4 - The Michigan Daily - Friday, November 17, 1995 I BRENT MCINTOSH MCINTOSH CLASSICS 420 Maynard Street Ann Arbor, MI 48109 Edited and managed by students at the MICHAEL ROSENBERG Editor in Chief JU LIE BECKER JAMES M. NAsH Mastering the geat art ofSmall Talk: s~orts, psych and weather University of Michigan " Editorial Page Editors Unless otherwise noted, unsigned editorials reflect the opinion ofa majority of the Dail 's editorial board. All other articles, letters, and cartoons do not necessarily reflect the opinion of The Michigan Daily. LSA-SG leader's plan will fuel bureaucracy fLSA Student Government President Rick Bernstein's recent LSA reform plan were to come to fruition, the University's College of Literature, Science and the Arts would be no more. Existing in its place would be the 'College of Humanities, the College of Arts and Letters, the College of Communication Arts, and the Academy of Sciences. This simply doesn't have the same ring to it as "LSA" -for more reasons than one. Bernstein's proposal defines the central LSA administration as the problem and the faculty as benefactors of a flawed system. He concludes that issues of salary and tenure could be more easily resolved in smaller subcommittees. His ideas demonstrate noble concern for members of the faculty, but a flagrant disregard for the students who would have to eke out a liberal arts education amid the confusion. The LSA Student Govern- ment has a responsibility to represent the student population and act in the students' best interest. For the most part, Bernstein has done so in his presidency: Relevant propos- als such as teaching assistant quality im- provement and reform of drop/add conse- quences mark Bernstein as a responsible and concerned leader. With this new proposal, however, he jeopardizes the credibility of both his leadership and his agenda. The dan- ger of losing credibility with administration and faculty is serious enough; losing student trust may doom future LSA-SG efforts. The proposal is based on Bernstein's ob- servation that the LSA curriculum is not as specific or delineated as the University's professional schools. To split the college, however, would undermine the very nature ofthe liberal arts education as defined by the University. LSA, by design, is a diverse college that embraces a variety of disciplines - or, as Bernstein states on page 1 of his proposal, "an academic potpourri." The fact that the curriculum is varied is not in itself an invitation to reform. LSA students earn de- grees in concentrated disciplines - but they also have access to supplementary options, available to them within the college. One of the primary selling points of Bernstein's proposal is that it would serve to reduce bureaucracy within the college. Simple arithmetic demonstrates that dividing one by four is contrary to the concept ofbureaucracy reduction. In the current college, students attempting to coordinate requirements deal only with interdepartmental communication and negotiation - a significantly challeng- ing task and, more often than not, a frustrat- ing hassle. Under Bernstein's proposal, stu- dents - in order to obtain a true liberal arts education - will have to cross not only departmental lines, but collegiate lines as well. The plan offers no preliminary indica- tion of bureaucracy reduction. If anything, communication would become much more tedious and confusing. This reveals the ma- jor flaw of the plan - ultimately, the stu- dents will suffer. If LSA-SG wishes to call for administra- tive reform, it must find a feasible way of doing so. Specifically, future proposals must not force students to shoulder the burdens that would accompany a delineated College of LSA. Bernstein's proposal, by complicat- ing students' pursuit of a liberal arts educa- tion, has forgotten the real objective - un- tangling the bureaucracy that stands in the way of an education. Small Talk is an art. Most people do not possess the skills to Small Talk: with sadness and a sense of woeful inadequacy, I admit that I am among the vast majority who cannot Small Talk properly. Small Talk requires us to remember names, something I absolutely cannot do. It's not just remembering them in the longterm. I forgetthem in minutesseconds. Many times, the name never registers at all. I'm introduced to the woman who could be my wife, but when our common friend does the "Romeo, meet Juliet; Juliet, meet Romeo" thing, I'm too consumed with not looking like a total dork to remember her name. Which, of course, makes me look like a total dork. It just prolongs the agony. Many people I know have this problem of forgetting names. My mother, for ex- ample, saw me for the first time in months the other day. Her response? "Oh, it's great to see you again ... what was your name again?" This lack of nomenclatural memory has spawned a unique vernacular at large col- leges across the country. At small schools, students can be expected to remember other students' names. At large research universities - for ex- ample, this one - students cannot be re- quired to remember all of their fellow stu- dents' names. I tried. I forgot 647 of the 35,000-plus names at Michigan. So we do this thing called "generic nam- ing.' You know: You met some kid at Orien- tation, you're now a sixth-year junior, and you see the guy in the library. "Hey, what's up, dude?" you say. Or "How's it going, chief?" Or "big guy," "girlfriend." or "beauti- fui'' When someone addresses you as one of' these, you can take it as a compliment - or you can realize that your "friend" just can't summon your name from the depths of his or her memory. Such are the intrigues of Small