And the Dream
PAT-CHES Turned Out True
But Not for "Y" Employment Secre-
This is sure getting it handed to tary,, But for Aged Gentle-
you! On the assignment eheet we man
found just these sad words: "P. A. T. _____
-We are out of HUMOR." Well, the
Chief ought to be back in his usual It was the good old summer time.
good humor after he reads this little On a certain day in this sain old sum-
EPILAFF mer time the employment secretary of
Our editor's surname is Nieter, the University "Y" sat at his hot desk
Than his smile you will find nothing in his hot office in the hot Y. M. C. A.
. a Yr Wii . I P Irrr
-er,
He has worked till he's lean
On this old Wolverine
And he's made it g famous world-biet-
er (?)
THIS SHOULD BE CURTAILED
"Say, that's a lively pup."
"Yes, he is. I picked him up down
town for only a dollar, too."
"He doesn't look like a thorough-
bred."
"Oh, no, but he'll be all right to
watch the house. He's clever, too.
Come here, Ingersoll."
"Ingersoll? What a funny name for
a dog!"
"Well, you see he's our dollar watch
dog."
on a extremely hot chair. Floated be-
fore his eyes visions of water green
cold water, water in dripping goblets
with the tinkle of ice in the tumbler,
beautiful pictures of marble white
shower baths with the cold aqua pura
pouring from above and the stinging
thrill of that same water trickling
down his nacked back. He sighed, it
would be two hours at least before he
could make a hike for Waterman gym.
Suddenly the phone bell jingled. He
became the old alert secretary ready
for business.
"Hello."
"Yes, this is the 'Y' employment
bureau."
"You want a man to-what?"
"Why,-er, Y-e-es, I think so."
"Certainly, I'l send a man right up."
OUATEAMASTIBS WIN
CAME BY 12 10 5 SCOBE,
,Varied Crowd Watch Initial Contest
of Military Men; Score Still
Disputed
Twelve to five with the Quarter-
masters chestily claiming the long end
of the score, is the latest report on
the hot game held on South Ferry
field last Saturday' between the nines
representing the Quartermaster and
the Ordnance departments. The crowd
that witnessed the game was sprinkled
with khaki suits, palm beaches and
the bright colors of the fair sex.
The officials' of the game were Doc-
tor George May and John Edmunds as
umpires and Mr. P. Bartelme acted as
waterboy until one of the umpires
came up and took a long drink and
then he promptly handed in his resig-
nation.
Alibis are not in good form, but the
following have proven worth stickin'
to:
"Hink" Hinckley missed a pop fly
near second base because he stepped
into a gopher's hole and wrenched his
knee. "Hud" OHara could not throw
down to second base because John
Edmunds was always in his direct line
of vision. "Bill" Niemann forgot his
promise and struckout a dozen, oppos-
ing batsman. "Mac" Mahoney is a
professional player.
"Dwyer and Hammond" lacked sup-
port since the Ordnance team followed
coach Yost's saying, "Every man in
every play';" and a push ball contest
resulted: "Tubby" Springer hit the
ball but he ran around the bases as if
he was a safe and was locked to the
ground.
Quartermasters played errorless
ball.
Ordnance played errorless ball.
Quartermasters stole 18 bases.
Rumors now circulating about the
military stores class rooms have it
that the pick of the two teams will
challenge the Company I boys for a
game regardless of the bet they offer.
Authentic Compilations on the Game
Eight Enrolled for
New irill Period
Major Wilson's Classes Start Course
in iilitary Map Making
and Reading
Eight men have signed up for the
extra drilling period to be given at 7
o'clock every Wednesday evening on
Ferry field under Major Wilson. The
new squad will commence active work
tomorrow evening in the science of
military training and drilling.
Major Wilson's classes in military
map making and reading started this
morning. Problems of transporting
supplies, advancing reserve forces, at-
tacking effectively and other practical
war moves are given to the students.
Any one who desires to obtain a
knowledge-of this variety of work
should apply immediately at room 445,
Engineering building.
Semaphore and signal work, to be
given from 15 to 30 minutes each drill
period, was commenced Monday morn-
ing by Major Wilson's. military classes.
Drops Tuesday Trip to Jackson.
Students in the Quartermaster and
Ordnance departments have dropped
their Tuesday afternoon trip to Jack-
son. It was found that sufficient time
was spent every Thursday in the dif-
ferent manufacturing plants at Jack-
son to take off the regular schedule
for Tuesday afternoon.
Professor Bursley's Military Stores
Methods classes are planning to give
a dance, a banquet with the Detroit
alumnae and several entertainments
before the courses close in August.
The schedule for the remaining base-
ball games between the departments
will be announced later.
Given Commission as Captain
Wisconsin, July 23.-Prof. J. H.
Matthews of the chemistry department
of the University of Wisconsin has
been commissioned as captain in the
ordnance section of the reserve offi-
cer's corps. He will leave soon for
Washington from whence he will be
sent to France shortly.
