Moss and trees share common ground Thyllas Moss, a local poet and a professor in the creative writing department will be reading some of her poetry at Rackham in the amphitheatre at 4p.m. The reading is free. In addition, the Mask Puppet Theatre will perform their show, "The Tree that cried," the tale of of Ollie Oak tree and his friend Wally the Weasel. At Barnes and Noble Bookstore, 7p.m. The performance isfree. Page 5 Wednesday, - - ---Apnc~mhaF 2.v .wvvQ F The Tie' that rocks the cradle By Ted Watts Daily Arts Writer "The Tie That Binds" begins in the place where "Natural Born Killers" left off. "Killers" ended with serial murderers Woody Harrelson and Juliette Lewis raising kids from a Winnebago while on the run. "The Tie That Binds" is based on the premise that two serial killers also live on the road while separated from The Tie That Binds Directed by Wesley Strick with Daryl Hannah and Keith Carradne At Showcase their only daughter. Leann and John Netherwood (Daryl Hannah and Keith Carradine) .take pictures of people and then kill them while their little girl Janie (Julia Devin) waits in the car. The police eventually capture Janie and she's put in foster care with Dana and Russell Clifton (Moira Kelley and Vincent Spano). Can you possibly guess what will happen, keeping in mind that this movie is prominently billed as being from the producers of"The Hand That Rocks the Cradle?" Well, it turns out that little Janie is troubled. She is afraid of the Tooth Fairy and takes knives to bed with her. The director seems troubled throughout the whole movie, though, filling it with oblique camera angles and Janie-level shots. However, they're completely ineffective. They're so frequent that the impres- sion is more that the camera guy was drunk throughout the filming. The other characters all have prob- lems, too. Leann has a fixation with a Madonna/Baby Jesus picture. Dana is barren, Russell is having financial problems and they're both annoy- ing. And John, well actually John's just fine. Sure, he takes pictures of people and then slits their throats, but he's full of happy, colloquial wisdom. Like when Leann won't smile and he says "One little smile, what does it cost?" to coax a half- hearted grin out of her. He's pretty much the most well adjusted person in the film. But while John's centeredness could have been played up for its irony, ala "NBK," the character is instead simply trite. All the charac- ters are bland, although some have interesting moments. Janie keeps least doesn't indulge in too many zippy one-liners. Of course, the movie has so very little going for it that an occa- sional "Father knows best" or the like couldn't really have hurt. I guess you need some sort of character for it to think of witticisms. Still, the movie goes fairly quickly. It's empty and worthless, but it isn't boring. The viewer more or less knows what's going to hap pen, and can keep entertained an ticipating the next scene. That's usually used to build tension in hor. ror flicks, but the tension is con- spicuously absent here. Instead, it helps to while away the time until you can leave the theater and sneak into something better. Maybe a movie that has content that holds attention instead of such a high level of predictability that it can be fun to test your Hollywood savvy. And you just can't ignore that it's an issue film, as well. It's a crappy parental rights movie. Like if the birth parents in the Baby Jessica case were Charles Manson and Squeaky Fromme and the adoptive parents were Mike and Carol Brady as yuppies. And while the movie comes out rooting for the adoptive parents in this case, it leaves the impression that the world might be a better place if both sets of parents lost. As it stands, it's mostly the viewer who loses. "Hey. You took my wallet-sized photo of John Ritter, didn't you? Give it back. Give It back or I'll sick Angus on you." taking down multiple adults in her six year old temper tantrums and Russell does make some surprisingly funny architecture/decorating jokes. But in a world with such excesses, no one is really all that surnrising or entertain- ing. On the other side, the movie isn't particularly dramatic, either. The Netherwoods (oooh, what a spooky last name) make all the obvious moves, which isn't really good for a thriller. Virtually nothing comes as a surprise. Almost every last formula is carried out, down to their ultimate downfall. And that's not really all that gory itself. "The Tie That Binds" at the very Paula Abdul Head Over Heels Virgin Records Little or nothing