i PAOX 1 OrR THE MICHIGAN DAILY FRIDAY, JMY 2, 1954 ?AG~ oU TU-MCH-A -ALYFRDA. JLY-.9. OF BESSIES AND BOSSIES: 'Two Seeds Short' Is Sad Tale of Hopwood Winner By RUSS AU WERTER For our money, Burton Welcher, '55 Hopwood winner, English hon- ors student, and recipient of a University scholarship, is one of the most likely to succeed under- graduates. Mr. Welcher has lived a varied and interesting life which has in- cluded activities such as cotton picking, roughnecking on an oil rigging, sailing to South America, starting a novel, and cowpunching. Caught heading south on State Street for a short visit to the land of his birth Mr. Welcher was per- suaded by the Daily to give in his own words a short resume of his life. He spoke substantially as follows: "I was found floating down the Pecos River in a saddle bag in 1933; whether I was born up at the head of the river in New Mexi- co or down in Texas nobody knows. "I lived with a poacher who was a very industrious and silent man, so till I was about seven all the words I knew were howdy and see ya. I was socialized primarily by coyotes and still like to lie out In the sun at times and stretch and groan in the morning. Internationalist "I learned English from a Mexi- can who had learned it from a Cherokee; that's how I became a sort of internationalist at 8, but nobody ever understood me. Until I was 12 I thought that all there was in the world were ranch- ers, mexicans and a few coyotes of somewhat dubious character. "When I was thirteen I went east to Arkansas. There I met the first woman and, cow I ever knew. The woman's name was Bessie and the Cow's name was Bossie. Bessie bit me and Bossie kicked me. I learned how to rope cows but never women. Even though I have never been able to repress it, I know this was my first and only great trauma. "I lived up on a ridge two miles from town and all straight up. I used to calculate and calculate trying to figure out how I could go to town and come back going down hill both ways. One day I thought I had it so I went to town. On the way home I realized I had made an error. I have been home since. Become a Preacher "At 14 I was too old for a nursery school, too ignorant for a high school, and too young for a university so I became a preacher. One night I had all of Okasee coun- ty nearly converted to the Two- Seeds-In-The-Spirit Baptist Church Crosby in Hospital For Routine Check SANTA MONICA, Calif. ( -Bing Crosby's doctor says the reason the crooner entered St. John's Hos- pital Wednesday was for observa- tion of a kidney ailment he has had for several years. It is one of the periodic check- ups Crosby has, Dr. Frederick C. Schlumbergersaid T h u r s d a y. There has been no flareup of the ailment-which he declined to de- scribe-and no surgery is contem- plated at this time, the doctor ad- ded. -Daily-Russ AuWerter THIS HAT DIDN'T LOOK LIKE THIS WHEN I BOUGHT IT' when the meeting tent fell down on us. I thought it was a sign of God and raced to the river with my fervent followers behind me. When I jumped in I nearly cracked my skull--The Methodists had not only pulled my tent out from under me, but also dammed up the stream. A week later they damned me too and I had to leave Okasee County forever. So now as far as I know I'm the only Two-Seeds- in-the-Spirit Baptist in the world. "From there I went to Happy College. A middle class, middle sized, college in the middle west. It was run by the Four-Seeds-In- the - Spirit - Baptist Church and when the boys whom I lived with heard that I was a Two-Seed-In-The -Spirit man they immediately tried to save my soul. But they couldn't so I was sent to the Arch-Deacon of the college church who couldn't, then I was sent to the dean of men who couldn't, so I was s e n t to see the president of the happy college who was unhappy there- after because he couldn't. So I was sent away because I was two seeds short. Yale "I had been accepted at Yale and all the spring of my freshman year at Happy College I walked around dreaming that I was there already, but it seemed no different than Happy College and so I went to Michigan. "At Michigan I lived in a Quad where I met a guy not very un- like myself and so we were soon isolated. My last experience as a resident of the quad occurred a- round Thanksgiving two years ago. My friend and I ate everything at the dinner table and being over- ly full each of us agreed to pay1 the other ten dollars if he ate anything before next Monday. "Everybody knew that we were starving ourselves and it became a matter of honor to continue. One short swarthy guy on my floor' who was at the time going around with a girl with legs like a tree trunk tempted us with a box of food he had gotten from home. It contained a huge fruit cake and dates and figs. "He was very stingy and only offered us his food because he knew we wouldn't accept. I al- ways answered something like-if I took one I'd take the whole thing and he would say go ahead. On Saturday my friend and I de- cided to give our idea up so we had to sneak in and out of the dining room. "On Sunday after the usual offer of food I suddenly accepted and departed with the whole box. I ate the last of the figs in a small room- ing house on Packard Street. Phys. Ed "As far as phys. ed. is con- cerned I started with golf, but dropped it because all anybody ever said was about golf. When I took tennis I had no idea that it was such a long walk down that hill. "I got around to the courts final- ly sometime in the middle of No- vember and was hoping t h e y would let me drop because I knew I never would be able to make such a long walk in the cold