Continued from page 9 s
Kuwait had not attacked Iraq like
the Palestinians had attacked l
Israel. Furthermore, the Kuwaiti
government, unlike the
Palestinian Liberation
Organization, did not have a
charter calling for attacks on andt
eradication of Iraq as the PLO did
of Israel.
On the other hand, those who
link the issues said it was
important to examine the politics
of the entire region to understand J
how Arab anti-American and
anti-Israeli sentiments have
evolved from the U.S. -Israel
alliance.
They point out that while
there are 12 U.N. resolutions
condemning the Iraqi occupation
of Kuwait, there have been 66
proposed U.N. resolutions
concerning Israeli aggression, and
the U.S. blocked 23 of them.
Several times the U.S. was the
only dissenting vote.
'America has a right to
be involved. Saddam has
been defined as a Hitler,
and I believe that's true.'
- Jennifer Loss
LSA senior
"The issues are definitely
linked," Matthews said. "The

U.S. ishypocritical at best by
saying it's going to abide by U.N.
resolutions (in the Iraq-Kuwait
dispute) when it has ignored the
Israeli occupation of the West
Bank."
After Iraqi attacks on Israel,
many feared an Israeli retaliation
could break the coalition, and if it
didn't, a United States
withdrawal from the Gulf would
leave Israel to fight Iraq on its
own.
The idea of Israeli involvement
is "making people think a lot
more about their decision," said
LSA senior Jennifer Knoll, a
leader of the Rally in Support of.
Israel held one day after Iraq
attacked Israel. "It's not true that
Jews are all supporting the war to
support Israel," she said."But
they are struggling more."
Whatever their stance on the
Persian Gulf, by mid-week,
students were inundated with
views as media analysts tried to
explain a situation that many
Americans still did not
understand.
Those perspectives, if not
always changing minds, warned
that the Persian Gulf War is not a
simple issue, and anyone who had
yet to take a stance on the
situation could find it difficult.
Said LSA junior Eric
Hofmann of the crisis and the
media and his still unsettled mind:
"When you're getting news from
both sides, it's hard to know
what to believe... There's no
black and white in this issue. It's
gray, as these things usually are."

Unsanitary Thoughts on Laundry,
Hygiene, and Your Food

[Warning: Neither myself nor
The Michigan Daily is.
responsible for any gory, fatal
stabbings which may occur as
a result of this column. Do not
read this while eating.]

I've been having a few
hygiene-related problems
recently. First of all, I still can't
JONA H N get used to doing my own
HA laundry. Maybe it's a gender
thing. Anyone who has spent time
in laundry rooms can't help but
notice that, in general, women do laundry every week,
sometimes even to wash a specific outfit, whereas guys tend
to put off laundry until faced with the prospect of public
nudity. I'm not saying that men have lower sanitary standards
than women. I'm saying that guys have lower sanitary
standards than most forms of bacteria.
A good example of this was my high school football team.
Some of our players made a point of going an entire season,
practices and games, wearing the same shirt underneath their
shoulderpads. Without washing. By the end of the season,
the shirts would begin hardening overnight, so before every

practice they were completely stiff. You could literally hold
one by the collar and it would stand straight out horizontally.
They had to beat their shirts against a wall just to soften it up
enough to put it on. The point is, it should come as no
surprise that laundry is not a very high priority to most males.
Part of the problem is the media. Laundromats are always
portrayed on television as a sort of singles bar without drinks,
where young men and women gather in tight jeans to bend
over washing machines and leer at each other, when in fact
they are actually loud, muggy rooms where strangers gather
to stare suspiciously and throw each other's wet clothing on
the floor. At first I would put off laundry for as long as
possible, until, after a few weeks, I had achieved the "street
person" look. Then the intervals between laundry began
shrinking to two weeks, ten days, a week. It slowly began to
dawn on me that all of my clothing was gradually being
stolen. In fact, all that I had left was the oldest, scrungiest
clothing which even the tackiest thieves had rejected.
Even more serious than laundry theft, though, is the fact
that the shower in my hall has only one soap tray. As a result
of this, each day we are cruelly forced to make a terrible
decision: should we place the soap or shampoo on it? For
reasons of accessibility, I generally choose to place the soap
on the tray. But this decision is not without its consequences.

