The Michigan Daily - W e 4t . - Thursday, September 21, 1995 - 38

Jefferson in Paris' bombs for Merchant, Ivory

Alexandra Twin
Public Access
Upon returning to good ol' square(d)
A after a typical, blissful summer -
moonlit gatherings at exotic Coney
Island Beach, sifting the ancient sands
for seashells and hypodermic needles,
barbecuing furry, inanimate objects by
the light of the crackheads' pipes -
there was only one thing on my mind.
The memories it conjured up -
bnittersweet yet cogent - drove me
fnrth those last weary miles. I thought
about that place that we've all spent
hours daydreaming about, murmuring
its name like an aphrodisiac from
Heaven. We earthlings call it Meijer's.
Last night, I made my pilgrimage.
For those indentured servants who
are fortunate enough to reside in the
festive northern (dead) end of our
Campus, Couzens Morgue, or any other
suburb of Siberia (and are therefore not
often watered or exposed to sunlight),
Meijer's can be the thinking person's
K-mart or the hick's Disneyland,
depending upon how much you value
bulk rice-a-roni. If you're a former or
future "Wheel of Fortune" contestant,
this delicacy may be old hat. But if
you're a broke college student, it don't
get any closer to Valhalla 'til death.
With it's art-deco look, it's
inconclusion of everything from
hamburger helper to polyester pants
suits to muzac, there's nothing like a
trip to Meijer's to bring out that warm,
fuzzy, good-all-over feeling that says:
"Yes. I am still in the 80s."
;;Call me chemically unbalanced, but
eery time I walk into a club, an old
cardboard box - really any small,
enclosed place filled with lots of people
from New Jersey- I begin to suspect
that I am trapped in the '80s in a surreal
John Hughes movie from Hell.
However, in this version, nothing
ends like it shouldnamely with poodle-
pemed teen queens in acid-washed
culatts break dancin' to the latest Bryan
Adams tune as a Politically Correct
sampling of multi-cultural cool kids
and geeks reconcile the irreconciliable
and everyone, even the teachers, are
named Scooter or "The Fuzz."
Here, no one wears cullatts unless
they really want to, and those that do
are flogged. It's OK to just say no to
Devo, but you must join one of two
political parties, known as "Charlie"
and "Emilio." The former are com-
prised of chubby, sharky people who
ride on their families' coattails, the
latter consist of less chubby, but still
sharky people who try to ride on their
families' coattails but fail miserably
and must hang out with Paula Abdul for
25 years as punishment. These two
groups dominate society. To deviate is
to become one with Screech.
Naturally, it is this fear/fascination
that draws me to '80s teen movies and
the Coreys - Haim and Feldman, that
is. The Coreys were once all that and a
bag of chips. (You may recall "Dream a
Little Dream." Or you may not.) Yet,
with the onslaught of their own
impending puberty and the death of the
' 0s teen film genre, came the disap-
pearance of the dynamic duo. With it
cme the loss of America's innocence.
For those of us of still illegal, the
'80s and the Coreys symbolize our lost
childhood. One might say that to deny
the Coreys is to deny the inner,
wounded, acid-washed child in all of

us. Denying the inner child is wrong.
Just look at what happened to Telly
"Who Loves ya, Baby?" Savalas.
The facts are these: No one wants to
be bald and no one, not even Angela
Lansbury, wants to do ads for the
"Players' Club."
At any rate, the momentous news of
Corey Feldman's second-coming marks
a time of unbridled joy. While awaiting
His arrival, you can gorge on the '80s-
nostalgia trip, "Angus." Exhuming the
spirit of'83, this is a tale of a large guy
who soul-searches, finds inner peace
and is then able to correctly perform the
electric boogaloo at the prom and win
the heart of the school tart.
In embracing the '80s, we are not
losing touch with reality, nor getting
stuck in the past (ATTN. PATRICK

By Joshua Rich
Daily Film Editor
This week sees the coinciding re-
lease of two low-budget, independent,
artistically enriched films that have re-
cently graced movie screens and come
away with drastically different results.
While "The Madness of King George"
became a minor art house phenomenon
late last year, "Jefferson in Paris," the
latest in a long string of Ismail Mer-
chant/James Ivory productions was a
relative failure.
It is a bit of a surprise, actually, that
this movie didn't succeed in the same
way that many of its predecessors had.
With generic non-actor Nick Nolte
strangely cast in the title role, "Jefferson
in Paris" now lives with the infamous
distinction of being the biggest Mer-
chant/Ivory bomb since their 1987 Hugh
Grant flick "Maurice."
And yet through the years, the team
of Merchant and Ivory - the former
produces and the latter directs - has
become the figurative buttress of the
growing art movie fortress. The pair
took over this distinction from other
British legends as David Lean and Ri-
chard Attenborough.
Hits like "A Room with a View"
(1985), "Howard's End" (1992) and
"The Remains of the Day" (1993) were
gems in the large crop of films pro-
duced in their respective years. To this
day, they remain tasteful, intelligent,
exciting and above all entertaining
movies, unlike the usual mindless ac-
tion flicks or silly comedies that we are
so accustomed to.
The Merchant/Ivory corps has also
brought names like Daniel Day-Lewis,
Helena Bonham-Carter and Emma Th-
ompson to the forefront of the realm of