again. They did, but told me that if I had come just once they would have failed me. In the spring I signed up for weight lifting because it was very close to the campus. But on my first trip to the gym as I watched a guy lying on his back lifting weights puffing like a choo chbo train I knew I would never be back. "I got many post cards, but that was nothing new by then. The next fall I took weight lifting a-I gain but didn't even go once. Last semester, I completed the weight lifting course. I didn't go much but made up the hours I had missed in the last week. I worked out live whole days and although Ihave no statistics I believe that on the last Saturday of school I was one of the strong- est men in the University." Questions We asked Mr. Welcher to com- ment on several pertinent topics. The following are his answers: On Women-particularly those looking for husbands: "To a wom- an a man is like a house. First she sees what is there then sees what she can alter. If there is a pos- sibility of a great deal of altera- tions the man is marriage materi- al. However, if a man is the boss the first time he is with a woman he always will be. On Religion: "I am beginning to wonder whether there is even one seed in the spirit." On college: "I gained ten pounds in college. The old man that gave out towels at the men's gym was a heck of a good guy. On politics : "I hate organiza- tions. I have never joined one. I was safe during the red witch hunt. I'll be safe when the white witch hunt comes, and the blue one, and the green one, and the orange, too. On the midwest: "Wheat and Swedes." On work: "I have always felt that pensions should always be given to people from 18 until the time they're 35. The only trouble with this is that everybody would probably kill themselves at 34." On Sex: "I think it's important." Lake Current Studies Enlist Aid of Bathers Fourth of July vacationers loll- ing on the sands of Lake Huron may find themselves painlessly participating in a study of lake currents recently begun by the University's Great Lakes Research Institute. Institute members last Tuesday set afloat more than 500 "drift bottles" which they expect to be washed up on the Huron's beach- es within a week or two. The sand-weighted bottles, put afloat from 98 stations on the lake, each contain a postcard to be re- turned to the Institute. The num- bered postcards, along with data the finder of the bottle will in- clude, will enable scientists to de- termine how far the bottle was carried by the current before be- ing washed ashore. Cooperating with the University in this experiment are the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service and the State Institute for Fisheries Re- search. According to Prof. James T. Wilson of the geology department, chairman of the Great Lakes In- stitute Council, the experiment will be repeated twice during the summer, with the results to be published in the fall. / 'U' Resumes Weekly TV 13r1oadcastIs The University will resume its regular weekly schedule of tele- casts with three programs being presented tonight over WPAG-TV. One broadcast in the "Gallery of Women" series being presented in conjunction with the "Woman in the World of Man" summer session program will also be pre- sented tonight over WUOM-FM and the University's Flint s t a t i o n, WFUM-FM. Opening the television schedule will be an interview at 6:55 p.m. with Frank Kline, assistant direc- tor of city park recreational acti- vities, on "Dateline Ann Arbor". Also included in the program will be film excerpts from the June 12 commencement, and a film feature showing equipment used at the Nuclear Congress held at the Uni- versity last week. "Studio Sampler," being pre- sented at 7:30 p.m., will include a program of Mexican folk songs and a photo documentary on the Law Quadrangle. Following this at 8 p.m. is the "Sports Parade", a program of University and community sports news, interviews, and instruction. A dramatic presentation based on the trials of settling northern Michigan in the year 1827 will be presented onhradio at 9:30 p.m. today. The story, "Land Sharks and Ague," is based on the account of Caroline Kirkland's actual ex- periences in the early days of pioneering in Michigan. 'Australia' Topic Of Speech by Dale A man who has traveled widely in Australia, Edward Everett Dale, professor emeritus of history from the University of Oklahoma, will speak at 4:15 p.m. Tuesday, July 6, in Auditorium A, Angell Hall. The speech, entitled: "Australia: Observations and Impressions" is sponsored by the University His- tory Department. Professor Dale was a Fulbright professor to Australia last year when he added to his travels through the country by studying universities and colleges. An interest in cattle which started when Professor Dale was a cowboy on his own ranch has lasted throughout his life. With his knowledge of ranching he is also qualified to speak on Aus- tralian economic life which is so dependent on cattle. Backers Say Bingo Motion on Ballot LANSING ( --Backers of a constitutional amendment legaliz- ing charity bingo yesterday claim- ed they had enough signatures to insure placing the proposal on the November ballot. E. J. McLaughlin of Merrill. president of the Michigan Assn. for Non-Profit Charities, the sponsoring organization, said that the group now has 316,000 signa- tures. Before the filing deadline on Friday, he added, the total was expected to increase to about 325,000. The petition needs 287,000 valid signatures. Steer Away BATTLE CREEK, Mich. () -Farmers in this area were warned yesterday to strip off low or broken branches