Talk. Well-executed Small Talk requires in- depth knowledge ofjust about everything on the planet - or else it requires the ability to convince your fellow Small Talker that you have such knowledge. True story: I once sat at a wedding recep- tion with the world's greatest Small Talker. le managed to draw a University of Michi- gan psychology professor into an involved discussion of the nuances of operant condi- tioning that would have made B.I. Skinner jealous. After the professor had left, I asked Mr. Small Talk where he did his psychology doctoral studies. "I know nothing of psychology,." he con- fided in me with a hushed voice, "except what I learned from a half-hour PBS special two years ago." He later admitted that he only watched part of the show; he just caught glimpses while making lasagna for his girlfriend's parents. He then went on to talk about the weather. The weather is the favorite topic of Small Talkers everywhere, but in Michigan the weather Small Talk takes on a deeper di- mension. People in 'my classes love to say, "Hey, it's really cold out today, huh, dude'?" To be polite, I reply, "Yeah, pretty cold today, chief" Inside, though, I'm thinking, "Yeah, of course it's cold. It's mid-November in Michi- gan." This really doesn't bother me as mind- less chatter, but when people start to whine about the weather, that's a different story. It's Michigan - it's supposed to be frigid for six months of the year. Did you expect Acapulco? Second only to weather on the Small Talk Top 10 is sports. People who hate sports - for example, artsy-fartsy types - can't figure out why sports draws so much idle chatter. Let me clue you in: Many of us are sports fans. Why be a fan of sports? Frankly, it's better than being a fan of weather: "Well, droughts are pretty good this year, but I was always raised to be a torrential rain backer." (The city of Miami has recognized the fundamental divide between fans of sport and fans of weather, and is attempting to heal the rift by calling their teams the Heat and the Hurricanes. Apparently, south Flo- ridians suffer the delusion that a Dolphin is an atmospheric event, some sort of cloud formation.) Whoa. A whole column about the inane and decidedly tedious topic of Small Talk. And you read to the bottom. Thanks. Maybe I'm not so bad at this Small Talk thing ... I'm sorry, what was your name again'? -Brent McIntosh loves to Small Talk over e-mail at nctoshl(gumich.edu. JIM LASSER -s15 OVENMEN T HA CoNE Too SHARP AS TOAST F AIZ , H pF/&F9 A EUR< NOTABLE QUOTABLE 'Your threats are unwelcome and" out of place.' - University Regent Andrea Fischer Newman (R-Ann Arbor), rebuking George Brewer, faculty government chair, for his comments on the Code ti WA K CA WEAPON S = -10'/- Of L Do(jot4 "TS cf * 19 , - .... eo*** awwmwsw ({ V. . I 5T5V E 5 70 7 - WA5HI 4,1rN apt THET SMITHONIA 1THE SMITHSONIAN - Photos under wraps The Minnesota Daily takes a bold stand I O ne of the most difficult decisions jour- nalists can face is whether to protect the integrity of their profession and publication or to obey court orders that may compro- mise it. Students at the University of Minnesota's Minnesota Daily are currently embroiled in this dilemma. The paper's edi- ':tor in chief has decided to risk jail to protect Jthe publication's credibility and First Amend- ment rights. The case revolves around a fight that occurred at an anti-Nazi rally in 1993 on the university's campus. The defendant claims he was protecting himself from the other individual, who may have been wearing brass knuckles. A photographer from the paper attended the rally and took pictures of the fight--which, prosecutors say, may clear up contradictory eyewitness accounts of the in- cident. Late last month, the Minnesota Court of Appeals ruled that the student newspaper must surrender these unpublished photo- graphs to the court, which will decide whetter prosecutors can use them for the case. This decision capped off nearly two years of legal battles to keep the photographs from the prosecution. The paper's editor in chief, Michele Aimes, deserves commendation for her bold stand to risk jail in order to hold onto the photos. The integrity of journalism depends largely on the public's trust in reporters to cover the news fairly and objectively -to be indepen- dent of the government. If papers begin serv- ing courts with information,journalists would have a more difficult time finding sources, readers could try to physically harm mem- bers of the news media and much of the public would view their main source ofinfor- mation as tainted and lacking integrity. America's entire media would suffer. If The Minnesota Daily turned over the photographs, it would lose much of its readership's trust and confidence. For this reason, the Minnesota court's decision is faulty. Courts must understand the impor- tance of public trust. Any attempt to make the journalist compromise or erode this trust will undermine one of the fundamental purposes of the press: its objectivity. This situation rarely arises at college pa- pers, so The Minnesota Daily's decision is important. The court will soon decide whether to hold Aimes in contempt for her refusal to comply with the order. Much of the nation has looked to Minnesota in recent weeks to see what will happen, and this case could set a precedent. Defying the court order would help other college papers around the country make similar decisions and bolster students' confidence in their universities' papers. Newspapers should never become the right arm of law enforcement agents, and should never be forced to aid them. The overall outcome is bigger than the specific paper or