already see the
humor in the field that he had chosen as
a career. "I would have felt sorry [for
any women]. The guys were so geeky.

Comedian Wayne Cotter plays Mainstreet this weekend.

New rock & pop
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Free billiards.
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Free billiards. Retro Rock Dance
No cover. Night w/DJ Chuck.
Drink specials Drink specials all night.
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Guys with massive slide rules strapped
to their hips. The horniest, geekiest
guys on the planet. Yuck," Cotter chuck-
led.
But, despite the amount of time spent
with other engineers, Cotter never felt
that he fit into this, "Hi, what's your
cosine?" stereotype. Instead, he spent his
evenings arranging open-mike nights
within his artsy house. "To get into the
house there was the question, 'Have you
ever been treated for any type of mental
disorder?' They were afraid the program
would attract mentally deranged people,"
Cotter mentioned. "Isn't that the respon-
sibility of the Admissions Department to
make sure that schizophrenics are weeded
out from the beginning?"
After college, Cotter went on to be-
come a professional computer program-
mer for four years, following which he
had earned enough from his salary to
finance his excursion into full-time com-
edy.


TURSDA FRDAY 'STURAY

AnothermajorbreakthroughforWayne
Cotter was the formation of Comedy
Works, a comedy showcase in his new
home of Philadelphia. "In the begin-
ning there were eight or nine people in
Philly at that time who all felt the same
sort of urge ... It's almost like 'Close
Encounters.' These people who have
this strange need burning in their stom-
ach to do this weird thing and they don't
know exactly why," Cotter quipped.
"Originally, we organized a little night-
club in a sleazy dive bar next to the
Amtrak station."
After some changes, Comedy Works
became one of the first comedy clubs
outside of New York and Los Angeles,
proving that comedy was beginning to
be recognized as a form of live enter-
tainment. What brought about this
change? According to Cotter, "Humor
has always been part of human nature.
The generation of people who had seen
comedy on television ... just all reached
an age where live comedy became a
career option."~
But, like different types of jobs,
there are different types of comedy.
Wayne Cotter is a comedian who gets
most of his inspiration from ordinary,
everyday activities. For example, two
weeks ago, Cotter's dishwasher was
recalled.
"They say there's something in the
switch, that it's a fire hazard. How
much do you have to screw up to make
a machine that fills with water and then
bursts into flame?" said Cotter. "Tome,
that joke is right in front of me. You just
have to have your eyes open and have
an inquisitive nature."
And how do audiences respond to
these typical household scenarios? "I've
been talking about it on stage and the
audiences are laughing!" Cotter grinned.
Interestingly enough, Cotter still main-
tains his ties to the electrical engineer-

ing world despite his preference for
comedy. "A lot of the stuff that I latch
onto tends to be science and engineer-
ing related because I still have that part
of my brain."
As most watchers of late night comedy
know, routines often use sex jokes and
swearing to get people's attention. While
Wayne Cotter is not necessarily a
"squeaky clean" comedian, he does have
strong feelings on the subject.
"For me, at the time when I started
there wasn't even cable. So, the only way
you could get on television was to be
clean," he commented, quickly adding
that he's not THAT old. "I knew from the
start that I didn't want to be stuck in
comedy clubs forever. Some people, their
stuff just wouldn't translate onto televi-
sion. Since television was my goal, I
focused on [doing appropriate things]."
Cotter even admitted to having some-
what of a wild imagination. "From the
beginning, I used to pretend that I was
doing the Carson Show when I was on-
stage at Bob's Banana Hut Comedy House
in the back of a Greek restaurant. In my
mind, it was the Tonight Show." Cotter
also added that while it is easy to make a
show more raunchy, it is more difficult to
keep a clean show.
"There are guys that work dirty all the
time and then, all of a sudden, they're in
asituation wherethey getpaidahugesum
of money to play a church function.
They're groping around for stuff that
might be appropriate." In a sense, the fact
that most other comedians were dirty was
a blessing for Cotter.
"Being the clean guy, you'd stand out.
And that's how I got noticed," Cotter
revealed.
And what advice would a professional
comedian who has appeared on "The
Tonight Show," offer to other comedians
looking to get noticed?
"The truth? This is what I heard from
Robert Klein... 'The truth is that you
learn 99 percent of it by doing it.' The
trick is to find a place to get up in front of
people and do it. Try to make them laugh
and try and find your own way to do it,"
says thehostofComic Strip Live. "One of
the great things about this field is that
there aren't 80 million people who are
just unbelievably great... I didn't start out
with friends at Letterman, they just saw a
tape of what I had been doing in a club."
With Cotter's past successes in both
television and on stage, it is clear that
whatever his method is, it works and
keepshimbusy. Headliningshows across
the country, Cotter has made a spot for.
himself on comedy's fast track and isn't
ready to get off. With this in mind, it is
remarkable that Wayne Cotter even found
time to share one of his favorite jokes.
"The police in New York announced
that the weapon of choice among school-
children is the nine millimeter handgun.
Well, I'm just so glad kids-are finally
using the metric system!" Whatever the
joke, any guy who can list being the host
of "Studs" on his resume has got to have
a good sense of humor.

ATTENTION
FACULTY AND Ph.D CANDI'DATES
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