about Paula Abdul has changed since the 1988 release ofherdebut album "Forever Your Girl." She is still strikingly beautiful (spelled f-o-i-n-e), she remains a fantastic dancer and she still has that nauseatingly whiny voice that should be shot from a cannon into a lagoon never to resurface. While she's at it, Mr. Cannon can blow away "Head Over Heels," too. This CD isn't the beginning of the end for Ms. Abdul; it'sthefinal confirmationofthe continuing degenerativeness of her musi- cal abilities, whatever they may have been to begin with. Let's not pretend shock. We all know that the.only good things about Abdul's voice are the Sony and Panasonic syn- thesizers which try their damnedest to give it a Milli Vanilli-style makeover. To her credit however, Abdul's onstage acts and demeanor- strong and power- ful yet sultry and sexy-appeal to many and then some. This is why she has garnered a cache of Grammy, MTV and Emmy Awards and a whopping sale of 17 million of her previous two albums. Further, in both of these LP's, a few musical gems could be found, like "For- ever Your Girl," "Promise of a New Day" and "Rush Rush" (even though a lot of Black folks were pissed that her hero in the video was Italian). Such amazingly decent-sounding singles are absent from "Head Over Heels." Instead, you have Paula singing "If I Were Your Girl" and "Cry for Me," making you wish that Mariah Carey sang them instead. And, she has probably earned the wrath of Hindus worldwide with her video for "My Love Is for Real" which basically makes Indians look like homy, costume party-goers. "Head Over Heels" is broken beyond repair mainly because of Abdul's irrepa- rable voice and some of the most caustic background music I've ever heard come from a pop album. Paula should do like Michael; retire while she still has some respectability in the music world. But, un- like Michael, please don't return. Please. - Eugene Bowen Sixteen Deluxe Backfeed Magnetic Babe Trancesyndicate Music critics, or music listeners in gen- eral, usually like to describe a new group by comparingtheirstyletothatofapre-existing group. It often seems like nothing new is going to come out again, just different ver- sions (or complete rip-offs) of everything that we're already listening to. This mindset isn't always fair to those trying to carve out a new niche for themselves. On the other hand, when bands try to sound like everything that we're already listening to, it is absolutely appropriate to make comparisons. Sixteen Deluxe is exactly this band. They aren't even a band, actually, just an incredibly dull combination of Smashing Pumpkins, Beastie Boys, Live, the Breeders, Mazzy Star, DinosaurJr. andwhoeverelse might have a current following. You name 'em, they try to sound like 'em. Sixteen Deluxe might even have a good song or two on "Backfeed Magnetic Babe," but it's lost in a haze of boring guitars, lame vocals, uninspiredbeats and cookie-cut- ter production. In fact, about the only innovative idea for their whole release was putting the song titles on the front of the disc instead of the back. This isn't to say that bands have to be onginalto be worth listenmgto; orginality canbeoverratedjustlikeanythingelse. But why buy an altema-pop-punk-rock-funk coverband's cdwhenwecouldjustgoand listen to the real thing, which we probably own anyways? Maybe by the time Sixteen Deluxe comes out with their next release, they'll have gotten it. Ormaybe they'll just have perfected their sound by listening to all of the new songs that come out between now and then. Either way, don't bother with them yet. - David Cook See RECORDS, page 8- Sixteen Deluxe may someday expand your horizons, baby. It Comes Down To Soul Coughing if you're having trouble getting the scum out of your soul, you might want to try a little Soul Coughing tonight at the Blind Pig. Imbued with a touch of evil in their jazz and a vocalist who is more of a spoken word type than a rock or rap singer, they plug away with some high level of effectiveness. You might recall their song "Down To This," which features samples of the Andrew's Sisters and Howlin' Wolf and had a video where people keep getting out of the image frame. Anyway, their stage show features a wicked stand up bass and they constitute a pleasant mid- week experience. Call 996-8555 for more details. ,* Registration for College Bowl ends today. Questions? Call 763-1107. Get your registration form, plus fees, to the U AC Office, 2105 Michigan Union, by 5pm. $24/team, $7/individual. College Bowl THE VARSITY SPORT OF THE MIND } ____.I I