4 - The Michigan Daily - Tuesday, November 28, 1995 lbe Arbig~un ?tailg JEAN TWENGE Tim ERASABLE PEN 420 Maynard Street Ann Arbor, MI 48109 Edited and managed by students at the University of Michigan MICHAEL ROSENBERG Editor in Chief JULIE BECKER JAMES M. NASH Editorial Page Editors Iy ou ever buy a Cbivtmas car, make sure it's hunter green mUnless otherwise noted, unsigned editorials reflect the opinion of a majority of the Daily 's editorial board All other articles, letters, and cartoons do not necessarily reflect the opinion of The Michigan Daily. Still chasing Jake Rt enewing Baker case threatens Net speech Take Baker is a wanted man once again. Five months after a judge cleared him of 'federal charges stemming from an explicit rape-torture fantasy he posted on the Internet, the government is attempting to resuscitate :its case against Baker. This appeal is bound :to fail-- for the same compelling reasons the -government's case was thrown out in the first place. The government's appeal, filed last week, .seeks to overturn a June 21 ruling by District -Court Judge Avern Cohn that dismissed charges against Baker. The government had brought five counts of transmitting threats in interstate or foreign commerce for e-mail communications between Baker and an uni- dentified man in Canada known as Arthur Gonda. Federal agents first arrested Baker after learning of a sex fantasy he had posted on the Internet newsgroup alt.sex.stories. Baker's story was lurid and patently disgust- ing, but the government failed to prove that it represented a direct threat to the woman named as the target of Baker's sick fiction. Significantly, the gove'rnment's case rested only on Baker's subsequent e-mail commu- nications, which did not name any specific targets. The government was hard-pressed to Prove those messages were a threat to any- thing but common decency. Baker was suspended from the University :last February and later jailed 29 days while awaiting trial. That trial never happened. ,Cohn, in an unambiguous opinion, scrapped :the government's case during pre-trial delib- erations. The judge's decision was born of respect for Baker's First Amendment right to distribute even material that violated stan- dards of good taste. Baker is now attending another university - and by all accounts, has maintained a low profile there. The government's dogged pursuit of its case comes less from a concern for the safety of the woman named in Baker's fantasy than a desire to regulate free speech on the Internet. As such, the appeal is especially dangerous. "While new technology such as the Internet may complicate analysis and may sometimes require new or modified laws, it does not in this instance qualitatively change the analysis under the statute or under the First Amendment," Cohn wrote in June. Cohn's ruling is potentially precedent-set- ting. By affirming First Amendment protec- tions for Baker's communications, Cohn was affording the Internet the same free-speech guarantees as other media. Reversing that blanket protection now would open the door to further legislative meddling in the Internet, which was foreshadowed last summer with a congressional bill to impose "decency" on the Internet. Lawyers for the government and Baker are scheduled to deliver oral arguments to the Sixth Circuit Court of Appeals in Cincinnati, possibly by the end of the year. If the three appeals judges decide a trial is warranted, the case will return to the U.S. District Court in Detroit. For the sake of free speech in all arenas - even distasteful speech in a devel- oping arena - the appeals judges should follow Cohn's lead and dismiss the case. (6 etthe season begin!"cried one ofthe many Christmas circulars stuffed inside my newspaper. Unfortunately, that was at the beginning of November. The Friday after Thanksgiving was once considered the official beginning of the Christmas season - about four weeks, a reasonable length of time for all ofus to shop for presents, get into the holiday spirit, drink eggnog and eat fruitcakes until we bloat, wait in airports for canceled flights and take final exams. But like presidential campaigns, the arrival of winter and the renting season in Ann Arbor, the Christmas season seems to begin earlier and earlier every year, and with less and less purpose. Two days after Halloween I had the bright idea of going to the mall to buy sheets for my bed - a one-stop, practical trip, or so I thought. I ended up in Sears attempting to tune out piped-in Christmas music and resist the urge to buy a dust ruffle. I don't know how it happens, but some- where in our development women become imbued with a nesting instinct. Years of department store ads and beautiful displays have taken their toll, and we all end up in the housewares section buying color-coordi- nated placemats, towels, seat covers, potato- peelers and Salad Shooters. ("I like this, but does it come in hunter green?") Symptoms are especially acute during the Christmas season. Signs you may be suffering include: Bedding compulsions. If you have ever had the urge to buy pillow shams, seek treatment immediately. Mall store bedding departments are incredible money sinks. If you're going to do it right, you learn, your bed must have matching sheets and a com- forter, at least four full-size pillows, a dust ruffle and numerous matching throw pil- lows, preferably including a few of those cylindrical-shaped