I have to place the shampoo or
People in this world can be
categories: those who rememb,
from the shower stall floor, anc
the latter category. It's not like
showerers in my hall have any
my shampoo at every opportur
days without shampooing. And
dandruff.
At this point you're probab
talking about. You probably fe
have absolutely nothing to do1
fates of shampoo misplacers ar
inexorably linked. For when a
misplacer such as myself eatsi
inevitably lean over the food a
Every time you take a bite of c
very well contain large, deceas
I should probably explain t
Did you ever hear the riddle a]
in a restaurant, orders sea gull,
himself to death with his knife
he killed himself. (It turns out
person thinking it was sea gull
seagull tasted different, he rea
and stabbed himself in shame.
in restaurants are blunt, this m,
extremely painful procedure. c
needed in case people, after re
paragraph, became so disguste
might be simultaneously readi;
attempt to impale themselves
tragic development indeed, ur
the person who stole my clothe


Alan McCandless (left), LSA sophomore, Jason Livingston (right), LSA first-year student, and Marc Tassin
(with sign), first-year Music School student show their support for American soldiers stationed in Saudi Arabia
at the SOS (Support Our Soldiers) rally last Saturday in the Diag. JENNIFER DUNET7ZWeekend

For Ex-TV Junkies, A
Student's Guide to Today's



Seasoned
It might have been one of any war in th
number of rallies held on campus organizati
in the last year, except that there developed
were more people. It was Jan. 15, hung post
the night of the U.N. deadline for schedule
Iraq to withdraw from Kuwait, on campu
and as thousands crowded the participat
steps of the Michigan Union, As ant
there was a sense of deja vu. with the;
Holding the bullhorns and the war,s
leading the chants of "No blood committe
For Oil" and "Troops Out Now" handle p
were many students one might the move
term the seasoned activists on activities
campus. They were veterans of group's p
the deputization protests held in Approxin
November. Many had experience now regu
as members of the Michigan body me(
Student Assembly, the Latin Yet th
American Solidarity Committee, largely ui
the Palestine Solidarity who had1
Committee, or the Homeless "It'sr
Action Committee. involved
That night, however, they moveme
worked under a new name - said Dav
Students Against U.S. the SAU
Intervention in the Middle East who has
(SAUSI). LASC, F
SAUSI, the largest anti-war myth th
organization on campus, first moveme
evolved out of MSA's Peace & happen
Justice Commission. Meeting in Rath
late November, about 30 students deal of w
met to discuss the possibilities of involved

e Gi
ons
d in
ters
d th
s.
ted
ti-w:
app
so d
es
ubl
.me
th
posi
mat
ular
,etin
e l
nd
led
not
in
nt)
id
SI
als
HA(
at
ents
spa
per, I
wor
d an

activists lea
ulf. Using "pqstering" and activities.
al skills they had The movement's methods
other groups, they have been conventional,
, held meetings, and consisting mainly of rallies and
he first anti-war rally marches. On Tuesday, the group
About 200 people held a sit-in at the Institute for
1. * Social Research, attempting to
var sentiments grew connect the University's military
proach and start of research with weapons used in
did SAUSI. Four the war.
were established to The action sparked memories
icity and outreach for of both anti-Vietnam sit-ins of
ant and to plan the Sixties, and of the
at would spread the deputization protesters who took
tion on the war. over the Fleming Administration
ely 300 to 400 people Building in November.
ly attend general . "These are traditional means
ngs. that people use in sort of
eadership remained grassroots movements," said
er the control of those Jennifer Van Valey, MSA
before. president. "There's a historical
surprising that people precedent that the government
organizing (the has to listen to what the people
have had experience," are saying."
Levin, a member of But whether such a movement
steering committee, can have the same effect as those
o been a member of of the sixties is a point of
C and PSC. "It's a contention for some members of
opposition and social SAUSI.
just somehow Most vocally opposed to the
)ntaneously." tactics are supporters of the
he said, it takes a great Revolutionary Workers League.
k to get people "The RWL does not believe
id to organize that this war will be stopped by

shocking the middle class. What
it will take is a movement that
will literally shut down this
country," explained Paul
Carmouche of the RWL. "Such a
movement will have to be
massive... and massive is the
key," he said.
Vocalizing their opposition to
the SAUSI leadership during its
weekly meetings, the RWL has
been a source of tension for
organizers.
"I personally feel that they're
more concerned about their own
movement than they are about
this movement, and that is very
frustrating," said Rochelle Davis,
a first-year graduate student in
Near Eastern studies and a
member of the SAUSI Steering
Committee.
Most SAUSI members react
negatively to RWL proposals,
pointing out that the RWL
supports "the victory of Iraq."
SAUSI is fundamentally opposed
to victory for either side of the
war.
Yet even strong supporters of
SAUSI say the movement could
be handled better.
. "Rallies are very important for
the people who participate

d SAUSI battle

because people have to be out
feeling they're doing something,"
said Graduate student and SAUSI
member Jeff Hinte. But, he added,
"I don't think the anti-war
movement is going well. Many
more effective actions could be
taken." As an example, he points
to what he considers a successful
action: an anti-war memorial on
the Diag which 15 people
constructed.
Organizers admit there are
problems in coordinating the
work of a large membership.
"Obviously it's a lot easier to
run meetings with 30 people. The
size of the movement and the
intensity of emotions makes it
difficult," Levin said.
But criticism won't faze the
movement, SAUSI leaders say.
Action isn't as important right
now as education, said Allison
Rolls, a graduate student and
Steering Committee member.
"At this point, one of our
major focuses is education. We
need to try to redress some of the
imbalances and distortions of the
mainstream media," Rolls said.
"As students, we can draw the
kinds of connections of what goes
on on this campus."

