Page 8- The Michigan Daily - Thursday, March 28, 1991

RECORDS
Continued from page 5
The back cover of this album
sports an artist's rendition of four
flies circling a hairy ass with severe
acne and a tattoo in a heart that says
"Kristy" on it. Printed in the upper-
left corner is:
"Limited Edition of
666 copies -
Vinyl Only!"
Between the legs, attached to the
ass, is the statement: "A no
imagination recording."
On the front cover, beneath the
album's title, is the individual who
must be the owner of the ass, and he
is, if you can imagine, even scarier
than it (the ass). To add to his
charm, however, he's holding two
daisies and a heart. Above his right
ear in a red circle it says, "List price
$6.66. Do Not Pay More!" Across
his body is written: "...thankfully,
NO music by: Phil Collins,
Copernicus, Don Henley, Love
Delegation, Marshmallow Over-
coat, Sindad O'Connor, Smithereens,
Sonic Youth, Springsteen, Swans, or
even B.J. himself! In fact, there's no
music on this record at all!"
There isn't.
-Kim Yaged
Great White
Hooked
Capitol
Osmond Boys
Osmond Boys
Curb
On their last record, Great White
couldn't be differentiated from Ian
Hunter and all his young dudes. This
time around Jack Russell stuffs his
denims like Robert Plant, but the
pressure makes him sound like
Dizzy. Dean Richardson of Britny
Fox. Meanwhile, the rest of the
boyz groove as hard as the Faces
post-Rod Stewart and Ron Wood. In
other words, the full title of the al-
bum is probably London Phil-
harmonic's Hooked on the Blues.

Give repressed Mormon dweebs bles
white-bread singing prowess hair ext
endless resource of Molt the Hoople

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ssed with their family's unmatched 0
ensions, jam-packed jeans and a ~
fake book guitar riffs and what '
"i
The Raintree Rockin'" could easiTl~
translate to a verse about trih
Mormon Tabernacle Choir and
besides, cornholin' chicks up ari'
down the boardwalk isn't all th't :
different from polygamy.
--Peter Shapirag
Fonke Socialistiks
You Are My Heaven
(CD single)
Priority records ,
Regardless of how dope their
name is, this new rap act should take,
cues from their eminent label-mat
on the audience: When we're out:
here kickin' it with the brothers, we
don't care about lovers.

A pnotojournalist and a little kid stand in the middle of a field in Boat People.

When Hollywood films are set
in exotic lands, the typical result is
a story that has more to do about the
transplanted American heroes' wit
or marksmanship than the foreign
culture in which they finds them-
selves (Good Morning, Vietnam and
Air America, for example). Films
such as The Killing Fields and the
beautiful The Year of Living
Dangerously (both non-Hollywood
films, even though Dangerously
stars Mel Gibson and Sigourney
Weaver) have captured the flavor of
their setting, but the foreign coun-
tries still remained mysterious,
with only glimpses of local lives
and customs. It is in an arena of such
negligence that the Hong Kong
movie Boat People seems refresh-
ingly alive.

Set in Vietnam in 1978, three
years after the "liberation" of Da
Nang by the communist army, Boat
People is about the conditions of
Vietnamese lives that made escape
as boat refugees preferable to stay-
ing in their own country. The film
shows us Vietnam through the eyes
of a visiting photojournalist from
Japan who discovers that the world
he finds when wandering alone is
very different than that shown to
him by his official guides. He be-
friends a family and uses them as a
means to understand the Vietnamese
people; for example, why they don't
want to move out of the city to the
New Economic Zones (NEZ) that
seemed so wonderful when shown
to him by his guides.
The details of the family's daily

life are horrific: the 14-year-old
daughter is following her mother's
footsteps in prostitution, the chil-
dren daily search executed bodies
for valuables, their friend is forced
to search for and deactivate mines at
an NEZ. The terrifying police state,
the appalling necessities of life and
the inhuman living conditions do
not seem mysterious at all, but very
real, and one shares the photojour-
nalist's desire to help the family es-
cape. Unfortunately, the only escape
for the Vietnamese is through the
refugee boats, and we all know too
well the tragic voyage that those
boats took.
Boat People is being shown
tonight and tomorrow at the
Michigan Theater.
- Brent Edwards

have you got? Great White.
Where Great White learned their
blues from Aerosmith and Mott the
Hoople, the Osmond Boys learned
their Motown from N.K.O.T.B. and
father Alan. Outlaw imagery aside,
the only thing differentiating these
two bands is the hair on Jack
Russell's chest.
The O-Boys' signature number,
"Bein' Boys," shows up on Hooked
as "Call It Rock n' Roll," while
Great White's paean to fucking,
"Desert Moon," becomes "Next to
You" in the hands of the pre-
pubescent Mormons. Unfortunate-
ly, Salt Lake City isn't conducive to
a hometown celebration like "South
Bay Cities," but "Big old sun and
cool sea breezes/ Roller girls ain't
no teases/ I know she'll do what she
pleases for me/ Ain't no stoppin'



TURTLES
Continued from page 5
The movie begins in a fun and
ridiculous display of ninjitsu, as the
turtles take on an enormous number
of thieves in a battle at a shopping
mall. At one point, one of the tur-
tles beats a thief up with a salami
and asks him if he wants a pickle,
while yelling about "cold cut com-
bat." From that point on the movie

does a good job of establishing its
own comic book world, an effect
mainly achieved by tight camera
work: effects such as a lack of a full
cityscape in the film or a shot of a
turtle toe sticking out from behind
a bamboo screen. Unfortunately,
Vanilla Ice ruins this effect and
brings the viewer crashing back to
this world. He doesn't really act,
but just sings and pretends to be
cool, which is exactly what he does

in this world.
Ice's inclusion in the film de-
stroys it for another reason as well.
Combined with the logical incon-
sistencies mentioned earlier, it
knocks the viewer on the head with
another message. Hollywood no
longer considers film an art, but a
industry.
TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA
TURTLES II is being shown at
Briarwood and Showcase.


The boys of Great White are (-r) Audie Desbrow, Jack Russell, Michael Lardie, Tony Montana and Mark Kendall:,.
Michael, Nathan, Douglas and David Osmond in about 15 years?

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