The Michigan Daily - W/ee-4 e4. -- Thursday, December 7, 1995 - 5B
Olsen twins move from a 'Full
House'to the silver screen
ByJnWfr PlnsId
Daly Arts Writer
We thought that "Full House" would
slowly but surely fade into the back-
ground, starting from the time when
we mentally added it to the top 10 list
of the most unnecessary re-runs on
jtelevision.
We just knew that the moment had
".ome to say our farewells.;
°.Goodbye to Danny Tanner and his
same jokes - too bad we still have to
'V ear them on "America's Funniest
home Videos."
Goodbye to Uncles Jesse and Joey,
we will certainly always remem-
ber and miss their Elvis and
Bullwinkle impersonations. Or what-
,fver that was supposed to be.
Goodbye to D.J. (affectionately pro-
ounced "Deedge"), Steph and all of
thejealousy and competition between
them.
e And finally, goodbye to that little,
, Yunt Michelle, whom everyone
thought was so damn cute. We're just
sick of trying to figure out which twin
is playing baby Michelle when. We
give up. So goodbye.
Or maybe not.
Fraternal twins Mary-Kate and
Ashley Olsen are back. That's right
... fraternal. (Side note: We can tell
them apart by the two-inch height
difference and the freckle above
Ashley's lip. It is also interesting to
note the difference between their fa-
vorite songs - Ace of Base's "The
Sign" and Janet Jackson's "Again.")
This time, the nine-year-olds take their
annoying, cutesy scheming to the big
screen with director Andy Tennant's
"It Takes Two."
Lucky for us (yeah right). We were
just starting to forget about them.
The question is, though, what first
made us want to forget about the
"adorable" Olsen twins, causing us to
ignore the possibilities of their blos-
soming careers in showbiz?
Obviously, in looking back, we can
blame it all on their character,
Michelle Tanner. Maybe it was the
annoying way she gave the response
"Dude" to the rest of the family when-
ever they addressed her. Maybe it was
the fact that the Tanner family ad-
dressed her about 50 million times
each episode. Maybe it was a combi-
nation of these two factors.
Ultimately, however, "Full House"
was the wrong place for this duo to
start their careers. Sure, at the begin-
ning they were cute. Unfortunately,
everything went downhill from there.
It didn't take long for every episode
to become the same story, including
at least one of its two notorious ver-
sions - the "Michelle-does-some-
thing-really-cute-and-everybody-
kisses-her-butt-for-the-rest-of-the-
episode" version or the "Michelle-
tries-to-be-really-cute-nobody-no-
ti ces-and-she-ends-up-crying-
'Uncle-Jesse-doesn't-love-me-any-
more"' version.
Both versions revolved around the
cute actions of Michelle Tanner. The
family couldn't get enough of her.
She couldn't get enough of herself.
We, however, sat there with the re-
mote control, thinking: Enough al-
ready.
To an audience, there is nothing
worse than kids who think they are
the cutest things to hit the face of the
earth. The audience of "Full House"
has associated the "I-think-I'm-great-
and-everybody-loves-me" attitude of
Michelle Tanner with the real-life at-
titudes of the twins who portray her.
This is the primary reason that we are
trying to forget about them. Keep in
mind, though, that TRYING is the
key word here.
They just won't seem to let us.
"Well, phooey on you, James Bond. You can't shoot us from page 4."
It's far worse than we ever imagined.
Along with starring in some mov-
ies, other than their latest "Parent
Trap" wanna-be, Mary-Kate and
Ashley have recorded CDs, videos
and a read-a-long book series. In 1993,
they recorded a song called "I Am the
Cute One" with some profound and
modest lyrics: "I am sorry. I am the
cute one. She's just my sister."
Devoted fans might also take an
interest in some of their videos, such
as "You're Invited to Mary-Kate and
Ashley's Sleepover Party" and "The
Adventures of Mary-Kate and Ashley"
series. Enough said.
But wait ... there's more.
This winter, throughout the week
of December 16, Carnival Cruise
Lines is advertising a special seven-
day Caribbean cruise with - guess
who? Our favorite twins! According
to Carnival, "It's a dream come true!
Imagine spending seven days and
nights with Mary-Kate and Ashley
Olsen. It's the ultimate holiday gift."
Couldn't they at least have gotten
Kathie Lee?
The moral: Kids can be cute, as
long as they don't know it. That is
where Mary-Kate and Ashley went
wrong. Unfortunately, their Michelle
Tanner days will forever follow them
down a career path, filled with the
same "cute," meaningless book, CD
or movie over and over again.
Is Carrey worth $20 million per film?
n' "Dy Kelly Xutads
SDaily Arts Writer
Whether you love him or you hate
him, Jim Carrey is laughing all the
'way to the bank.
After propelling himself to stardom
with his unique combination of sopho-
±%tloric humor and impossible facial ex-
pressions, Carrey is the man of the
moment. With the recent release of an
"Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls" and
r;asequel to "The Mask" currently in the
"works, the former stand-up comedian
t has come a long way since his three-
.year stint on the FOX television show,
qn Living Color.'
Appearing alongside the likes of
Damon Wayans' Homey the Clown,
Carrey stole much of the spotlight
with characters like Fire Marshall Bill
("Lemme tell ya something!") and
Vera de Milo, the pig-tailed androgy-
nous aerobics instructor. At times re-
sembling ailiinian P1lasticman, capable
of countless bodily contortions,
Carrey was definitely a stand-out.
Carrey's foray into the cinematic
realm actually began before his cast-
ing on "In Living Color," when he
took on marginal roles in "Peggy Sue
Got Married" (1986), "The Dead
Pool" (1988), and "Earth Girls Are
Easy" (1989). Projects he would prob-
ably like to forget include his first
television show, the 1981 bomb "The
Duck Factory."
In his first film, "Rubberface," a
surprisingly young Carrey played an
aspiring stand-up comedian who tries
to help a high-school student write a
paper on what causes laughter. At one
point, Carrey explains,"What's funny
is what makes people laugh." For all
their seriousness, such lines are merely
laughable, and "Rubberface" seems
like it was shaped in the mold of
"Degrassi High."
Since his role as Tony Moroni in
the moronic"Rubberface," Carrey has
clearly achieved an acute awareness
of what makes audiences laugh. As
the relentlessly obnoxious pet-detec-
tive Ace Ventura, Carrey's appeal
spans across generations of viewers,
as exemplified by the $72 million
success of his first "Ace" film. Only
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Carrey could make us retort:
"Allllrighty then!" - if only for a
short while.
As an appallingly stupid nerd in
"Dumb and Dumber" (Who can for-
get the infamous snowball fight
scene?) and the diabolical Riddler in
"Batman Forever," Carrey has found
his niche in the pantheon of stars who
will do practically anything for a
laugh. Several articles have drawn
comparisons between him and that
"nutty professor," Jerry Lewis.
Having graced the pages of recent
issues of Esquire, Rolling Stone and
other widely-read magazines, Carrey
has had to pay the price for fame. He
has faced repeated questions regard-
ing a bitter divorce from his former
wife and his current relationship with
his "Dumb and Dumber" co-star
Lauren Holly. At the MTV Awards
this year, Carrey practically oozed
with worship for Holly. At this point
in his career, everything appears posi-
tively "super," as Ace would say.
Any attempts to widen his range of
roles would force )'arrey to demon-
strate the kind of acting flexibility he
has already shown with his face. For
now, though, the funny mask appar-
ently suits him just fine.
Agents 006 and 007 wouldn't want to shoot Jim Carrey and Jeff Daniels, shown
here in "Dumb and Dumber." Bond never wastes bullets.
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