high-quality motion pictures. It is to
these actors and to Merchant and Ivory
themselves that we look when we de-
sire a fine movie; these are the film-
makers who continually receive the
praise of critics and peers alike.
But the balance of power among the
artsy, independent pictures outside of
Hollywood - all of the above are Brit-
ish imports - seems to have shifted
with the relative success of "King
George." Perhaps this signals a turning
point in the rich film tradition that may
have ended with "Jefferson in Paris."
After blazing a trail for other art house
flicks to arrive successfully on the big
screen, Merchant and Ivory may now
take a step back as offspring like "King
George" pick up the slack.
"King George," as it turns out, stole
the spotlight usually reserved for Mer-
chant/Ivory movies by garnering some
five Academy Award nominations in-
cluding a Best Actor nod for leading
man Nigel Hawthorne. Then, to cap off
its run as the top British import of its
kind this year, actress Helen Mirren
won the Best Actress award at the
Cannes Film Festival in May.
Now that these films have been re-
leased on home video, we are able to
judge both pictures independently; we
may finally evaluate their respective
merits and flaws on our own.
Other Recent Releases Include:
"Before the Rain" - A bittersweet
drama about life in the former Yugosla-
via. Not for the weak at heart.
"Buffalo Girls" - Anjelica Huston
and some other dirty dames gallop all
over the wild west, angry that, until

now, only "soldiers" have gotten the
privilege of being deemed "buffalo-
something." Besides, that Barrymore
chick and her friends were already bad
bad bad girls on the big screen, so
Angie has to settle for starring in a
made-for-TV movie. No wonder she's
pissed!
"A Goofy Movie" - The Jake
Baker story on the big screen as ani-
mated by R. Crumb, and with a shi-
cidal soundtrack made specially for
this flick by the late Kurt Cobain. The
first anti-social anarchy-festival
movie of its kind to be released with a
"G" rating. It stars all of our favorite
Disney characters doing some terri-
bly ghastly things.
"Little Odessa"- Disguised behind
a sickening, diminutive title that leads
us to believe that this film is some sort
of "A Little Princess" rip-off (how
DARE they!), this movie is actually a
dark gangster drama that takes place in
a small corner of New York City. Tim
"Mr. Orange/Pumpkin" Roth proves
that he may be completely lost without
the hand of Tarantino guiding his every
move. Exciting things he does in this
banal film include bedding Moira Kelley
and eating a hot dog with Eddie Fur-
long.
"A Little Princess" - Some cute
little girl lives in some cute little house
in some cute little. village and has
some cute little daydreams. Suppos-
edly one of the best films of last sum-
mer, this movie was so good that no
one went to see it the first time it
played, and its second run lasted about
a week. Go figure.

"How did we end up in this awful film? I thought we tried out for 'The Pianos'"

"Losing Isaiah"-Jessica Lange and
Halle Berry have one huge cat fight
about who looks better naked on the
cover of "Rolling Stone." After poor
old Jessie loses big time, she steals
Halle's baby, accuses the beautiful Mrs.
Dave Justice of being a dope fiend,
fights in court with that F. Lee guy and
makes it into this big racial thing. One
ofJohnnie "I'm THE MAN!" Cochran's
personal faves.
"A Man ofNo Importance"-Albert
"Crotchety" Finney stars in this appro-
priately-titled about some Irish bus
driver with no direction in life. In this
case, however, the film has hit too close
to home; at one point Finney just goes

off, barking something about "The'
Dresser" and "Under the Volcano" and
damn us all. We'd get it if only we had
actually seen any movie this man ap-
peared in.
"Roommates" - A wickedly wild
mishmash of comedy and slapstick an-
ecdotes stealing from such classical
sources as "Houseguest," "House
Party," and "PCU." Starring some Johq
Ritter and Anthony Michael Hall
wannabes, this film hearkens back to
the carefree times of "Three's Com-
pany" (before Suzanne Somers started
doing that thigh thing) and "The Break-
fast Club" (before Emilio started doing
that Paula Abdul thing).


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Jessica Lange and Halle Berry lose Isaiah in the ladies room.
I. __________________________________


fLLY

CATHERINE
WHEEL_

and INNOCENCE
MISSION
OCT. 17 MICHIGAN THEATER
Tickets at all TicketMaster locations &
Schoolkids Records. Charge @ 810-645-6666
MIChiqAN .EAqUE STUdENT P'RORAMMiNq
PRESENTS
DAVID
WILCOX
WITk SpECIA UEST MIChAEl Hsu
FRidAy, SEpT. 22
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;; >:
z?

W inter Comeceet Suent
Speaker Call For Kntries

The Office of University Relations is making a Call for
Entries for a Student Speaker for Winter Commencement
'Sunday, December 17, 1995
2:00 p-m.
Crisler Arena

CRITERIA
" Must be receiving a degree during Summer Tern
Fall Term 1995
SuBMIT
- Cover sheet with name, local address, anctphon

m

5 or

ne number


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