people involved and its effects may linger for many years. VIEWPOINT Nation of Islam is a mispercelv By Cynthia Manson I'd like to clear up several misperceptions about the Nation of Islam that have appeared in this paper since the Million Man March. It is good so many have recognized the importance of this event. In discussing Minister Louis Farrakhan's leadershipand the role of the Nation of Islam in black communities, however, we need to avoid oversimplifications common in the media. The Nation of Islam is a sepa- ratist organization, and has as its theological basis the belief that the black race is chosen by God (Allah), and will one day be re- stored to its original glory and power by the power of Allah. At this point, white people, who are believed to be creations of an evil force, will be judged by Allah as part of the restoration of justice. While this theology is not very attractive to those of us who are white, it is also not unique in Western religion. Various Chris- tian theologies include the idea of the restoration of the Chosen at Judgment Day, and many include severe punishment for all others. The Nation of Islam is only one of many perfectly respectable reli- gions that have condemned me, Manson is a teaching assistant for Religion in the African American Experience. and people should consider their context before getting upset about the Nation of Islam alone. The Nation is similar to white supremacist groups in its belief that the Chosen are decided by "race." The Ku Klux Klan also believes that the destiny of the white race is to rule in God's Kingdom. The similarity ends here, however. While the Nation of Islam, like most other Western theologies, believes that the ar- rival of God (or Christ, the Mes- siah, or Allah) begins the period of restoration, the Klan believes that humans must prepare the Kingdom, and advocates terror- ism in pursuit of this goal. Nothing in the theology of the Nation of Islam will result in a member burning a cross on your front lawn or engaging in vio- lence in the name of Allah until Allah Himself is here. In fact, with a very few exceptions, Na- tion of Islam members support non-violence, and carry no weap- ons. Malcolm X's phrase "by any means necessary" pertains only to protecting the hard-won right to vote, and all of those who fought the American Revolution did so for the same principle. Separatist theologies are frus- trating forthose who are excluded, but whites should not be too quick to accuse the Nation of "accom- plishing nothing." The Nation has focused on protecting and serv- ing the most invisible members ofblack communities, and is more successful at prison rehabilita- tion than any public or Christian group (black or white). Nation of Islam schools are popular among both members and non-members. The respect that many have for Minister Farrakhan is a response not to his theology, which is lim- ited in its appeal, but to his activi- ties, which are widely known in black communities but virtually unreported in the national press. Minister Farrakhan's remarks about Jews and others are serious and troubling to both whites and blacks, but are often discussed as though they are the only evidence of anti-semitism in our society, when Pat Robertson and others with national political ambitions are equally culpable. The situa- tion is worsened by the mispercep- tion among whites that blacks universally accept Farrakhan's views, when in fact, the Nation of Islam is not large (it has roughly 20,000 to 50,000 members, while orthodox Islam has more than 2 million African American adher- ents), and is itself split into sev- eral factions. Many remarks at- tributed to Farrakhan's organiza- tion are products of splinter groups led by people such as Khalid Muham-med. One need only look as far as Headline News ed group to know that Farrakhan's theol- ogy was not why so many at- tendedthe Million Man March, The men I know who went did so to support the universal religious ideas of peace and atonement, and to respond to the negative image of black men in this cul- ture. Finally, it is unfortunate that white people compare modern black leaders, including Minister Farrakhan, unfavorably with Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. It demon- strates a fundamental misunder- standing of Dr. King's philoso- phy to apply words like "color- less society" to his vision. He was working for the repeal of legal segregation, not necessarily for complete integration. His "legacy" has largely been defined by whites, often under the same misperception that there is one preferable "black" viewpoint. In fact, while he was not a separat- ist, King's goals for black com- munities were not really at odds with those held by the Nation of Islam. Minister Farrakhan's speech on Oct. 16 was a testi- mony to the common goals of various religious groups in the black community. Although he would not agree with Nation of Islam theology, Dr. King would no doubt have been supported Minister Farrakhan's message of peace. We should all value that. HOW TO CONTACT THEM Michigan Student Assembly Flint Wainess, President 3909 Union 7R A 9A1 LETTER Clinton should back down in IUS. ijdget Slick Willie had a cow, and said that the plan had too short a time- table, and came out with his own plan to balance the budget in seven years, which is the timetable of not be allowed to spend more than it takes in, except for situa- tions such as wartime. There are more than enough outdated agencies and depart- to rely on government to take care of them in all aspects oftheir life, instead of using the programs as safety nets for the truly needy. Well, we can no longer afford i