Best

of Ann Arbor '90'91

At long last, the results of the Best of Ann Arbor '90-'91
readers poll are in! Hundreds of you turned in ballots, for
which we are grateful. After seemingly endless hours of counting
ballots and coming up with ingenious ways (if we may say so
ourselves) to describe both the predictable and the surprising,
here are the results...
Best of the University.

Best Professor
Drew Westen
Last Friday, at 5 p.m. Psychology
Prof. Drew Westen was edging out
English Prof. Ralph Williams as the
lawfully-elected Best Professor on
campus. At 5:05, a tall, dark stranger
strode into the Student Publications

Building with 26 nearly-identical
ballots, each of which named Prof.
Douglas Kahn of the Law School for
this category.
Ordinarily, we would have had to
declare Prof. Kahn the winner.
However, after conducting various
tests, the boys down in the lab

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reported that almost all of the ballots
were filled out using the same pen.
What's more, the handwriting on
most of the ballots was identical. For
this reason, we have no choice but
to declare Prof. Kahn ineligible, and
give the Best Professor title to the
departing Westen.
Worst Professor
J. David Singer
Singer, a Political Science
professor, nosed out colleague
Raymond Tanter. One of our voters
commented, "If all of him were
proportionally sized to his ego, no
woman in Ann Arbor would be
safe!"
Best Department
History
The category on the ballot was
"Best Course," but after receiving
votes for 55 different courses, we
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decided to figure out which
department had the most Best
Courses.
Biggest Blow-off Course
Geology Mini-courses
Ice Ages, Past and Future.
Dinosaurs and Other Failures.
Waves and Beaches.
You register, you skip every
lecture, you photocopy your friend's
course notes, you take the Scantron
multiple-choice final exam in 30
minutes, and you get at least a B+ or
your money back.
Best Excuse for a Late
Paper
Computer meltdown
The general excuse of computer
difficulties ran away with it. Other
interesting excuses included
possession by Satan, dog ate it,
roommate ate it, girlfriend drooled
on it, and, most simply, death.
Best Excuse for Cutting
Class
Sleep
Sleep edged out soap operas by
one vote. Anything about the
weather applied as well ("Rain or
snow, I don't go").
Best Library
Best Place to Study

The Grad
Interestingly enough; the Grad's
stacks also won the balloting for
"best place to go all the way."
Hmm. "Yeah, Mom, we're going
out to study."

about a tactual, realistic portrayal. (At Fox Village:
4-30, 7, 9:30; At Showcase: 9:55, 12:15)
The Five Heartbeats (R)
Director Robert Townsend (Hollywood Shuffle)
tells his story of the Motown years in this story of a
fictional Black singing group that rises from inner-
city poverty to national fame. (At Showcase: 12,
4:45, 9:40, 12:10)
Goodiellas (R)
The picture that should have won the big one, but
nonetheless a gem. Three gangsters rise out of
the tough streets to try to break into the mafia
establishment. Great scrip, action, performances
and direction from Martin Scorcese. (At Fox
Village: 4:30, 9:15)
. . . . . .
Home Alone (PG)
it has moved into the all-time Top 10 list for
highest grossing films. If that doesn't say
something about our culture... Help i beat E.T., go
see it for the fourth time, it only needs $150 million
more. Are people really stll seeing this?
(At Briarwood: 10:15, 12:30, 2:40,4:50, 7:15,9:30;
at Showcase: 12:45, 3,5:05,7'30)
. . . . .
Long Walk Home (PG)
Sissy Spacek and Oscar winner Whooo Goldberg
recreate the tense times surrounding the
Montgomery bus boycott in the'60s. It bombed the
first time out last year, so they released it again.
Let's hope this trend doesn't get out of control. (At
Showcase: 2:10, 4:20, 7:15, 9:20,11:40)
Marrying Man (R)
Alec Baldwin plays the slick, '40s playboy who
can't decide whom to marry- Kim Basinger or
Elizabeth Shue.Throw in some mobsters named
"Bugsy," some neat chase scenes, and Kim taking
it all off, and you have typi'cal Hollywood trash that
brings in the bucks. (At Showcase: 12:20, 2:40, 5,
7:35, 9:55, 12:15)
. . . . *..
Mortal Thoughts (R)
The friendship of two women begins to deteriorate
when the murder investgation of one of their
husbands begins to close in on them. Tense
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drama starring hubbies Bruce Willis and Demi
Moore.
(At Showcase: 12:35, 2:45, 5, 7:35, 9:50,12; at
riarwood:10:15, 12:30, 2:35, 4:40, 7:20, 9:30,
11230)
New Jack City (R)
See the movie everyone's rioting about. Bring your
crowbars for easy access to stores for looting after
the show. There are guns and cops, but no code in
this street film, starring Big Budd Judd Nelson and
Lipton Iced T. (At Showcase:12:25, 2:40, 425,
7:40, 9:40,11:50)
Out For Justice (R)
The Detroit Red Wings, desparate for a Stanley
Cup championship, sign Steven Seagal to kick
some ass on the ice. When New Jersey tough guy
Troy Crowder sucker-punches him at the Joe in
front of 19,000 faithful, Steven is out for justice.
(At Showcase: 12:40, 2:50,4:50, 7:30,9:45,
11:45)
. . .4 . .
Reversal of Fortune (R)
Jeremy Irons is back in his Oscar-winning role as
the cold and calculating Claus Von Bulow. Did he