ones that look like Tootsie Rolls with glandular problems. (As far as I know, the facade bedroom window from the displays is optional.) As pretty as it may look, it's completely impractical - unless you're sleeping alone in a king-size bed, there's not enough room for both you and the pillows. Advanced compulsions include buying window coverings in the same pattern as your sheets and knowing the difference be- tween 180, 200 and 250 thread count in sheets. If you can tell the difference just by feeling the fabric, cut up your credit cards immediately. And thank goodness for those charge cards, because all of these accessories must be bought at once. Otherwise, you'll end up behind the times with the wrong colors for next year. Right now, unless you have ma- roon and hunter green in your bedroom, you're hopelessly out of style. U Bathroom obsessions. If you believe our capitalist giants, the U.S. economy would completely collapse without the sale of fuzzy bathroom rugs. Also essential are color- coordinated toothbrush holders, soap dishes and wastebaskets. Advanced compulsions: framed photographs and an expensive wicker' magazine basket filled with every edition of "Uncle John's Bathroom Reader." Christmas crap. Christmas is a great holiday for seeing friends and family, but I really don't think it's necessary to com pletely redecorate a house in red and green. You can buy Christmas clothes, Christmas rugs, Christmas candle holders, Christmas underwear and Christmas dolls, all of which are useless I I months out of the year (or maybe, with the recent lengthening of the season, for 10 months). One of these days they're going to come up with Christmas furniture and Christmas cars, all of which have to be packed away on Jan. 1. I'm not even going to talk about shoes. After my stint at Sears, I managed to make it out the door with sheets and two pillowcases - an amazing balance which will allow me to actually sleep in my bed without throwing 10 pillows on the floor. By the end of it, though, all I wanted to do was put on my four-year-old coat, slide my mother's old hat on my head, climb into my 1988 sedan with no hubcaps and think. I headed back to campus, where I would be tempted to buy nothing but textbooks, report covers and incense. -.Jean Twenge can be reached over e-mail at jeant@umich. edu, MArr WIMSATT Mooi's DuiEmt4 -~I ) OLD WoMAd IWANTS US fO (Ge1'LoNCQ) NOTABLE QUOTABi* 'What's a province?' - Toronto Raptors forward Tony Massenburg, when asked how many provinces there are in Canada The parent trap unlocks Court decision marks progress in adoption Last month in New York, children's and human rights moved to the forefront when the state's highest court ruled that a couple, homosexual or heterosexual, does not have to be married to adopt a child to- gether. This decision makes New York only the third state, after Vermont and Massachu- setts, whose highest courts have recognized the right of unmarried couples to adopt chil- dren. The ruling is a long-overdue recogni- tion of the rights of both children and adop- tive parents. Writing for the majority, Chief Justice Judith S. Kaye wrote that the decision was consistent with recent changes in state law that encourage "the adoption of as many children as possible, regardless of the sexual orientation or marital status of the individu- als seeking to adopt them." At long last, the courts have disregarded their misplaced con- cern about sexual orientation and remem- bered the countless unadopted children who hang in the balance of their decisions. Prima- rily, the latest ruling will allow children to receive privileges from both parents, includ- ing health insurance benefits, Social Security payments and inheritances. Moreover, per- mitting these adoptions, in Kaye's words, "allows the children to achieve a measure of permanency with both parent figures" - a worthwhile goal. Because the state does not recognize same- -sex marriages, this ruling is particularly im- portant to gay and lesbian couples trying to -raise children. Previous law allowed one partner in a homosexual relationship to adopt a child, but would not legally recognize the mate as the child's second parent. With this decision, the court has finally recognized changes in the American family, such as the sixfold increase since 1970 in the number of unmarried couples with young children. Without legal recognition of both parents, one parent could lose custody of a child if the other died, or could be denied visitation rights if the couple broke up. This adoption ruling finally allows the law to reflect reality, according long-overdue legitimacy to same- sex parents. Although the court decision applies equally to heterosexual couples, because same-sex marriages are not recognized by state law it is specifically a huge step toward the legal acceptance of homosexual parents. With children who need parents and adults who want to parent them, obstacles based on sexual orientation are counterproductive. In a society where many children come of age in foster homes and state institutions, this deci- sion is clearly in the best interests of children. While the New York decision is wel- come, there remains much to be done before homosexual parents are fully accepted - it will still be very difficult in practice for gay and lesbian couples to adopt. For this reason, this ruling must be seen as only one move toward full rights and freedoms for