Like most students, up until
college, I considered television
slightly more important than
breathing. However, now that I'm
in college I've spent so much
time begging for change under
the Arch, protesting deputization,
and trying to convince Michigan
State students that it really was
pass interference, that I've had
relatively little time for television.
And since I know that your
semester went about the same
way, I decided that it was my
journalistic duty to turn on the TV set this winter vacation so
as to keep you in touch with what you've missed.
New Television
Of course, the biggest disappointment of the season was
the heartless cancellation of "Cop Rock," despite the
growing audience among 32 year-old brunettes named Billy
Jo who live in urban Wyoming and spend their weekends
watching reruns of "Fame." Nevertheless, there is a glimmer
of hope. After flipping through the channels on a Thursday
night and passing C-SPAN XVIII and The Poker Channel
and being scared away from NBC by Vanessa Huxtable's
hair, I came upon an interesting cartoon featuring a family of
hideous overbites,*bad attitudes and hairstyles inspired by
Satan. I usually don't offer predictions, but I really think that
this show has potential, and if it ever catches on, it could be a
merchandising bonanza. I also predict that the Lions will not
win the Super Bowl.
Meanwhile, on the same station I found another
interesting show called "In Living Color: The Television

Series," whose philosophy is that the best way to ease racial
tensions and bring about equality is to insult, stereotype, and
degrade Blacks and whites equally. They were originally
called simply "In Living Color," but the publicity crew for
the rock group "Living Colour" decided that the reason the
band was not receiving the attention it deserved was either
because they did not have dreadlocked singers lip-synching
for them or that people were tuning in to the television show
instead. They settled upon the latter reason, and thanks to
our world class legal system, the injustice was rectified.
Unfortunately, the countersuit to change Living Colour's
name to "Living Colour: Not The Television Series But
Sometimes You'll See Us On MTV" was denied because of
legal precedent set in the Bud v. Bud Light case.
1-900 Advertisements
Of course, the 1-900 number is not a new phenomenon.
In fact, this idea has been around since the beginning of
time. It is written in Genesis 2:17:26:down:seehike that "On
that day, He didth ordain that should His creations
telephoneth 1-900-THE-LORD and answer six Biblical
Pursuit questions, they shalt win either a forty-day, forty-
night Mediterranean Cruise, tickets for two to The Garden,
or a year's supply of Rice-a-Roni, the San Francisco treat." In
fact, Biblical scholars agree that the real reason Eve ate from
the Tree of Knowledge was to win big prizes, but that after
eating the apple she realized with horror after being banished
from Eden that touch-tone telephones would not be
invented for 6,000 years.
However, now that touch-tone is as abundant as those
exponentially-increasing magazine offers at the bottom of
Ulrich's bags, every night I am bombarded by these party
line commercials. According to the ads, the gorgeous women
who appear have nothing better to do after 2 a.m. than spend

$2 the first minute, and 95 cer
talk to anonymous men of whc
they are lonely enough to be N
and sick enough to call. Of cou
different phone lines than reg
party lines to phone confessio:
feel free to shop around.
Half-hour comme
This is a trend I really can't
commercials have been gettin
course, there still are those Sp
that spend two minutes trying
vast majority of 18- to 30-year-
to be able to talk on the teleph
ear, but this is usually the exce
But now it has been discos
car wax is to buy an entire hal
the product. The object here:
you are not watching a comm<
new series called something li
Discoveries." The purpose of
betrayal is to show that if you
obliterated in a nuclear holoca
remain miraculously shiny and
a studio audience-most likel
attending the gala and respon
flashes the "Look Astonished
the nerve to interrupt the prog
advertise (guess what.?) THE
Of course, the question is,
individual is actually bored en
programs? In the era of remot
battery and two couch pillows
paralyzed and is forced to sit t
addition, these programs mak
talking on 1-900 numbers.
(I know that I haven't ansu
foremost on your mind, so for
was Mr. Palmer.)

I 1 VIII


January 25, 1991

WEEKEND

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WEEKEND

Jane