0 0

kiil Sunny? The movie wonf tell, but it's great fun
anyway. (At Fox Village: 7:00)
Rocky Horror Picture Show
Rocky and Bullwinkle are haunted at the home of
Johnny Carson while waiting for the late-night host
to return from a round of golf. During the tense
hours, they see Doc Sevrenson's trumpet floating
through the air, they are forced to watch reruns
with JayLeno as host, and the mail arrives filled
with Ed McMahon Publisher's Clearinghouse
winner's packages. What a horror show.
(At Barwood: Fri & Sat 1130)
Shipwrecked (PG)
A bunch of bratty child-star wanna-be's founder on
a treasure island and pool their incredible intellects
to stave off a group of central casting pirates. Just
when you think this picture is going to be canned,
it lasts another week Must be this year's Disney
tax write-off. (At Showcase: 12:10)
Silence of the Lambs (R)
Hannibal the Cannibal is alive and well and on the
loose. He ould be hiding out at Showcase
Cinemas, waiting to eat whoever was responsible

for the admission pice hike to $5.75 there.
Hannibal is a cold, ruthless killer, of course, but he
also sympathizes with students who have tight
budgets and he let us know that he will not be
doing any killing at Briarwood, where those with
IDs can see a show for $4.50 and not have to
travel seven miles to do it Watch out, Showcase
execs, if the price goes to $6 in this college town, I
fear a bloodbath. (At Showcase: 12, 2:25, 4:50,
7:25,10,12:20; At Briarwood: 9:50,12:05, 225,
4:45, 7:10,9:30, Fri & Sat 11-35)
Sleeping with the Enemy (R) MSA
Campus rumor mils report that former pinkoMS
presidenr Jennifer Van Valey and incoming
fascist dictator James Green are having an affair.
Although the Daily cannot confirm, we felt that if it
was true, this would be an appropriate title for the
film when it is made. But there is actually a film
called Sleeping with the Enemy with Julia Roberts
as a battered wife. Personally, I'd rather see a film
with Van Valey and Green having it out in between
sex scenes. What do you think?
(At Showcase: 12:50, 2:55,5:10, 7:45,9:50,
11:55)


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15 YEARS OF SERVING ANN A

Drew 'God' Westen
Best Place to Work Out
CCRB
Coincidentally, the CCRB also
received many votes for BestBPick-
Up Spot. Where else can you view
potential mates in Spandex while
working up a sweat.?
Best Campus Tradition
Hash Bash
Where else but Ann Arbor can

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April 19, 1991

WEEKEND


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WEEKEND

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