AnIN istinguishes
INyand OUT for OUTS
By DAVID KESSEL

THE contemporary scene is full
of advice to young non-con-
formist individualistic type people
who want to be always in the
main stream of free-thinking
anti-middle class behavior, while
remaining true to their artistic
and philosophical ideals, what-
ever they are.
But much of this advice cannot
be applied in this particular situ-
ation, because you cannot simply
follow the teachings of, heaven
help us, the New Yorker, for in-
stance, and expect to be accepted
into the Ann Arbor circle of in-
dividualists, anymore than you
can shock Mother by joining the
Communist party. Mother will
just turn your name in to the FBI
and you're through.
And just as certainly, the local
gang will soon enough spot you
for a fraud ifyour ideas come
too obviously from New York, or
worse yet, London.
REALLY be IN, locally, you
have got to watch your step,
But since first impressions can be
deadly, what is one to do before
the foundations for a really first-
WELCOME
MICHIGAN COEDS!!
Our easy-do, casual hairstyles
are flatteringt
NO APPOINTMENTS NEEDED
Ask upperclassmen about us
DASCOLA BARBERS
Near Michigan Theatre

rate set of acceptable values can Hill Auditorium door is likewise
be found? . OUT.
This is where problems arise, Going to football games is IN.
for like the French 'sailor who Joining a sorority to escape from
wanted' to learn to speak idiomat- the dormitories is OUT. Joining
ic Boston English by working in a fraternity with a bias clause
a restaurant, and discovered five (especially if it's against you) is
years too late that he had been OUT.,
learning Greek at the Athens
Olympia, the student on Ann Ar- TAKING any Music Lit course
bor-style individualism can ap- for any reason whatsoever is
prentice himself to the wrong OU r FnyArts Is IN oy i
group and come out a complete oUT.fine art onl Hito y
clunk,.oefo mlltw.Hsoy
Since the situation is so com- English, Sociology, Astronomy
plicated, it is best to learn some of are IN; psychology is OUT, any
the basic rules, and then hope for course with the word "Intellec-
the thes t ocur o yu son-tual" in its name is auspicious,
the oters to ourth nyo poan and zoology, physiology, botany,
around a rule book, which at- and other courses involving messy
tracts unnecessary attention. Be- operations on plants or aninmals
sides, carrying rule books is OUT. are OUT. Medicine is OUT. Law
s r l i IN if your father is a lawyer or
R1OW TO get IN? That is the in jail. Otherwise Law is OUT.
crux of this entire affair, but And sending your father to jail
remember that if you carefully so you can study law is OUT,
follow this advice you will most Getting elected to SGC is OUT
probably get IN - exactly what (unless you are old enough to
you have gotten INto is some- know better). Getting appointed
thing you may never quite know, is farther OUT. Joint Judic is so
although you will have only oc- far OUT you can't see it. Paying
casional moments to wonder a fine to Joint Judic is OUT, but
about it all. if you don't, you are OUT.
First, remember not to discuss -
this matter with anyone, because
to express uncertainty about how
to behave is OUT.
Sitting around at the Union BEST IN
cafeteria drinking coffee and
talking about politics, religion,
English literature, sex, mathe-
matics, or anything else is OUT.-
Subscribing to the Choral Union
Series is IN, but the Extra Series
is OUT. Selling your tickets at the

Living in
but having a
con about it
on the floor
big cushions
unconscious
the floor a
been.
CAMPUS,
Fallinge
classes is IN,
then going t
BORDERLIN
tobacco into
is OUT. Ch

Pledge formals are OUT. J-Hop
is on the way OUT. Going to
Florida for Spring vacation is
SILLY. (This means it's OUT).
Kissing in front of dormitories is
IN, but you've got to be careful.
The New Yorker is OUT, along
with Life, Time, Saturday Evening
Post, Newsweek, and Intimate Ro-
mances. The New York Times is
IN, along with the Saturday Re-
view (which is drifting OUT),
Scientific American, and Wireless
World.
an apartment is IN With this rough guide, you can't
Iscene with Dean Ba- go far wrong, but there will al-
 scOUT. trDa Batsways be difficult moments. Wor-
are OUT, along with rying too much is QUT; remem-
television sets, and ber you can always start a new
,ele.Mattrssetsntrend. Starting new trends is IN.
people. Mattresses on The trends, wouldn't you know,
are mostly OUT, but they're fun.
behavior is crucial. David Kessel was defi-
asleep in afternoon nitely IN while teaching at
morning is OUT. But the University; however
to morning classes is since his , recent departure
IE. Carrying lighted for Harvard, he is most
University buildings certainly OUT.
ewing tobacco is IN.

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Page Nine