gay, lesbian and bisexual people. Nevertheless, the court ruling is refreshing. One can only hope more such changes will follow. PRESS CLIPPINGS Absent progress, 'compromise' must do By David Katz Perhaps recently fired Cali- fornia football coach Keith Gilbertson should seek ajob with the "nonessential" component of our federal government. At least for the time being, he would have a measure of job security. Of course, Gilbertson is probably far too competent to ever attain a position of power in the federal ranks. The successful politician must be willing to "compromise." If you haven't noticed, this week has been a virtual cornucopia of compromises: Newt agreed to let federal employees, with the ex- ception of Congress, get back to "work," and Clinton agreed to let the next president deal with the nation's financial crisis. Following in the footsteps of their congressional idols, the As- sociation of Students of the Uni- versity of California (ASUC) Business Management Board (BMB) made an astonishing com- promise, agreeing to actually meet because, hell, they "finally real- ized that it's important." (I don't David Katz is a junior majoring in English and philosophy who will not be held responsible for that whole blue naked thing. This article originally appeared in the University of Calfornia's The Daily Californian. know guys, it's only our money, "important" may be pushing it.) And of course, we must not for- get the university, which won't let rising fees dispel them from compromising a mere $292,500 to buy Gilby out of his contract. Amid all these nail-biting compromises, I was shocked to find that Clinton, Newt, the BMB and the alumni all maintainedtheir positive outlooks. There must be something wonderfully positive in the autumn air; the spirit of holiday giving has at last landed in the lap of the powerful. With this thought in mind, I rushed to the nearest phone and contacted my Visa company. In the wake of a promised reduction of our multi- trillion dollar deficit, my bank would surely be willing to work out a little "compromise" over my infinitesimal bill. In fact, the ominous institution was appar- ently in the giving mood. Just the other day I received a notice from my bank urging me to advance my limit: "... and for the first day you will maintain a low interest of only 2.9%. If you find yourself unable to pay off your expendi- ture within 23 hours of incur- rence, we will possess your soul, a simple and painless process per- formed by our branch supervi- sors Ward Connerly and L. Ron Hubbard. Of course, if your soul does not meet our minimum col- lateral standards, we reserve the right to possess the souls of your family, friends, and that girl you liked (and we mean like, like- liked) in the third grade." Although my bank was un- willing to actually speak to me on the phone, the touch tone opera- tor/Yoda advised me that, if one is going to "compromise," one needs to have something to com- promise. I pressed 3 and was told: "Compromise is for the power- ful, the rest of youjust complain." The unwillingness ofmy bank to compromise really came as no surprise. Luckily, my father has always taught me how much au- thority sucks. Unfortunately, the authority he used as a didactic aid was his own. It was my father who first demonstrated what con- stitutes a successful compromise, at least when dealing with some- one more powerful than yourself: Dad: Clean your room. Negotiator Dave: All right, but first I need to eat. Dad: Clean your room! Negotiator Dave: Relax Dad, I will, when this show is over. Dad: Clean your room! Negotiator Dave: Five min- utes, Dad. Chill! Dad: Clean that room, which used to be yours, but which will soon be occupied by various for- eign boarders now that you have decided to save us money by liv- ing on the street! When I became a matriculated student I was frustrated, but ndt surprised, by my powerless post- tion - bottom on the totem pole of power. Not only am I forced to obey the authority ofthe real gov- ernment and the real police, bait also the ASUC, the Student Con- duct Office, the library security and sadly, even the campus wo1 service. In the bureaucratic fish -Onk that is the University of Califor- nia, the students are the feeder goldfish. As a group, we areae indispensable meat of the sys- tem, we make the campus what-it is. But as an individual, I often feel like my head is caught idfe filter as innumerable guppiesan- noyingly nibble atmy ass. (So ne- times I start a harmless metaphor and it gets a little too crazy.)., Nevertheless, I am conftd 1t that without these momenti of seeming helplessness, studeats would be all the less inspiredWe are continually urged on by th:e notion, "It has torget better t9an this." For the time being, we have nothing to "compromise" but-qur- selves - and we are not above this. The next time a professor criticizes your Dukes-of-Hazzard reading of "King Lear," simply paint yourself blue and streak naked through his class. If-he questions your actions, calbily respond, "Haven't you heard, we're in an era of compromise." HOW TO CONTACT THEM University Regent Philip Power (D-Ann Arbor) 412 E. Huron, P.O. Box 7989 Ann Arbor, MI 48107 University Regent Rebecca McGowan f A L&nn Arhrl A PERFECT MATCH University Regent Daniel Horning (R-Grand Haven) 600 S. Beacon Blvd. Grand Rapids, MI 49417 University Regent Nellie Varner f rDrtmit rd) U you The Daiy aditermal nails _I ==