The Godfather, Part II
"Senator, you can have my answer now if you
like'
See Sunday.
Mich Th. 8:55
TUESDAY
Hamlet
Mel Gibson's Hamlet is refreshingly alive. Worth a
look.
(Franco Zeffirelli, 1991)
Mich Th. 9:00
W E D N E S D A Y
Hamlet,
See Tuesday.
Mich Th. 7:00
. . . . .
Robot Carnival
See Sunday.
Mich Th. 7:00
THU RS DAY
Robot Carnival
See Sunday
Mh Th. 7:00
* * 
Awakenings
Robin Williams plays plays the doctor who breaks

through the silent world of coma patients including
Robert DeNiro. Emotional and well-made, by
Penny Marshall.
(PennjT Marsha, 991)
Bch Th. 8:50
F R I D A Y (4/26)
Robot Carnival
See Sunday.
Mich Th. 7:00
Awakenings
See Thursday.
*Mich Th. 8:50
S AT U R D A Y(4/27)
Films on Women Photographers
The works of artists Diane Arbus, Imogene
Cunningham, Dorothea Lange and Julia Margaret
Cameron are spotighted.
Aud D 10:00am

Sketchpad

Career Opportunities (PG-13)
21-year-old brat custodian at a department store
gets locked in on first night with hot babe. Not
suggested viewing for anyone with traces of brain
activity. From director John Hugh (HFlore Alone),
the man who took substance out of cinema (At
Fox Village: 4:30,7:15,9:15)
Chameleon Street (R)
A street changes colors eased on the level of
ozone depletion in the atmosphere combined with
the rainforest destruction and also including grape,
coffee and veal boycott success ratios. Actually,
chameleon man, a la Zelig, changes identities like
we change clothes.
(At Showcase: 2:25, 7:30)
Class Action (R)
Father and daughter film against the backdrop of a
big court case where they are pitted against each
other. Starring Gene Hackman. (At Showcase:
1205, 2:15, 4:30, 7:20, 935,12:; At Briarwood:
10,12:05,2:20,430, 7,910, Fri & Sat 11:20)
Dances With Wolves (PG-13)
The official theme film of the Eastern Michigan
Hurons, Florida St Seminoles, and the Cleveland
Indians. See the Sioux deal with white meanies
while Costner kicks some Buffalo ass. There is a
rumor that all the buffalo belong to CSN man Neil
Young, don't quote us on that (At Briarwood: 10,
1:30, 5, 8:30; At Showcase: all week 12:30, 4, 8;
Fri & Sat 7:25 and 10:45)
Defending Your Life (PG)
Albert Brooks stars in his newest film, taking a
post-life trip to Judgement City to fight for his life.
On the way he meets Meryl Streep, Lee Grant,
and Buck Henry in this romantic comedy about
what really happens after death. (At Showcase:
12:10, 2:30,4:55, 7:20,9:45,12)
The Doors (R)
Take a good band. Then create a cult around them
for 20 years. Then take a baby-boomer, headin
the clouds, over idealistic, pretentious filmmaker
like Oliver Stone to mak a idm about them. Forget

Fred Zinn


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townies, high school kids, and out-
of-townies who run around in
patchouli-ridden tie-dyes and bells
on their ankles? And all in the name
of legalization of marijuana, a cause.
for which we don't give a thought
the other 364 days of the year. But
remember: "A joint is not the
point."
Way Duderstadt Gets to
Work
The Steam Tunnels
That's right you might not be
allowed down there, but he is. Why?
Because he's president, that's why.
Of course, this isn't the only way he
gets to work, as the multiplicity of
responses easily demonstrates.
Some of our favorite responses
include "Star Trek teleporter,"
"skateboard," "rollerblades," "his
secretary," "slithering," "pogo
stick," "Ho Chi Minh Trail,"
"monorail," "Big Wheel,"
"disguised as a woman," and
"magic." Fun extra credit project:
combine as many as you can into
one sentence. Example:
"Duderstadt, disguised as a woman,
slithered up to his secretary's magic
pogo stick and hopped along the Ho
Chi Minh Trail until he got to
work." Fun on long car rides.
Best Regent
Worst Regent
Deane Baker
Deane "Not in My Bathroom"
Baker won both categories this year,
implying heavy divisions on
campus. But don't be deceived: the
only reason he did so well is that
he's the only regent most students
have heard of in the first place.
Best Activist Group
EnAct U-M

Worst Activist Group
MSA
By a long shot, MSA snatched
this one right up. Could it be
Action's protests against
deputization and the Gulf War, and
its fact-finding mission to the West
Bank, all of which were futile?
But fear no more: Conservative
Coalition promises to have no such
agenda. In fact, their agenda is to
undo everything Action
accomplished, which should take
about two days.
Most Irritating Student
Organization
MSA
Most of us were expecting the
Revolutionary Workers League, led
by the cherub-faced Paul
Carmouche, to win this category
hands down and fists raised. We
were shocked when MSA ran away
with the election instead.
But when you think about it,
MSA really is annoying. First, each
student has no choice but to pay an
annual fee for their services of
$13.54. This sum is part of our
tuition payments, so we are unable
to pull a Thoreau and refuse to
cough up the cash, lest the
University slap a few hold credits
onto our accounts.
What other organization claims
to represent the students, though
its leadership received votes from
less than 10 percent of the student
body?
Best MSA Member
Brett White
Worst MSA Member
Jennifer Van Valey
Yes, it's true, someone actually
managed to win Best MSA
Member. And you thought that was
an oxymoron. We suspect ballot-

stuffing, but we can t prove a thing.
So congratulations to
Communications Committee Chair
White, but don't get too full of
yourself. Remember: Van Valey
was popular once, too.
Top 12 Reasons Why
Corey Dolgon Quit
MSA
12. He found out George Bush is
his real father
11. He ran out of original protest
ideas
10. So we wouldn't have him to
kick around anymore
9. Sang too much
8. Needs to find himself
7. CC is scum
6. He is not scum
5. Getting married
4. Can't handle real life
3. He plans to run for president in
1992
2. Needed more time to groom
beard
1. When God answers your prayers,
why question it?
Biggest Campus Idiot
(write-in vote)
Todd Ochoa
Ochoa the Chalker, infamous for
his anti-deputization scrawl on
University concrete, faces charges
of malicious destruction of property.
As usual, MSA showed its political
savvy by deciding not to foot $450
of his legal fees after voting to a
week before.
He also inspired our cover photo.
After what we wrote about MSA up
above, we suspect they won't vote
to pay our legal fees, either, if
Duderstadt sends his deputized
posse after us.

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Corey Dolgon performs "Under My
"The Bob Dylan of Our Generation'
protest album?
Best Cause/Issue/
Movement
Anti-Deputization
Worst Cause/Issue!
Movement
The Drake's Five
It's official: strange people
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_. . ._ .... L . .

I'

April 19, 1991

WEEKENP

Page 24

Page 5

WEEKEND