The Michigan Daily - Wednesday, November 15, 1995 - 9 There. A whole review of Hole without even saying the "C" word. - Brian A. Gnatt Ozzy Osbourne Ozzmosis Epic Yeah, Ozzy is the grandfather of metal, and yeah, he is Beavis and Butt-head's favorite artist, and most of all he is Ozzy Osbourne. But with his latest release, "Ozzmosis," Ozzy fails to rule anything but, huh huh, my butt. It's a surprise "Ozzmosis" is as dull as it is. With its 10 tracks of mediocre metal and hard rock, it comes as a disappointment after Oz's last studio record, "No More Tears," which had a number of good songs and big hits. "No More Tears" gave hope that maybe all of Ozzy's creative juices weren't drained with great singles like "Mama I'm Coming Home," "Time After Time," "Mr. Tinkertrain," and of course, "No More Tears." After he announced his retirement with the release of the album, it seemed like such a shame he was bringing his career to a halt. But not anymore. "Ozzmosis" is a definite let down from the potent songs on "No More Tears," and gives the impression that the last record was somewhat of a fluke in the real "Batman"'s career. With the songwriting team and lineup of Oz on vocals, Zakk Wylde on guitar, Geezer Butler (Black Sab- bath) on bass, the possibilities seemed endless with a half-Sabbath reunion. Nevertheless, the album turned out to be a dud and a disap- pointment. The Gothic metal of "Perry Ma- son" is fairly dull as is the ballad "I Just Want You." "Thunder Under- ground" just seems to drag on and on uneventfully, and "My Jekyll Doesn't Hide" (give me a break, Ozzy) is just more of the same. "See You On the Other Side" cap- tures some of the classic Ozzy sound, but is only one of a few interesting tracks on the album. As always, just about every song is about Ozzy losing his mind. "Could it be that I have found my mind or have I gone insane," he sings on "Thunder Underground," and "Living in the thunder / Driv- ing me insane," on "Tomorrow." He sings "I fight the demon, but it just won't fall," on "Ghost Behind My Eyes" and "Inside the soul lies a man insane," on "My Jekyll Doesn't Hide" and finally "Out of my mind and I'll never know why," on "Old L.A. Tonight." The biggest disappointment comes with the line, "I don't drink holy water/I'm not the son of Christ/ I ain't no black messiah/and I don't load my dice." C'mon Ozzy. You are still the holiest of them all, even if your album does suck. And don't you forget it! - Brian A. Gnatt Luna Penthouse Elektra You are getting very, very sleepy ... your eyelids are heavy, and you must shut them ... you are falling into a deep trance ... you are listening to Luna's third album "Penthouse." All kidding aside, Luna's latest ef- fort makesDean Wareham and the rest of the band out to be master mesmer- ists. Their hip-but-friendly, warm-but sophisticated music borders on the ambient but remains, essentially, won- derfully sleepy pop. Songs like "Moon, Palace," "Chinatown" and "Lost in Space" conjure up an affable tran- quility that's quietly addictive. While "Penthouse" doesn't have the immediacy that last year's brilliant "Bewitched" brims over with, it-is Z. solid and rewarding work. Like sleept it's a good thing. - Heather Phare" These are Courtney Love and Eric Erlandson with two of the many people that have filled in the gaps of Hole. RECORDS Continued from Page 8 Hole ask For It Caroline ,What is there to say about Hole that hasn't already been said? We know who they are. We know what tbey are. So here's why you're read- i about them: -r-aroline Records has released an P-from the band that was recorded after the "Pretty On the Inside" ses- siobs and before the band signed to DGC Records. This mini-album was never released before now because of licensing problems, but here it is - a collection of covers and BBC tracks that captures a couple early versions of "Live Through This" tracks and some covers to create a pretty decent disc. "Ask For It" is kicked off by a rockin' rendition of the Wipers' "Over the Edge" which was also released as a "Miss World" B-side. The track is the best on the album, and unfortunately, the rest of the songs go downhill from there. A rough and rather poor recording of the Velvet Underground's "Pale Blue Eyes" follows, and the band's cover is disappointing. "Drown