A
i
S. 0. S. He turns to a waiting student. "Cac
Jane-"You may have only one, you handle a scrubbing brush?"
John." "Sure."
Frank-"ily name's not John, It's "Know anything about shampoos?'
Frank." "Yes.",
Jtne - "Oh, I beg your pardon, "Not afraid of water?'
Frank. I thought it was Monday eve "No."
ning." "Then go to this address. They want
*Also stand for "Said on Sunday.' someone to give an old man a bath.'
- The student leaves, the secretary
0:x, BOY!2 turns to the reporter. "Lotsof unusu-
I wish I were her glove so small- al jobs, but that is the most unusual
Such luck would be just grand: this summer."
I'd nestle in her silver purse
Or hold her dainty hand. TO HOLD RHOADES
(May be continued.)
EXAMS IN OCTOBER
COMPANY I MEN GIVEN $25
AND SIX COMFORT KITS Date Set for Competition for English
Scholarship of Large
The men in Company I are destined Value
to have mighty good things to eat.
Last week the Sarah Caswell Angell Examinations for the Rhoades schol-
Chapter presented Captain Volland arship, valued at $1,500 a year for
with a check for $25 for the mess fund. three years, will be held on October
They also gave six comfort kits. 2 and 3. The scholarship commences
Permission has been granted to the October, 1918.
Sarah Caswell Angell Chapter to knit All competitors must be citizens of
for the men on the Paul Jones and the United States, between 19 and 25
the Tingy. The Louisa St. Claire ye Ut ae s, be e 19 da25
Chapter of Detroit will knit for the years of age, and must, before the date
O~ria, a estryer.of entry for residence at Oxford, have
O'Brian, a destroyer. mpedatlathirscnyar
The clipping bureau is another completed at least their second year
branch of the D. A. R. work. Its ob- at some regular degree-granting
jet is to provide the soldiers with American univrsity or college.
reading matter. .dApplication should be made to the
Another feature of the work is the chairman of the committee, President
adoption of French children. This is Marry B. Hutchins, as soon as pos-
meeting with favor throughout the sible. A memorandum giving further
country. particulars may be obtained either
from President Hutchins, or by com-
Directory of all the Summer School munication with the office of the
Students now on sale at the State Rhoades Trust, Syemour House, Wa-
Street Bookstores. terloo Place, London, S. W. S.
1857-Dry Goods, Furniture, and Women's Fashions---1917
.t
Y
SVMMEI. SCH OOL
TET BOOKS
NEW AND SECOND-HAND
DRAWING INSTRUMENTS
StPplios of All Kinds
The Slater Book Shop
Ph'lojme 430 336 so. stag. St.
1
In Sport ?___ =Al
a or Study,
Lt' Work or ly '-
a o
0 The acme of deliciousness and refresh-
O ment"whether you're "burning the mid-
night oil", or after a stiff game. A treat g e a s
rc at any time. encourage substitution
THE COCA-COLA COMPANY. ATLANTA, GA.
C 3 C C>0E~>0 ~)0E~~] ]
Quartermasters. R.
Mahoney, lb. ....... 2
O'Hara, c........... 0
Niemann, p. ........ 3
Guy, 3b.............3
Miller, ss. .... . . .. . . 1
Humphrey, 2b. ...... 0
Hinckley, 2b. ....... 1
Walsh, if. ...........0
Holmes, if. ......... 0
Levinson, cf. ........ 1
Brown, rf........... 1
Ordnance. R.
Herrick, lb. ........1
Young, 3b. .......... 0
R. J. Burdick, cf..... 2
Hammond, c. ....... 1
Perry, 2b. ......... 0
C. H. Burdick, rf. ... 0
Dwyer, p. ...,..... 1
H.
2
1
2
2
1
0
1
0
1
1
H.
0
0
1
1
0
0
1
E.
0
0
0
0
0
0
0
0
0
fl
fl
E.
0
0
0
0
0
A cool, quiet dining .place
where an appetizing lunch-
eon can be obtained at a
moderate cost during any
part of the shopping day.
Special Noon Dinner, 65c
(Second Floor)
Springer, If. ....0 0 0
Kneeland, sa.........0 0 0
MAKE OVER 5,000 LOAVES OF
BREAD DAILY FOR MARINES
Port Royal, S. C., July 23.-Over
5,000 loaves of "bread like mother
used to make" are produced daily by
the marine corps bakers in their giant
bakery at the recruit depot here. This
amount is required for feeding the re-
cruits undergoing the "two-in-one"
marine corps course of intensive train-
ing for modern warfare.
"First to Fight" also means "First
to Eat," say the marines, and they be-
lieve their "chow" is fully as impor-
tant as their military education.
Michigan Directory Beats Wisconsin
Wisconsin, July 23.-The publica-
tion of the summer school directory
of the University of Michigan super-
seded that of the University of Wis-
consin by several days.
TYPEWRITERS
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