from wild cherry trees, after three Hereford steers died mysteri- ously. The steers died at the Fran- cis Fairchild farm in Pennfield Township, Calhoun County. They were subjected to post mortem. Dr. Ted Jackson, Bat- tle Creek veterinarian, said death was due to wilted cherry leaves the steers had eaten. Although the leaves are not ordinarily poisonous, he said, the wilting action produces a toxic effect. January - June Output Listed By 'Big Three' DETROIT (A-General Motors Corp. reported yesterday its U.S. 1,607,534 cars and 249,485 trucks in this year's first half. The total compares with 1,637,072 cars and 325,505 trucks built in the same 1953 period. This year's January-June output includes 79,415 cars and 20,668 trucks built in Canada. Canadian output in the same 1953 period was 95,592 cars and 39,534 trucks. GM's June production this year was 274,576 cars including 9,934 built in Canada, and 36,983 trucks, including 2,890 built in Canada. June output last year was 308,924 cars including 17,484 built in Cana- da, and 44,314 trucks including 6,287 built in Canada. Ford Motor Co. yesterday re- ported its January-June output at 1,090,200 cars and trucks, com- pared with 786,082 in the same 1953 period. Chrysler's 'roduction for this year's first half w a s 426,720 cars and trucks. In the comparable 1953 period Chrysler divisions built 758,568 cars and trucks. hIez Pilk, Lecturer, Dies at Home Here Inez Pilk, lecturer and bendle- manufacturing consultant died early last night at her home on South State Street. Miss Pilk was sceduled as one of the speakers in the "Woman in the World of Man" series this summer. She will be replaced by Edith Pechstein, composer. Mrs. Pechstein is currently as- sociated with the Bartlette Music Research Foundation at Harvard University. Services for Miss Pilk will be held Saturday afternoon. Religious Services Religious services will be held at 8 p.m. tonight in the chapel at the Hillel Building. The ceremony will be a student service, headed by Sandy Jarashow. A mixer is scheduled at the Hillel Building from 7:30 to 10:30 p.m. on Wednesday. Dancing and refreshments are planned. The most effective means of reaching students and faculty of The University is the advertising columns of The Michigan Daily. Democrats Plan To Insure Bi-partisan Election Boards LANSING-1f---Michigan Demo- crats yesterday were all set to start court actions anywhere in the state to insure bi-partisan elec- tion boards. Neil Saebler, chairman of the State Central Committee, said the committee had distributed ready- made mandamus suits to county and district chairmen. Require Equal Numbers The suits would force election officials to obey the state law re- quiring equal numbers of Repub- licans and Democrats on election boards. "This year," Staebler said, "we are determined that our candidates will not be counted out by one- party election boards." "We should keep clearly in mind,' he added, "that what we are striv- ing for is not litigation, but observ- ance of the law by election offi- cials. We should exhaust our pre- liminary non-legal remedies before Plan Language Talks, Clubs The romance language depart- ment has planned a summer pro- gram for students interested in French and Spanish. Weekly lectures will be given on topics of interest to teachers of French and Spanish, followed by informal meetings with the speaker in the French-Spanish House at 1027 E. University. Two language clubs, the Cercle Francais and the Sociedad Hispan- ica, will meet every week in the Kalamazoo room of the League. Weekly afternoon sessions of the informal conversation groups, the Petite Causette and the Pla- tica espanola, are to be held in the Round-Up Room of the League. An address by Prof. Otto Graf of the German department, part of the series for language teach- ers, will be given at 3:30 p.m. Tuesday, 429 Mason Hall. The to- pic will be, "Co-ordinating High School and College Language Pro- grams. Lydia Courte is scheduled to present a lecture-recital on signi- ficant moments in French music at 8 p.m. Wednesday in the Kala- mazoo Room, under the, auspices of the Cercle Francais. Tax Collections LANSING (P)-Michigan took 290 million dollars in taxes on re- tail trade in the past 12 months, the State Revenue Department re- ported yesterday. The department said sales tax collections for the fiscal year end- ing June 30 totaled $276,500,000 -about $500,00 more than bud- get estimates had anticipated. we institute suits, but where elec. tion officials put themselves above the law, we should be prepared to go the full length." Chairmen Briefed The local chairmen, he said, have been provided with specific pre- liminary non-legal steps, prelimin- ary legal moves, a legal brief containing appropriate court cita- tions and a petition for mandamus. A U. S. Senate investigation of the 1948 election of Sen. Homer Ferguson and gubernatorial re- counts in the next two elections Staebler said, showed election a- buses in "Republican controlled" areas. The Republican-controlled 1954 Legislature, he added, failed to enact legislation to insure bi-parti- san electionboards. "The general public has cause to inquire whether the Republican party leaders who run Michigan elections are afraid of bi-partisan election boards," Staebler said. FREE!. $9.70 worth of accessories at PURCHASE CAMERA Buy a TDC PROJECTOR during July-Avgt s thse accessories worth $9.70 rUS YOU GETS r. t. M 1, .. ". } .r 4 eustom Selectrays (regularly $1.50 "Na Selectrays each hold 30 2 x 2 slides and load directly into your Selectron Changer. 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