Soda," which also ap- peared on the "Tank Girl" soundtrack appears from a BBC session along with early versions of "Doll Parts," which is basically the same as on "Live Through This," and "Violet," which is pretty darn rough and gritty compared to the later album track. The EP finishes up with a cover of the Germs' "Forming" and Beat Happening's "Hot Chocolate Boy." The track is again rough and off-key, but cap- tures the band's anger and makes the poor quality recording accept- able. The most interesting thing about the EP is its cover art, which features a pair of beautifully razor- blade scarred wrists. JImmy Carter (with illustrations by Amy Carter) The Little Baby Snoogle_ Fleejer Times Books Yes, this book was written by former President Jimmy Carter. Yes, this book is about a snoogle-fleejer. Yes, it is meant for kids, and if I .was a kid I would like it. I would like it because it is about a snoogle- fleejer. Snoogle-fleejers might seem like they are scary, but they really aren't. They are very nice once you get to know them. This is Carter's 10th book, and thank God he decided to leap to children's fiction. His last book, a poetry collection called "Always A Reckoning" was rancidly bad, sap- laden and trite. His new book isn't so bad, because this one actually intends to appeal to a readership with the mental capacity of kindergarteners. Carter's daughter Amy provides the unspectacular il- lustrations, which give all the char- acters bad hair on top of their al- ready mounting problems. And the characters in this book have their problem, but nothing a little late '70s feel-good liberalism can't cure. The little boy in the story is named Jeremy. He is crippled and the chil- dren treat him like an outcast. They mock him and spurn him; Jeremy is treated like dirt and he gnashed his teeth and bit the recessed lady's breast ... oops, wrong Jeremy. This Jeremy doesn't hit anyone with a surprise left, instead he en- counters a vicious-looking sea beast known as the snoogle-fleejer. Yes, he is tripping, but not on acid, on Carter's new book isn't so bad, because this one intends to appeal to readers with the mental capacity of kindergarteners. sea rocks. He loses his crutch and has to face the snoogle-fleejer. The snoogle-fleejer turns out to be a nice guy and even helps Jeremy fund his mother's costly operation. Innocent children's story? Ha! Think of it ... Jeremy's the son of a poor single mother;then his mother gets sick and then she can't afford a life-saving operation. So if you share this book with children you love you should ask them to ponder some simple questions: Can you say "political allegory for universal health coverage," kiddies? Can you say "the snoogle-fleejer represents the federal government and that former president Carter is advocat- ing a society in which we all ride middle-class tax dollars into con- tentment and financial security", kiddies? No, of course you cannot, kid, you are six. But you should think about it. -Dean Bakopoulos *Lecture Notes " Course Packets " Resume Services " Copy & Bindery *Fax Services BOOKSTORE White-ou-Wai 0 COPIES 8.5x11 20# white Grade A Notes at Ulrich's Bookstore Second Floor - 549 E. University - 741-9669 l z ++ I I i r t 's R s f i t rp 6 The Problem Student Legal Services, which provides legal advice and representation to all U-M students, has been without a fee increase for several years. As a result, SLS has been forced to lay off employees and its ability to serve students has been reduced. The Solution SLS needs your support on MSA Ballot Questions 1, 2, and 3. I Support STUDENT LEGAL SERVICES ........... mm :.:. >: : < ., .: ;:,:>:; < s ,,b:;; .: ;,z '-. - .+ T ":: F a ppH :, r. ff^ :k'? :': it 'i ';;,$ q 'Z s Lk 2 } R ' t "s >.E 3 <:r4< c 5 :. x 3 _ .'4,. o. I'' Career opportunities at J.P. Morgan Iier'ieusfor U tdieiiy of Michigan brusiiwss seiors will be held onl Tlednesdar.; .JnariI'Iv 17 1996 for a p)osilon in 1"A(llitV IResearchl Insvestment Bainkim Please submil corer letter and resume /I1 I i'h lm-l11 - , ' lwv 1l )0. 5 to VOTE YES VOTE YES While not a long term fix, this will on Question 1 band-aid SLS by releasing money held by the Regents in escrow The fee should be increased next on Question 2 year so SLS can pay its staff reasonable wages and benefits