strategies to date," she says. Hence the entire surro-
gate courtship industry of personal ads, dating ser-
vices and cyberdating.
This is part of the future of dating, say Rodney
M. Cate and Sally A. Lloyd, authors of the book
"The initial events of courtship may be changing
from informal introductions by one's friends to for-
mal services that may maximize the chances of com-
patibility," they say.
Cate and Lloyd make several other predictions,
among them a rise in the age at first marriage,
another wave of sexual liberalism (once AIDS is
cured or more reliably prevented) and still more
equality between the sexes.
we're on track. And, it seems, shallow waters run
deep. Or something like that. Casual dating now is
paving the way for more solid and equitable rela-
tionships later, says Ball State's Adams.
"People want more emotional relationships," she
says. "They want more caring on both parts but
haven't been conditioned for it." Again, Adams sees
prescribed gender roles as a barrier.
But we're the ones crumbling those barriers and
coming at relationships on more equal terms.
"That makes for a deeper, more in-depth, more
interesting relationship," Adams says.
And that, conveniently, concurs with Cate and
Lloyd's ultimate conclusion:
"We believe that 'the couple' will remain a pri-
mary unit, and that love, togetherness, quality time,
good communication and mutually satisfying sexu-
ality will remain important themes in our culture
through the next century."
Who cares if flannel and Chucks have replaced
Chanel and tuxes? College is like an all-you-can-eat
cafeteria. Sure you could go to a fancy restaurant
and order the specialty. But at the cafeteria, you can
wear your boxers and a ripped T-shirt, and the
choices are endless. You can mix and experiment -
philosophizing and philandering one semester;
studying and buddying the next; a term of learning
and loving, and so on. You might decide to move
on to the filet mignon. But hey, there's nothing
wrong with shepherd's pie, either.
Bonnie Datt, associate editor
ofU. Magazine admits that the
onlyflowersshe evergets are
from her dad.
one goes on
date, it is a
WASHINGTON STATE U.
August/September 1995 - U. Magazine 27